Basically, I need some advice on how to get through these uncomfortable situations or on how to avoid them.
All of my in-law's gatherings are centered around drinking, and this is just extremely difficult territory for me. This heavy consumption of alcohol makes both my FIL and BIL become "jokingly" very verbally abusive (especially toward my husband); it makes my MIL think she needs to nit-pick and mother my husband and I to death; and, since that was environment in which my husband was raised, he joins in and can no longer act as my "buffer" or companion.
I'm not against alcohol, but I just can't handle the way that we are treated when everyone gets really intoxicated.
I just don't know how to navigate the situation: I really enjoy spending time with his family until everyone has had a few too many. But, anytime I want to leave before things get out of hand 1. My husband wants to stay 2. If my husband actually agrees with me, we get a crazily intense guilt trip- no matter how airtight of an excuse we give.
I know that I need articulate my feelings better to my husband, but I'm not sure how to talk about it without sounding like I'm condemning him/his family. How do I go about doing this?! And how can we work together to avoid the bad situations?