Family Matters
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Living away from family

Have any of you lived away from family?

Growing up I was very close to my family. My Husband and I moved about 1000 miles away from our hometown(s), for work. Within the move I left my car behind so we are sharing a vehicle. Needless to say I am Lonely and bored.

I there anything you have found inspiring being away from home?

We are renting in a small town with no real Job opportunities, and now that it is getting cooler I'm running out of things to do around the house inside and outside. 

I used to be a workaholic and had to leave my job for the move. Being a new at home wife Im not sure where to start.

Any stay at home wife ideas out there?

 

Just looking for inspiration and maybe an online friend. thanks for reading. 

Re: Living away from family

  • I would suggest volunteering. Maybe your nearby hospital on senior center. Also, if you are religious try out a few churches and find one you like. Church is a great way to make friends. If you have any hobbies that you love, such as knitting, reading, etc. Ask around if there are any groups in your area. Check with the library about reading groups, etc.

    Stay busy it will fight off the boredom and get out of the house, that is the way to make new friends. Good luck! :)

    Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. ~ Elizabeth Stone
    "Don't marry a man unless you would be PROUD to have a son exactly like him." ~ Unknown
  • Why did you leave your car behind?  Can you go and get it with a fun road trip?

    Do you have to live in the town you do?  Is there a more interesting city within commuting distance?

    I am surprised that your husband found such a great job (that allows you not to work) in a town that is so small.  

    Can you telecommute to a job similar to the one you had?  

  • We left my car behind because we didn't think it would make the trip. With moving we are trying to save up a good amount of money to move back home, then get me a car.

    My husband is a Wind Turbine Technician and the sites are usually in the middle of nowhere. We have found other towns that have more opportunities but want to save money. Ive applied for a job at a local Gas station but it was for a second shift job 5 days a week.

    We had about two weeks to pack up our lives and find a home 1000 miles away. We found the home we are in now by chance, there weren't a lot available. It's definitely has been a unique experience.  

  • I'm not a SAHW so I'm no help there but agree with the other ladies.

    As far as being away from home, MH and I live 4,200 miles from our hometown and respective parents. What I can say is that that's not home anymore; the one I have and share with my H is my home and he is my family. I think it would help if you focused on that while looking for constructive ways to fill your time.

    Start with a hobby of yours and see if it's possible to pursue it where you are. That's bound to bring you closer to other people and potential friends. Good luck!


  • I married into the Air Force and lived in Germany. If you want a car during the day, drive your DH to and from work. See if he can car-pool.
    [IMG]http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu52/Iluminespics/IMG_4759.jpg[/IMG]
  • I moved 5 hours away from my family as soon as I was physical able. I'm from a small town and have a ginormous family, i'm related to about 30 people in that town. Everyone knew my business, there was always some petty rivalry going on either between my aunts/uncles or my cousins, and I was constantly expected to join in to such things. I love my family, but that small town/big family thing left me feeling like I had no room to grow up. 

    Now that I live far away (i'm pretty much the only one who moved out of that town) some of them think i'm weird, but its SO much  better for me. I can go back home and visit, then leave and live my life without feeling stifled. Its now been 9 years since I moved away. The first year or two I had a rough time occasionally feeling like I was left out or missing out on my friends gatherings, and not seeing the people I grew up with and saw every day. but it was a necessary step for me to grow up and learn to take care of myself. 
  • book clubs, cooking classes, volunteering, part time job, local high school classes for whatever-language, yoga etc..

    you can drive your DH to work and then have the car for the day and then pick him up assuming he's at his office all day. there's no reason you have to just sit around at home. i'd want to blow my brains out if that were me. i'd be bored silly too :(

     also couldn't you take the bus or train or subway or buy yourself a cheap used car just to get around locally?

    Friday, December 28 2012. The day I had emergency appendix surgery in Mexico and quit smoking. Proof that everything has a good side!! DH and I are happily child-free!! No due date or toddler tickers here!! my read shelf:
    Alison's book recommendations, favorite quotes, book clubs, book trivia, book lists (read shelf) 
  • image kibskix:
    I moved 5 hours away from my family as soon as I was physical able. I'm from a small town and have a ginormous family, i'm related to about 30 people in that town. Everyone knew my business, there was always some petty rivalry going on either between my aunts/uncles or my cousins, and I was constantly expected to join in to such things. I love my family, but that small town/big family thing left me feeling like I had no room to grow up. 

    Now that I live far away (i'm pretty much the only one who moved out of that town) some of them think i'm weird, but its SO much  better for me. I can go back home and visit, then leave and live my life without feeling stifled. Its now been 9 years since I moved away. The first year or two I had a rough time occasionally feeling like I was left out or missing out on my friends gatherings, and not seeing the people I grew up with and saw every day. but it was a necessary step for me to grow up and learn to take care of myself. 

     

    Sounds like we are in the same boat. My Husband and I were married for about a year and a half before we moved. I spent a majority of my time with my family members. there is a small amount of rivalry but I just ignore it, which sometimes isn't the best, but life's to short to dink around. My grandparents raised me so I feel obligated to be with them and support them as they grow older. I miss them the most, I visited them frequently and helped my Grandmother clean her home, take her grocery shopping or even to the mall. She is my best friend and it's been hard to leave her. 

    I did feel stunted in the small town we were in, and I know my husband hated his job. But I enjoyed the homey feel of knowing everyone, but also used that as a crutch to not leave. Im glad we moved and are growing together but I miss my family very much.

     

    Thanks for the insight. 

  • Im not a SAHW (although I do work nights so it feels like it sometimes!) but I have lived far far away from family a few times throughout my life. Some things that helped me are: 1. getting involved in the community. Voluneer somewhere (SPCA, Kids programs, homeless shelters, with a local youth group or girl giudes group). Not just that though, get to know the people who work or volunteer there and invite them and thier family over for dinner or out for coffee or something to get to know them outside of JUST one setting so you can make some friends 2. making sure you still do things you like....for example if you used to go to the gym...find a new gym to go to, if you liked to do crafts, look in the paper/online for local groups that do crafting. 3. I would talk to my parents/family at least once a week (the long distance cards at the grocery store are usually cheaper then paying the long distance through the phone company). It helped me feel less isolated.
  • I have not experienced this personally, but I have had a few friends who have.

    One friend moved from the east coast to Chicago for her husband's job.  They knew that his position would last only 2 years.  She made the best of it, but she didn't really reach out to make new friends because she knew she'd be moving back.  Instead, she and her H devoted themselves to sightseeing and making as many road trips to things in and around Chicago as they could.  She is a physical therapist who had worked in pediatrics at home.  In Chicago, she took a position in a nursing home for a change of pace and to add to her resume.  

    Another friend moved about 400 miles away to the Research Triangle area of NC, in a move that she knew would be long term.  She had a work-from-home job when she moved, and she buried herself in work for the first six months.  Then it dawned on her how burnt-out and miserable she was, sitting inside her house working all day.  She knew something had to change.  She and her H joined a church and became youth group leaders.  She joined a running club.  They made a concerted effort to get together with people from his job and with people they met in the neighborhood.  Now, 5 years later, they have a large group of friends and are very happy.

    The third friend moved from New England to the DC area to be with her boyfriend.  She also had a work-from-home job, and she felt isolated and lonely at first.  Her hobby was knitting, so she got a job in a yarn store.  That way she met other knitters and got discounts on knitting supplies!  Some of her best friends today are ones she's made through knitting groups. 

     

  • I have lived 8.5 hours away from my family for a long time now. For the most part, I keep myself busy with crafts and Pinterest. I also like to call them every so often so that I don't feel so alone.
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