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Did you tell your family?

DH and I had a long talk and decided that we are going to not have children and focus on a stronger relationship and more comfortable life for us.  We have a wonderful nephew to spoil and "borrow" for the day and return.  We want to build our own home one day and had a long heartfelt discussion about both of our dreams and decided that we would rather focus on us.  (My DH is turning 40 this year and we were going to stop trying when he turned 45 so we just decided now to not even try and focus on the house.  Did anyone who decided to not have children tell your family or did you hope the questions would eventually stop.  We celebrate our 1 year next weekend.

Re: Did you tell your family?

  • its funny that you post this because just last night my mom was asking me about it. It came up in conversation because a friend of mine was there and we were talking about it.

    My DH and I are almost positive we don't want children. We have had many conversations about it. We just had our 3 year anniversary and we are still on the young side. So we've said if later down the road we change our minds, we can address it then.

      we've told my mom in the past that we aren't thinking about it, not any time soon,etc. But this is the first time i've actually said to her that we can see ourselves very happy with no children, that i'm looking forward to having nieces and nephews soon but i'm not interested in children of my own. She just stared at me with that really? type look. So i just emphasized that i have no desire or pull for children, nothing about the process appeals to me. She pretty much dropped it after that but i'm sure that's only because in the past i've fought with her about not bothering us about it.

    imageimage
  • It's nobody's business but mine and H's.  If somebody mentions anything, I just make a joke and change the subject.  They'll figure it out eventually.
  • DH and I made the decision to not have kids before we got married.  We informed both sets of parents before our wedding.  That was 7 years ago and I still get the occasional pressure from my mother but I've been abundantly clear of where we stand on the issue.  
  • We are still in the undecided camp but our age of 30 is making people question but its none of their business. I have some health issues that might prevent it anyway so some people just think its because of that...my parents actually don't care if they become grandparents...they feel its up to us, so we are very lucky there and it makes it easier to never have to make a declaration of yes or no. 
    "Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly"
  • Hi there, Yup i am also in the camp of not sure if i want kids. I enjoy all my free time and i enjoy when our nephew comes to visit with his Mommy and Daddy. My husband says he wants kids one day but he also is on the fence as well,  So we decided to take the next few years, renovate our house, take some trips on his Motorcycle, and save up and then come back to the subject again and then decide. We have not told his family yet, nor do they ask which is a good thing, 
  • image burybuck0489:
    Hi there, Yup i am also in the camp of not sure if i want kids. I enjoy all my free time and i enjoy when our nephew comes to visit with his Mommy and Daddy. My husband says he wants kids one day but he also is on the fence as well,  So we decided to take the next few years, renovate our house, take some trips on his Motorcycle, and save up and then come back to the subject again and then decide. We have not told his family yet, nor do they ask which is a good thing, 

    we are doing the same thing, trying to save, taking trips on our motorcycle and hoping to renovate our house in the next few years!

    imageimage
  • I told my mom about it, but I tend to be more open to my mom then he does with his family...though I swore her to secrecy.  She would be happy with whatever decision we decide.  Which is why I knew I could tell her.  Though for the of the family members they can just guess.  Atleast this will help with future mother's days and I wont feel like the only non-mom there.  We will always have our fur babies.
  • I boldly tell the whole world that I am not having kids! LOL

  • LOL so does my friend back home lol 
  • We pretty much made sure it was generally mentioned/known in the family. When asked directly we'd state, "We're not planning to have children." But we never made an official announcement. Now that I've had my "tubes tied" it's a bit trickier. I don't want to tell my medical history, so when asked directly or told "It might happen when you least expect it, I just say "It's not for us." or "We have other plans."
  • H and I always made it clear that we didn't want kids even back when we were kids. When we got engaged one of the things we pointed out to people was that it was great having a partner who agreed with you on kids - aka none. From there we just let the grapevine do it's thing.

    When H had his vasectomy done we told our parents and pretty much no one else. They weren't shocked at this point. To those who are, oh well, too late now! 

    Photobucket
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