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Offended or not- update

Thanks again to everyone that responded to my first post.  But again have a question.  So yesterday my husband gets a call from his sister asking him to be in her wedding.  He was suprised and said" I didnt think you were asking me, its kind of last minute can I think about it and call you back?".  She said its not last minute the wedding is in 2 months.  Anyway about five minutes after they hung up she txtd him.  She didnt even wait for him to call back.  and she said" look I dont deserve to be treated like this. Just forget it, you obviously dont want to be in it."
We were still wondering if we are invited, what to do about the kids, and Im still not sure if they are having the shower late or had it without inviting me.  What do you think of that. 

Re: Offended or not- update

  • She sounds nuts.  Nothing you can do about it.

     

  • image TarponMonoxide:

    She sounds nuts.  Nothing you can do about it.

     

    This. 

    Based on "normal" expectations, I can see why you and your DH would be upset.  But.... clearly his sister isn't normal, he doesn't have a good relationship with her, etc etc etc.  You can't apply normal expectations to a person/situation like this!  

    Your DH is wasting a lot of energy & emotion over a person who CLEARLY isn't going to behave in a manner that he expects. 

    It sucks.  I get that.  but he really needs to start working with who is sister is and not who he wants her to be, or what he wants their relationship to be. 

    "Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
    ~Benjamin Franklin

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  • Whackall indeed --- the invitations already are out or will be going out by the start of February.

    This is an imposition for you and your H and your kiddoes --- as of now, count yourselves as not invited to the event.  IT sucks yeah, but what can you do? She's nutty and I don't think she even knows what she wants herself.
  • I hope I'm not making too many assumptions here, but it sounds like she's holding something against your husband and your family....It seems like maybe she was upset about something and decided at the last minute to be the "bigger person" and offer your husband a position in the wedding party and is shocked and hurt that he wouldn't immediately accept.

    I would see if your husband is up for meeting with her privately to clear the air and see what she's upset about and see if they can get on the same page.  If she's going to be immature and just hold a grudge, I don't think she's going to start acting rationally.

    It's hard not to feel offended, but I would just reset my expectations for her very low so that you're not disappointed by her poor behavior.  You can only control your own actions, so take the high road and try not to be too upset if she ends up not inviting your family. 

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  • image EastCoastBride:
    image TarponMonoxide:

    She sounds nuts.  Nothing you can do about it.

     

    This. 

    Based on "normal" expectations, I can see why you and your DH would be upset.  But.... clearly his sister isn't normal, he doesn't have a good relationship with her, etc etc etc.  You can't apply normal expectations to a person/situation like this!  

    Your DH is wasting a lot of energy & emotion over a person who CLEARLY isn't going to behave in a manner that he expects. 

    It sucks.  I get that.  but he really needs to start working with who is sister is and not who he wants her to be, or what he wants their relationship to be. 

    I 100% agree.  

  • Well as I said in my first post she sided with his other sister in an argument he had with her.  Again it didnt involve me, yes it was about the kids but they dont know that. And we saw her and her fiance around the holidays and no mention of the wedding.  Again the wedding has never been mentioned in front of my family .  My husband was not expecting to be asked.  We are 36 she is 25 we are kind of over being in weddings.  He honestly was upset that she didnt ask the kids.  But she didnt know that.  He thinks his mom made her ask him, but we dont know what she was talking about with not deserving this.  Obviously since they did not include us in even a conversation about the wedding they dont want us involved.  My husband will not meet with her.  Also as my previous post said he has had it with his mother and sisters.   I think they sensed we might not come when my husband asked about my sons pictures being torn in half and hung up.  Im too old for all this highschool behavior. 
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