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MIL Driving me CRAZY!!!

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Re: MIL Driving me CRAZY!!!

  • image Hinessn:
    I guess I just thought parents were there for advice and support...

    You know, some parents are alcoholics or drug addicts or beat their children or are just bat-shit_insane. They aren't all June and Ward Cleaver.

    fiizzlee = vag ** fiizzle = peen ** Babies shouldn't be born wit thangs ** **They're called first luddz fo' a reason -- mo' is supposed ta come after. Yo Ass don't git a medal fo' marryin yo' prom date. Unless yo ass is imoan. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Then yo ass git a all-expenses paid cruise ta tha Mediterranean n' yo ass git ta hook up Jared Padalecki on tha flight over while bustin yo' jammies. But still no medal.
  • Thats what I don't understand. According to FMIL she has hated me for years now and just hasn't told me until now. FI thinks its menopause but idk.
  • image zitiqueen:

    image Hinessn:
    I guess I just thought parents were there for advice and support...

    You know, some parents are alcoholics or drug addicts or beat their children or are just bat-shit_insane. They aren't all June and Ward Cleaver.

    The ironic thing is that earlier today she went on this almost unreadable rant on MM (not sure why, she doesn't post there) about how she is 21 and people on the Nest don't value her opinion because she's young and how she has all this life experience to share blahblahblah.

    Yea, it's her age that are making people not listen to her, it has nothing to do with the fact that this brilliant advice she has to share is actually terrible.

  • image Katsouza1:
    image casmgn:

    Given that you refuse to tell us what the fight was about, I have to believe that you actually do deserve the disdain of your FMIL.

    The fight was about me having a girls night. He would have rather spent time with me than have me go out. Which then turned into a fight about my job because I work graveyard shift and he works 9-5 so he feels he didn't get to spend enough time with me.

    Now FMIL is trying to break us up.

    What the? ... you have girls night plans ... FI is jealous ... and now fMIL is trying to break you up?

    What is really going on?

    My darling daughter just turned 4 years old.
  • image casmgn:
    image zitiqueen:

    image Hinessn:
    I guess I just thought parents were there for advice and support...

    You know, some parents are alcoholics or drug addicts or beat their children or are just bat-shit_insane. They aren't all June and Ward Cleaver.

    The ironic thing is that earlier today she went on this almost unreadable rant on MM (not sure why, she doesn't post there) about how she is 21 and people on the Nest don't value her opinion because she's young and how she has all this life experience to share blahblahblah.

    Yea, it's her age that are making people not listen to her, it has nothing to do with the fact that this brilliant advice she has to share is actually terrible.

    I was just thinking that myself... MAYBE (just maybe) people don't listen to you because you give bad advice and are totally immature, not because you are 21. 

    Never ever run to your parents to complain about your spouse.  Then stuff like this happens and your parents hate your husband over little stuff. 

  • image casmgn:
    image zitiqueen:

    image Hinessn:
    I guess I just thought parents were there for advice and support...

    You know, some parents are alcoholics or drug addicts or beat their children or are just bat-shit_insane. They aren't all June and Ward Cleaver.

    The ironic thing is that earlier today she went on this almost unreadable rant on MM (not sure why, she doesn't post there) about how she is 21 and people on the Nest don't value her opinion because she's young and how she has all this life experience to share blahblahblah.

    Yea, it's her age that are making people not listen to her, it has nothing to do with the fact that this brilliant advice she has to share is actually terrible.

    Whoops!  She just deleted the part of her bio that says she's 21 and been married for less than a year.

  • image Katsouza1:
    Thats what I don't understand. According to FMIL she has hated me for years now and just hasn't told me until now. FI thinks its menopause but idk.

    I echo what everyone else has said about this being a FI problem. ?Let this be a lesson learned...NEVER complain to parents about your partner/spouse. ?I think, in order to try to repair things with FMIL, you need to talk to FI and find out exactly what it is he said to her. ?Then, maybe it would be beneficial for you, FI, and FMIL to all sit down together to discuss the issue.

    That being said, my MIL acted like she just loved me from the moment we met to the moment FI proposed. ?She even helped him pick out the ring and plan the proposal. ?The closer the wedding date got, the worse she got, to the point where there was a big blowup between FI and her a few weeks before the wedding, because he had just had enough. ?We still don't know what her issue was, but suspect it was her getting paranoid that she was going to "lose" her only son and that he'd abandon her like her daughter did when she was married. ?(Daughter married a navy man and moved to Hawaii.) ?Of course, it would be absolutely ridiculous for her to think we were going to abandon her when (1) we live about four blocks away from her and (2) we've always been there for her when she's needed us. ?I don't know if our relationship will ever be the same, but it is getting better as time goes on.

  • It's "flack" not "slack" - they have nearly opposite meanings.

    Your FI or DH (which is he?) sounds more than a little douchey for complaining about a girls night and then running to his Mom about the fight. 

  • So... you've been together since you were 12, and at 21 you need counseling. Huh?

    Where is RedFlag! when you need her?

    Cut your losses and run, dear.  Life's too short.

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • This is most definitely something your FI needs to resolve with her and tell her to leave alone - he was wrong to involve her, and now he needs to remind her that it's over & done with.  For crying out loud, if he can get over it, she does too!
    Waiting for some innocuous creativity... I'll let you know.
  • Disregard Hines.  She's the poster on Relationships who went on a big rant in a thread asking about a friend's possibly abusive relationships about how nobody on these boards has ever been abused and how mean people were to say that the woman shouldn't stand for the sort of treatment the OP described and nobody understands and blah blah blah.

    Here's an ironclad, unbreakable, inviolable rule for healthy marriages: unless there's abuse, do not share your disagreements or your grievances or your fights with your spouse with anybody other than a professional therapist who you are seeing in that capacity.  Especially not your family.  Especially not your parents.

    The week before I got married, my mom and I went out to breakfast.  She told me that she loved me more than anybody in the world except for my husband, and she will always be there for me, but that I couldn't talk to her about arguments and fights that DH and I would have.  Because, she said, as much as she loves my husband, I'm her child, and she would hold a grudge and remember pain he'd caused me long after he and I had patched it up and forgotten about it.  I appreciated her saying that to me, and it's still some of the best marital advice I've ever heard.

    Your fiance was wrong to air your dirty laundry in front of his parents, regardless of the situation, and I would certainly think twice before walking down the aisle with a man who dragged his family into our private arguments.

    "You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means." Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickers Lilypie Third Birthday tickers
  • image casmgn:
    image Katsouza1:
    image casmgn:

    Given that you refuse to tell us what the fight was about, I have to believe that you actually do deserve the disdain of your FMIL.

    The fight was about me having a girls night. He would have rather spent time with me than have me go out. Which then turned into a fight about my job because I work graveyard shift and he works 9-5 so he feels he didn't get to spend enough time with me.

    Now FMIL is trying to break us up.

    There is something missing from your story.  No one goes from loving someone dearly for years to strongly disliking them because of an innocent girls night.

    My guess is the something missing is her FI accused her of cheating on him and used the graveyard shift hours and girl's nights as proof.

    And that's probably where the counselling comes in.  Either how to deal with his jealousy issues or to get over her cheating past.

     

    If he's this jealous, you're better off leaving him.

    And if you are cheating, take it as a sign he's not the one and move on.

     

    And if he's really willing to start a fight over your job and seeing your friends then I'm seeing a bigger red flag.  Be glad he showed his true colors before you felt trapped by his control issues in a marriage.

  • MIL need to get a damn life!! I have the same problem with and plzzz i dont stress it!! MIL needs to get up....get out....and accept it!

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