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No thank you card - WWYD?

I need some input.

When H and I got married we invited one of his friends from out of town.  She didn't RSVP by the RSVP date, so we had to call her (I'm only including this deail to show that she may not be the type to be right on top of things).  She said she couldn't make it.  About a week after our wedding we got a card in the mail from her that contained a pretty generous amount of money.  We promptly wrote her a Thank You card.

Several months later this same friend got married.  H and I were unable to attend but a few weeks before her wedding we sent her a card containing a Macy's gift card since she and her H were registered there.  Right before her wedding, I visited her wedding website and noticed that it said that all gifts should be sent to her H's work.  I had sent the card to her apartment.  I figured it was no big deal because it was sent in a normal sized envelope that could easily fit in her apartment mailbox. 

My issue now is that her wedding was 2 1/2 months ago and we have yet to receive a "Thank You" card from her.  Here's my dilemma: If we contact her to ask her if she received the gift, I feel like that is basically calling her out for not sending us a thank you card.  But I want to make sure that the gift didn't get lost.  And even though I know she didn't give us a generous gift in order to get something back in return, but I don't want her to think that I just didn't send her anything after she went overboard on us.  What would you do?

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Re: No thank you card - WWYD?

  • I would ask her, no harm in asking. Better to know if she received it or not.  I am horrible with Thank You cards. I always write them out and it takes me FOREVER to mail them. 
  • I would call her and first ask her how married life is going, then ask if he received your gift because you were concerned about the fact that you sent it to the apartment and not the work. No mention of thank you cards needs to be made, but you can still make sure the gift wasn't lost.

    There was a gift mini-catastrophe at our wedding. A friend of ours bought us a gift, but didn't put the card with it, and there just so happened to be another gift from another guest right by it in the same wrapping paper. So naturally, we thought they were all together. It wasn't until my friend brought up the topic that we realized the mistake. I was then able to thank her. :)


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  • imagesgautschi:

    I would call her and first ask her how married life is going, then ask if he received your gift because you were concerned about the fact that you sent it to the apartment and not the work. No mention of thank you cards needs to be made, but you can still make sure the gift wasn't lost.

    All of this! Just say "Hey so I saw that you wanted gifts sent to your hubbys office and I sent mine to your apartment. I just wanted to make sure you did receive it?" And like Sgautschi said ask her how the married life is and don't even mention the thank you cards :)

    Let us know what happens! 

  • I have been to about 4 weddings in the last 4 years, and I have yet to receive any thank you cards. I think it is a nice gesture to send them out, but a lot of people don't make it a priority. I'd just call her and say you accidentally sent it to her apartment, that doesn't sound rude at all to me.
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  • Thanks guys! I'm actually going to make H call her since she's his friend. I'm a control freak, so I normally would take care of something like this myself, even if it was H's friend and not mine, but I don't know this girl very well at all. I've only met her a few times and it would be totally random and out of the blue for me to call her myself. But this morning I asked H to do it and he said he would. I'll let you all know how it turns out. Thanks again for the advice.

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  • You have a legit reason for asking that has nothing to do with the TY card thing. If it were me, I would definitely call. I'd say "Congrats again bride! I hope your day was awesome. I'm so sorry we couldn't be there. I just wanted to pop in real quick and make sure you got the card we sent you? I didn't see the request to send to grooms work until after I sent it and just wanted to make sure it made it's way to you?"

    If she seems sheepish about the TY card, I would say "no worries1 I know the first few months can be a whirlwind!"

    Best of luck to you!

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  • Update:

    H ended up texting her (not what I would've preferred, but he says it would've been awkward to call her since they never talk on the phone....I get it). Anyway he asked her if she ever got the GC and she said doesn't remember seeing it, but she'd check when she got home. She never text him again when she got home. What to do now?! 

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  • imageash273uk:

    Update:

    H ended up texting her (not what I would've preferred, but he says it would've been awkward to call her since they never talk on the phone....I get it). Anyway he asked her if she ever got the GC and she said doesn't remember seeing it, but she'd check when she got home. She never text him again when she got home. What to do now?! 

    Follow up with her on Sunday.  Chances are she got busy through the day and forgot to look when she got home.   

  • I say let it go. She's aware of the gift card's existence so there really isn't more you both need to do. Hopefully she finds it though!
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  • Funny story, I found an e-gift card in my spam email folder this past December! I just so happen to be looking in my spam file and saw something from Macy's in the subject line. I opened it up and it was from a married couple who are friends of my dad! 

    It is a good thing they wrote a personalized message that said congrats to me and my hubby (used our actual names ! ) or I might have thought it was a hoax!!

    That was 6 months after our wedding! It was emailed the day before we got married.

    My hubby and I got a nice electric throw (blanket) for the winter with it. I called my dad for the address but he wasn't sure. I have to call him back.

    Don't worry ladies, I sent out all of my other thank yous. Smile

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