I'm in need of an unbiased, genuine opinion on this matter from people who can look at both sides...
3 years ago my husband (then fiance) and I began renovations on a home that has been in his family for 1 generation and he inherited after the passing of his relative. For extra insight, his mother grew up in the house.
As we were living in my home town, 70 miles away, his parents helped by overseeing the renovations. Note: They did more than I was comfortable with but it's in the past now. After moving in, it took about 6 months for them/us to adjust (they'd stop in whenever to suggest doing work, etc.) but we finally set some boundaries and everything was very amicable.
DH and I are 100% independent from everyone, financially and otherwise. I have even set the boundaries that I don't want his family "helping" here because it's our first home that we should work on together, without his father putting himself in the middle.
Also, to add, naturally the 1st year DH's parents wanted to bring their family/friends in through the house to show them everything. I was incredibly patient with this (remember we've been moved in and these are last minute calls to "stop over" with whomever). Finally, it died down, DH and I continued working on the house independently, turning it into our home with our tastes, personalities, etc. Here's where the issue is:
We hosted my family for a holiday party the weekend before Christmas. The next morning at 11am MIL calls DH and asks if they can come through and show their friends everything we've done. We said no, primarily because we were still in bed and nothing was cleaned up from the night before, but also for the principle of the matter that it's our home, not a house for my IL's to show to whomever, whenever they'd like.
Last weekend at a function we saw the friends of my IL's and while they didn't say anything about that event specifically, they kept referring to the fact that it was DH's family's old house. The way it was said came off very matter-of-fact and offensively as if saying to me it wasn't my right to say no to DH's mother coming over with her friends. IDK if it irritated me for that reason, or that 3 years later people are still focusing on the fact of who's house it originally was (I haven't/won't forget but it's nothing like the house it was then) .
It wasn't wrong to tell my IL's they couldn't come by that day, was it?