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Secret money

So, over the last few months I've been hoarding my travel checks with the thought that I'd surprise my husband with the new found money in a lump sum so we could do something fun like a weekend away, or buy some furniture we've been wanting, or to pay down a credit card.  But, now, seeing how fast it grows, I have a secret wish to keep going to see how much I can save over time....it's become like a game now.  My husband will think it's funny that I actually managed to keep a secret from him. Have you ever created a secret slush fund to spring on your SO? 

Re: Secret money

  • You shouldn't do it. Because it's all about honesty in a relationship.
  • Yeah, he should probably divorce me.  STAT.

  • I don't see this ending well for your marriage. I'd be PISSED if my H did something like this. If you have a savings account that is what you should be putting money into. Is your H bad with money? Do you not trust him not to spend all the money? This is the strangest "surprise the H" I've ever heard of.
  • I don't think there is anything wrong with doing this in a relationship if there are not money issues/concerns.    My husband has done this several times to pay for anniversary weekends away and other things that we simply would not have been able to afford had we put the money in with our household funds.  Secretly, I always knew he was tucking some money away for something but it's always a great surprise when I found out just how much he managed to stash and what he had planned to do with it!
  • image MLE2010:
    I don't see this ending well for your marriage. I'd be PISSED if my H did something like this. If you have a savings account that is what you should be putting money into. Is your H bad with money? Do you not trust him not to spend all the money? This is the strangest "surprise the H" I've ever heard of.
  • image MLE2010:
    I don't see this ending well for your marriage. I'd be PISSED if my H did something like this. If you have a savings account that is what you should be putting money into. Is your H bad with money? Do you not trust him not to spend all the money? This is the strangest "surprise the H" I've ever heard of.
  • image bcc9180:
    I don't think there is anything wrong with doing this in a relationship if there are not money issues/concerns.    My husband has done this several times to pay for anniversary weekends away and other things that we simply would not have been able to afford had we put the money in with our household funds.  Secretly, I always knew he was tucking some money away for something but it's always a great surprise when I found out just how much he managed to stash and what he had planned to do with it!

    What you are talking about is a gift type saving money. OP has "secret money" to pay bills or buy furniture. Why would any spouse feel the need to do that? It seems her H has a spending issue or she doesn't trust him with money. 

  • oops...sorry about the quoting.

     Money's not an issue for us, we do okay.  He handles all the money, which is why this is the only way I'd be able to surprise him as my travel checks come to me.  There's no way he'd be pissed, nor would I under similar circumstances.  I just think it's fun. 

  • We are in a similar boat; I pay all the bills and handle the finances so the only way hubby would ever be able to surprise me is if he tucked a little money away :-)
  • I don't know- as you aren't doing this to save money to pay off a secret shopping habit, I don't know that I see the big deal.

    I submit receipts for our FSA.  When I get the $$, I transfer it immediately to our savings.  OUR savings.  But DH doesn't really look at the savings so he doesn't really "know" about it - and as such, I try to put as much in there as I can w/o him really thinking about it so that if we need some extra $$, we have it. 

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  • I think you should keep it going. A secret stash is necessary for everyone.

    Also, let's face it... if you know what hit's the fan one day, you will be happy to have it.  As long as you aren't hurting anyone, what's the big deal? 

     

  • My DH and I have a joint account, and then separate personal accounts. If you're paying your fair share into the joint account, i see no reason why your own savings is a problem. The being secretive about it is a slippery slope though.

    Personally, I'd pick a milestone (say $1000) and then tell him about it. "Husband, guess what?!? I've been saving some cash to surprise you with, and I managed to save $1000! I don't want to spend it though, I want to see how much we can save without spending! If we save 5 grand, we could take an amazing vacation!" Something along those lines.

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  • I have created a secret fund when it was a surprise for him. But thats it. Any money I have saved up now he knows about
  • No. I'd never keep money secret from my H.
  • Eh, I see nothing wrong with it if you're not using it to fund your liaisons with the pool boy or something. 

     

    H and I have secret "cash stashes" for fun/ emergency money that's easily accessible. We both know where the other person's is, but we don't touch it. My mother always had what she called her fun money stash. Dad knew about it, but not where it was. Sometimes it's just fun to have a harmless little secret. This seems harmless. 

  • Money I feel like is one of those things you don't keep secret. I don't like feeling like I'm in the dark about that kind of thing, so if my husband did that, I would be a little bit upset we didnt plan whatever that was together.

    Although this would be a whole different ballpark if we had separate accounts. 

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  • You go Girl! Secret cash can make for something fun. I did it before and it turned out fine.
  • Money is a big subject for a lot of couples.  I have a secret account but it also has my husbands name on it.  We don't live paycheck to paycheck so it's not a big deal.  I had a savings pre-marriage and once we got married I never got rid of it.  Eventually I added his name to it so it's his money too.  If we are ever in a tough spot, it'll be a relief.
  • image RenoisPrettierThanYou:

    Yeah, he should probably divorce me.  STAT.

    hahaha, this is awesome. I agree that couples should be honest with each other, but I can assure you that if my H surprised me with a secret stash of money that he was going to use for US, I would be beyond ecstatic! It's not like you're hiding money from him that you're only going to spend on yourself. I think it's awesome! Unfortunately right now H and I are trying to get out of debt so we can start saving, and I'm jealous of your "secret stash"! Keep it up girl. If you thought he'd get mad, you obviously wouldn't be doing it. 

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