So, recently my aunt Becca has found out that she is expecting her first child at 43, and she is freaking the hell out.
She started trying about 2 decades ago and gave up after never conceiving. I am not sure when this was, as I was still a teenager and she didn't talk to me much about it. I really only found out after my own miscarriage 2 years ago.
Anyways, she saw a doctor who feels she would be better off terminating the pregnancy, which has me aghast. This doctor is highly clinical and was giving her all these facts about how the pregnancy would be hard and she may go through it all, risk her life, and get a child with a genetic disorder. My aunt is considering this for not only the safety reasons, but she worries it's not good for her child to have to deal with retired parents when they are just heading off to college. Or having to deal with aging parents when they should be starting families of their own.
Her husband is pretty upset with her for even suggesting she terminate after trying for so long. He wants this child, and from what I can tell it's hurting their marriage that she is even considering abortion. He is apparently trying to understand it's her body and her choice, but he cannot get past that this baby is his as well.
My aunt is really healthy, so my uncle feels if Becca went to the fertility doctor, who knew the whole infertile past, she'd provide better security and support, but Becca isn't sure yet.
I am pretty young myself (newlywed, as I think my siggy shows) so I am not sure what I can tell her. I am trying to help her, but I am pretty against abortion myself. I also recognize that I have no idea what she is dealing with though. If I were pregnant, there'd be no question to keeping it. I am 24, of course we'd keep it. But I don't fully grasp what a 43 year old woman would be feeling. And while she will share some with me she is still shutting me out of a lot of her feelings and thoughts. (She actually only came to me because she felt I was the only one who could understand the panic of a pregnancy since I was caught off-guard with my unwanted pregnancy 3 years ago, then it seemed, she regretted it when I didn't react the way she wanted.)
Can anyone help me as to what I can even offer her right now? Or maybe tell me more about what it's like to be MIDDLE AGED and dealing with an unwanted pregnancy? I mean, I only know what it's like to be young and pregnant...and the only reason I was scared was because I was unmarried, and knew I couldn't provide.