March 2008 Weddings
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Confession...

Since we all are being honest. I have been having a really rough year with the husband. Everything changed after we got married and has been a huge adjustment. RIght down the putting all of our fiances together.

Then I talk to married ladies and they are like "ohhh yeah that is married life". They called it first wedding blues.

Plus I feel like I'm stuck. He is scared to buy a house and have kids and I'm like dying for both....

I just thought that you should be really really happy your first year!

image image image Emily and Dan 03-15-2008 Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

Re: Confession...

  • Emily I do have to admit that merging finances was very hard for us. We did it about 3 years ago now when we bought our house. He wants extra money to put in his account, I no longer have my own account (which sometimes I really wish I did) but Because I do all the finances I know how much we have/and dont have for that matter at any given time. It is not easy.....anyone who passes it is off is kidding themselves....as far as houses and babies both are VERY big steps....and it is a scary thing especially with the way things are in the world right now. I just got off the phone with my mom who was trying to reassure me that everything would be fine when we have children b/c once again I began to FREAK Out about child care. I talked to someone today (she owns a daycare) and she charges $125 a week-A WEEK! I can not believe childcare ist hat expensive......Anyway I dont know if any of this really helps but our first year has not been all strawberries and champagne you know-dont worry you are not alone and although we have had some tough times for differnt issues I dont think that anyone really has a "pefect" first year.....just thoughts...sorry for rambling! Smile
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers BabyFruit Ticker
  • aww thanks! I'm glad to hear that I'm not the only going through this
    image image image Emily and Dan 03-15-2008 Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • We moved in together last year after we got engaged and it was TOUGH. We never had fights like that and we almost called off the wedding twice. It's tough to merge finances and be together so much. I don't have a lot of advice but know that we are here if you need us.
  • I read a fantastic book when we were engaged called Emotionally Engaged and it talked about being engaged mostly but also talked about the first year of marriage. The gist of it was that everyone thinks being a newlywed is perfect and happy with sunshine and rainbows. But reality is that you're two people who are married but don't know how to be married yet. The first year is tough and you learn a lot about yourself and your husband and you both change. It's a great book and really helped me as I went from being engaged to being married. I knew what kinds of things might happen and when they did I knew what was going on.

    And yes, we had some issues from the beginning of our marriage. But you just hang in and work on things...that's being married.

    Baby Merlin! image Daisypath Anniversary Years Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Oh yeah, things are different. We haven't really put our fiances together yet. We created a joint account and I changed banks and everything just because that was what he wanted to do. He was then to change his account into a savings account and we would then use the joint account. As of right now, he still has his account and I have the so called joint account. I actually got onto him one day about why I changed banks and created a joint account if he wasn't going to follow through.

    Finally, right before Christmas he said we were going to change everything over after the first of the year and he even put money into the joint account. I think with the baby coming, he realized that he better start the savings account.

    As for  children, we are expecting. I really didn't have any issues with him not want to start right now. He turned 30 in November so, he figure now would be a good time.

    We have other little issues, but nothing that can't be handled.

  • Awww,thank you for being honest Em. It's hard to be honest when the first years is "supposed" to be perfect and amazing. But it can be hard, really hard. 2 people are merging their lives. While i have enjoyed this last year, there have absolutly been tough times, and money is almost always the reason. That is normal though, its such a brand new think.

    did i mis read that you are expecting? like having a child? CONGRATS!!!

  • forget that baby thing- my bad. i was reading the last post not OP. sorry!
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