When we first started dating, we did the whole getting to know you thing. Ever been married questions, etc. Told stories about our friends, etc. After we'd been intimate for a while I'd tell him things that I liked that turned me on and added to the experience. It never occurred to me that he was not sharing the same kinds of things about his turn-ons, etc.We got in to a fight one time where he pushed me for more details about my dating history, even though I was very uncomfortable with it, I caved.
Fast forward and he is so incredibly irritated that I told him any of these things. He says he wished I had lied to him about all of it and never said anything because he can't get my past out of his head. We're about 2 months from our wedding and recent fights have given me pause to this commitment. We had a fight where he practically called me a whore (well, he implied it). My past was breaking his heart everyday. He said it was something that I had to fix because if I talked about past friends, past experiences, anything past, he immediately thought of me with my exes.
While he agreed to work very hard towards learning how to cope and overcome these issues, he's asked me to not speak of my past. Even asked me to contact my family to make sure they do not have any photos of me with my exes (like from prom). And if they did and would not remove them, I should go destroy them myself. Well, they don't have those pictures up or around but I'm not going to destroy photos that my family has every right to. And now they're trying to talk me out of the relationship.
I can guess what the responses to this would be. To run. I really like to believe that this is something that we can get past given time. He refuses any kind of couples therapy or counseling, even though I have decided I need to go for some anger management issues on my own. I know that these boards do not provide validation, and that is not what I am seeking. I would, however, love to hear if any couples have successfully overcome something like this.