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Job problems!

Hello!

 My husband and I have been married for 3 and a half years.  The entire length of our marriage, my husband has struggled finding work.  He was a teacher when we met, but due to us living 2 hours apart, he gave up his teaching job to come to where I lived.  I, obviously, was able to keep my job.  After that, he couldn't find a teaching job here, so he was a substitute teacher and then a lifeguard during the summer months.  Last May, he got a full time job at an IT help desk.  We were really excited because it was full time and was a salary position!  Well, his boss is not helpful at all.  They have a program they use to instruct people on how to fix their problems.  He has tried asking his boss about how to use it and asking questions when he gets to a difficult task.  She gets mad and either huffs at him or tells him to figure it out.  

He is feeling like a failure and that nothing works out for him.  I am trying to be supportive and tell him that I will help him find something else, will help out if he wants to take classes, etc, but he doesn't want to do any of it.  The job market stinks here and I have no idea what to do to help him feel supported yet get him motivated enough to either stay at the current job or look for a new job.  As of right now, he doesn't want to do either!

 Any advice? 

Anniversary

Re: Job problems!

  • I can't figure out why he'd quit a perfectly good job to move closer to you.

    This is something the 2 of you should have worked on together when the relationship got serious --- you could have moved closer to him or the 2 of you could have chosen a town near or within reasonable commuting distance of his job.

    Living 2 hours apart isn't exactly a short drive but it also isn't living a state or 2 away. He should never have quit his job.

    I suggest that he sign up for seminars that will help his job (companies will usually pay for them as a courtesy to the employee) and if his company won't pay for it, he should do it on his own. He should consider it an investment in his job and career.

    In the interim, maybe he can try one of those on line aptitude tests to see where his interests lie and what future career he might want to pursue. While he still has a job, he can take classes.

    That's what I suggest.
  • image TarponMonoxide:
    I can't figure out why he'd quit a perfectly good job to move closer to you.

    This is something the 2 of you should have worked on together when the relationship got serious --- you could have moved closer to him or the 2 of you could have chosen a town near or within reasonable commuting distance of his job.

    Living 2 hours apart isn't exactly a short drive but it also isn't living a state or 2 away. He should never have quit his job.

    I suggest that he sign up for seminars that will help his job (companies will usually pay for them as a courtesy to the employee) and if his company won't pay for it, he should do it on his own. He should consider it an investment in his job and career.

    In the interim, maybe he can try one of those on line aptitude tests to see where his interests lie and what future career he might want to pursue. While he still has a job, he can take classes.

    That's what I suggest.

    You are correct!  We thought about commuting.  That was the plan; however, I lived north of Atlanta and he lived south of it.  Living in the middle would have us in traffic of over an hour each way as well as having us live in or around Atlanta, which was WAY too expensive.  We really had to choose one or the other.

     Thanks for the advice! 

    Anniversary
  • .

    image TarponMonoxide:

    I can't figure out why he'd quit a perfectly good job to move closer to you.

    This is something the 2 of you should have worked on together when the relationship got serious --- you could have moved closer to him or the 2 of you could have chosen a town near or within reasonable commuting distance of his job.

    Living 2 hours apart isn't exactly a short drive but it also isn't living a state or 2 away. He should never have quit his job.

    Um, when H and I married I was living 2.5 hours away from him. Living somewhere in between our jobs and both of us commuting 1+ hours in opposite directions each way would've sucked the life out of our relationship. Plus in the middle is no man's land and a terrible place to live. So saying what OP and H did was a bad move is short sighted.

    OP, I was your H and struggled for 3 years to find a great job all the while working crappy jobs. My H helped me out by encouraging me and letting me vent. Now I love love my job that it took me so long to find! It was so worth the wait. Big Smile

    GL to you & your H.

  • image srgw:
    .

    OP, I was your H and struggled for 3 years to find a great job all the while working crappy jobs. My H helped me out by encouraging me and letting me vent. Now I love love my job that it took me so long to find! It was so worth the wait. Big Smile

    GL to you & your H.

    Thanks!  I am waiting for that moment when he has a job he loves!  I think I will do what your H did and just support my husband and let him vent.  I'm a "fixer" and want to come up with solutions to problems, but I think that all my H wants/needs right now is to vent.   Thanks again!

    Anniversary
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