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HELP- caught husband red handed!!!

He said he was supposed to be meeting someone from work but then it was getting so late and he was not answering so the phone, so i looked at his email and found photos of a naked girl and an email dated today saying they were going to meet up at 6.  I dont know what happened, but its obvious he is not being faithful. We have a 4 year old and a 2 year old. What do i do?!?!?!?  I thought our marriage was fine! We just had sex yesterday and he ALWAYS says he loves me and would never ever cheat on me!!!

Re: HELP- caught husband red handed!!!

  • more details... we have been married for 6 years. I met him in AFrica. He has no family here at all. we were working on bringing his mom over here. we go to church every sunday and I did not see this coming at all... he is driving home now... not sure what I will say or do when he walks in that door...
  • Keep your calm and give home one chance to come clean. Ask him where have you been and tell me the truth you have one chance. 

     

    If he doesn't come clean demand a divorce. Not that he's a piece of *** already but lying to your face he should know he's been caught. If he admits demand counseling.  

  • This is terrible and not good at all.

    I'll give it to you straight:  you'll have to show him the door.Here is why:

    Once a cheater always a cheater and any trust for him that you had is now gone.

    It will be difficult for him to get that trust factor back; you may never be able to trust him again, no matter how much therapy and counseling you and he get.

    And even if you stay with him, you'll have a Sword of Damocles hanging over your head; you'll always wonder if he's cheating again.

    You also have no assurance that this is the first and only extramarital affair he has been having. I don't want to be an alarmist but this may have been going on for quite some time...and he only now just happened to get caught.

    I would keep that photo and the rest of it as evidence and see an attorney asap.

    File for divorce and don't look back.

    Wishing you luck. This has to be horrible for you and the kids..
  • Print the photos and emails so you have proof when he inevitably denies being unfaithful, and talk to a lawyer ASAP.  I'm really sorry this is happening.
  • image renegade gaucho:
    Print the photos and emails so you have proof when he inevitably denies being unfaithful, and talk to a lawyer ASAP.  I'm really sorry this is happening.

    This is a good idea and a very good place to start.  

  • image doglove:

    image renegade gaucho:
    Print the photos and emails so you have proof when he inevitably denies being unfaithful, and talk to a lawyer ASAP.  I'm really sorry this is happening.

    This is a good idea and a very good place to start.  



    Why I said keep the evidence; she will need it when she files for divorce.

    He probably has a green card so there's not much chance he'd be deported. Too bad.
  • You need to get off the computer and stand up for your marriage. Don't wait, call like crazy, track him down. He needs to explain himself, and make him feel as awful as you do. Sorry but cheating is not an option to me, no forgiveness. I'd go down ripping his hair out before I'd  knowingly let him be with someone else.

     

    Best of luck. 

  • Get an STD test done TODAY. Stop sleeping with him. What a pig.
  • image cutiepie0104:

    You need to get off the computer and stand up for your marriage. Don't wait, call like crazy, track him down. He needs to explain himself, and make him feel as awful as you do. Sorry but cheating is not an option to me, no forgiveness. I'd go down ripping his hair out before I'd  knowingly let him be with someone else.

    Best of luck. 

     Cheating isn't an option but she needs to stand up for her marriage?

     This does not compute.

    fiizzlee = vag ** fiizzle = peen ** Babies shouldn't be born wit thangs ** **They're called first luddz fo' a reason -- mo' is supposed ta come after. Yo Ass don't git a medal fo' marryin yo' prom date. Unless yo ass is imoan. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Then yo ass git a all-expenses paid cruise ta tha Mediterranean n' yo ass git ta hook up Jared Padalecki on tha flight over while bustin yo' jammies. But still no medal.
  • image zitiqueen:
    image cutiepie0104:

    You need to get off the computer and stand up for your marriage. Don't wait, call like crazy, track him down. He needs to explain himself, and make him feel as awful as you do. Sorry but cheating is not an option to me, no forgiveness. I'd go down ripping his hair out before I'd  knowingly let him be with someone else.

    Best of luck. 

     Cheating isn't an option but she needs to stand up for her marriage?

     This does not compute.

    "cheating is not an option to me"- Me explaining why I was so Brass about her figuring out whats going on.

    "Stand up for your marriage" Don't let him make the choice for you, if you caught him-don't sit at home and wait. 

     

    I guess thats what I meant.

     

  • Ahhh, I am so sorry sweetie!  It is heartbreaking and it sucks!

    Hopefully you printed and/or forwarded the emails and photos to yourself.

    Be tough with the confrontation....and hang in there!

    You are in my thoughts and prayers!

  • So sorry you are dealing with an azzhole. No matter what he says leave this POS! He wil NOT change!
  • i do not have much advice other then what anyone else has already suggested i just wanted to apologize for the pain he has put you in..
  • By you saying that you go to church I assume you are religious.  If this is the case christianity says that you should confront him on the issue and try to get help maybe in the form of marital counseling or confiding in a trusted friend.  If you do confront him and it seems like he does not care how you feel, or does not seem like he is repentant of what he did at all you can seek counseling, but if he has done it before this time it is more than likely going to happen again if he does not seem sincere in his apology.  Unrepentant infidelity is the only grounds for divorce in the Bible.  It would be best if he wishes to continue on his path if you concealed the real reason of separation from your children until they are older because they will not understand.  If he wants to work on your marriage try as hard as you can to be open minded and forgiving but do not conceal your feelings about the situation.  I hope this helps and I wish you the best.
    Abraswell
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