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Baby?!? I'm 46, he's 54

My H and I were married 2 months ago...I can't believe how many people have asked us if we're having a baby!?!?! It's laughable.

I'm 46 and never had kids. (Never really tried).

He's 54. Has a 29 yr. old that's a hot-mess from his 1st marriage AND he had a vasectomy years ago. He also has 5 grandkids ages 9 mo. - 9 yrs.

We have a 2 yr old little dog that we're nuts about. That's our kid.

A BABY?!?! Um, no. LOL!

:)Steph D., newlywed

Re: Baby?!? I'm 46, he's 54

  • Times are changing and many people are having kids later in life - and while you may not be able to have a kid naturally, adoption is always an option. 

    That being said, if I was a friend/family member, I would hope that I knew you well enough to know you were set on not having kids.

    Crazy!
  • I agree that times are changing -- especially in the realm of education.  Many professionals are focusing on their careers and following them through to PhDs...which means families get pushed off until 30s and 40s.  So, it is not unheard of.

    But yes -- perhaps those that are closer to you should already know your position on the makeup of your family.   If it is something you want - then definitely consider talking about adoption or other options.  If you're happy with your puppy and grandkids (that sounds like so much fun), then let that be your life and your happiness =)

     

    Although I'm still in my mid-20s and 6 months into marriage -- I have learned that many people try to push their own perspective of marriage onto others.  I can't tell you how many "man vs woman" 'husband vs wife" stereotypical comments I've had to deflect.  My husband and I are NOT the typical couple. He is a fantastic man and it irks me when others try to put the 'lazy husband' persona on him (mostly by those who have never met him).  But thats just it ---- those are other people's ideas of marriage and life.

    As long as you're happy -- then you can simply smile, nod and laugh on the inside at these people. =)

     

     

  • I agree with pps, times are changing and people are waiting later to have kids... this could be the reason others have drawn certain conclusions. It always astounds me that even though times are changing people yet use labels and stereotypes to create a 'traditional' dynamic.

    We are one of those couples that are now in our late 20s early 30s and are not on the horizon of children. We have been married 7 years and still have school (I am working on my PhD) and traveling we want to commence. We are even beginning to toy with the idea of moving back overseas for awhile once we wrap things up. 

    Vacation
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