Sex & Romance
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embarassing question- don't flame me pleaseee!

Hi,

I am a virgin.  I am thinking my first time will be soon... so I am wondering something.  When I fool around with my boyfriend he can put two fingers up.... no more.  So I am wondering would that be considered really tight, like will it hurt/bleed to actually have sex for the first time?  He doesn't even know I'm a virgin.  Arghhh!  Help me.  I'm very nervous.

Thanks,

Kate

Re: embarassing question- don't flame me pleaseee!

  • Honestly..it will hurt and everyone is different on bleeding, (I didn't but I am also a dancer and horseback rider so I have heard that  straddling the saddle could have loosened me up..). I think you need to tell your boyfriend that you are a virgin..he needs to know that for the first times you need to go slow and be loved, not thrust into like it's no big thing. It's ok to be nervous..don't worry.


  • That's where I was at before my first time.  I did bleed and it did hurt pretty bad, to be brutally honest.  Just have him take it slow.

  • From my experience I can tell you that it will hurt and you will probably bleed (I bleed a lot but everyone is different) The only thing I can tell you is loss LOTS of lube and have him go slowly.

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  • im more concerned as to why he doesnt know tyou are a virgin. If you havent been able to tell him that you shouldnt be having sex with him!
  • I agree with a previous post. Why haven't you told your boyfriend you're a virgin? If you're considering losing your virginity to this guy, you should be 100% honest with him.

    My first time hurt, and I did bleed (I am very small), but it stops. I would say it hurts for everyone to SOME degree. I agree with the other posts. He should be patient and go slow. You should relax and try not to be nervous. If you're overly nervous, it will make things more difficult.

     

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  • you need to tell him that?you are a virgin. ?Honesty is a very important part of any relationship.

    My?first time didn't hurt nor did I bleed. ?Everyone's experience is different. ?For us, we had fooled around ALOT so I was pretty ready to go when we actually did do it. ?I do remember saying to myself "this is it?" haha. ?It does get better but it takes a lot of practice.

  • I agree... The first time I thought This is it?!  The first time isn't very exciting because you are so worried.  Just try to relax and let him know that you are a virgin.

  • how old are you exactly? You have prior posts about different degrees of love and how to get computers donated to your classroom....I am hoping you're a teacher and not a student...

    If you can't tell him your a virgin then why are you having sex anyway? that makes no sense. make it count with someone you truly love.

  • I too agree that you need to upfront and honest with your BF.  My first time didn't hurt and I didn't bleed.  My DH - at the time BF - knew it was my first time, and took it slow.  He got me in the mood for sure before, so I think that helped.  I was also thinking at the end - That was it?  Don't expect an O the first time.
  • Can I just throw my two cents in here and recommend that you wait? Your first time needs to be with someone extra special--in other words, someone who knows you've never done it, and someone who respects that. If you haven't told him, that just doesn't bode well as far as trust issues go (there should be absolutely NO reason for you to be embarrassed about being a virgin). And believe me, as much as you might want to be able to say you're not a virgin anymore, in a few years if this guy wasn't special you definitely will regret it.

    Even though I didn't do it myself, I'm an advocate for saving yourself for marriage. In hindsight, I really wish I had done that. I made some big mistakes with some even bigger losers before I finally met my husband.

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  • I would have to agree with some previous posters - if this guy doesn't already know you are a virgin, you should not be considering having sex with him.  He may be the one you want to lose your virginity to, but it'll be even more special if you are open & honest with him for awhile & allow yourselves to grow closer before you do it. 

    As far as first times go, I did not bleed & it also didn't hurt.  If you're used to using tampons, you may not bleed or feel pain.  That's no guarantee though.  If/when you do decide it's time to do it, make sure you feel secure & loved.  Do not rush this.  You don't get a do-over. 

    For the record... I also thought "What? That was it?!" afterwards.  It does get better.  Like anything, it takes practice. 

  • um... you DEFINITELY need to tell him your a virgin! More then likely its going to hurt. It hurt me for the first like 8 times i had sex. It gets better with time. I didnt really bleed THAT much. Some people do some dont. But thats one reason why you need to tell him that your a virgin so he knows why you are bleeding(if you do). But can i just say if you arnt close enough with this guy to tell him you are a virgin you most likley arnt close enough to give up you virginity to him...
  • i just got married & was a virgin. i did not bleed at all (some do, some don't) but it did hurt a LOT. just take your time. It is wonderful & just remember the pain doesn't last forever. :) you do need to let him know you are a virgin. it kind of worries me that you want to have sex with him when he doesn't even know you very well... if he did, he'd know you are a virgin.
  • imagesugarmag13:
    im more concerned as to why he doesnt know tyou are a virgin. If you havent been able to tell him that you shouldnt be having sex with him!

    Ditto 5,000 times.

    If you don't know this guy well enough to tell him that you're a virgin, I don't know why you'd want to lose your virginity to him.  Are you desperate? 

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  • I too question how old you are and if your are engaged/married or have a baby on the way?

  • Waiting for a relpy from this one!
  • Look I know you want to do it and all but trust me you will be a lot better off waiting until u get married. Don't even tell the guy you are a virgin until you and the  guy are almost set in a relationship. You need to stay true to yourself and wait. If he really loves you he will only want to be the only man that you ever have sex with. Listen to me I know! Hold out a while longer. Sometimes when you go away to college you meet new people and never see the olds ones again and I wouldn't to happen to you and your virginity. This world is cold and sex isn't even good the first time. It's really good when you love someone and they are truly passoniate and not just lusting. You should wait. And sex will just cause you to have emotions that you really don't have right now and It is easier if those emotions are available to someone who totally cares and honors you! I just don't want you to carry any bagage. Stay True to the Game!
  •   How old are you, occupation, education etc? There is much we are guessing here.

     I agree with  sugarmag13 etc and babycakes.

     

    lg

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