Sex & Romance
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Premature ejaculation

Does anybody have a husband who has this?  Instead of getting better in the last year, it has gotten worse.  It is driving me crazy!!  Sometimes sex only lasts for all of 90 seconds.  We tried a sex therapist about a year ago but that didn't help at all.  Does anybody have any suggestions?

Re: Premature ejaculation

  • Sorry, My H does not have this problem, but I Google'd causes and cures...

    ?imageMasturbation. Having sex alone about two to four hours before the big event helps some men have a stronger, longer-lasting erection the second time around.

    ?imageThe stop-and-start technique. While you're experimenting by yourself or having sex with your partner, take a little break just as you're about to reach your "point of no return" and climax. Try to relax for about 20 or 30 seconds, and then start again.

    ?The squeeze method. This is like the stop-and-start method, but when you take a break, try squeezing the tip or middle of your penis with your thumb and index finger for several seconds. Stop squeezing, wait about 30 seconds, then continue lovemaking as before. This helps many men delay their orgasms.

    ?imageThe lower position. Many men find it easier to prolong lovemaking with the woman on top, because you don't have to support your weight and you can relax more. This position can also reduce sensitivity in some men. If you haven't tried it, experiment and see if it helps you



    .





  • You can also try numbing agents (creams you can find at sex shops) and condoms (if you're not already) to desensitize him a little.
  • I understand completely. My husband has the same problem. We've never seen a sex therapist or anything though. We dated a long time before we got married and were sexually active, so I kept thinking things would get better. Some times are a little better, but recently we didn't even make it through 10 minutes of foreplay!?

    I don't know about you, but the hardest thing for me is that I don't want my husband to feel inadequate in some way, because I don't think he is. I just think that like many situations that come up during a marriage, this is something we should tackle together.

    I'll keep searching for ideas and share if I find anything! In the meantime, though, it seems that you and your husband are pretty open with each other about this. Any suggestions for how I can bring up the topic and get my guy to talk about it? ?

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  • I posted about this a few weeks ago and didn't get any suggestions.  My husband has the same problem and I don't know what to do.  It's so frustrating and I wish there was something I could do to help, but nothing seems to work. 

     What did your sex therapist say about it? Did he/she have any suggestions? My husband got this problem b/c for 3 years he masturbated a lot b/c we had 3 kids in 3 years and I was on "pelvic rest" for most of my pregnancies due to preterm labor.  It stinks, and if I had known we would have this problem, I would have tried to do something to prevent it!

     The only thing that's helped a little bit is if my husband has masturbated in the morning or a few hours before we have sex. He lasts a little longer then - maybe 4-5 mins at the most.  He also tried to use Viagra one time to keep himself hard even after he had finished.  It didn't really work b/c I could tell he had already ejaculated. 

    It sucks - I'm sorry you have the same problem too. If anyone gives you a good suggestion - please pass it along.

  • i was just googling that this morning.  i wouldn't use the numbing agents they are not always okay for the body.  i am going to try using condoms (it coincides with my getting off BC) to see but I also told DH to do it solo a little more often he used to a lot more in college and he lasted a lot longer, although momof3kiddos says her husband got this way because he did it solo for so long...so i'm not sure. i'll let you know if anything works.
  • Kevinsdes, yes - he did develop this problem because by masturbating so much, he would be able to bring himself to ejaculation so easily, it became "the norm" for him.  It's gotten to the point where we can't even really have foreplay that involves him because he may not even make it to penetration.

     It's so frustrating and embarassing for him and he's so upset that he can't bring me to climax anymore.  When we have sex, I do it begrudingly because it's not even worth it for me anymore. I would rather cuddle and hug him than go through the motions. 

  • DH said Kegels.  Or zencore tabs

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