So, I am going to make a super long story as short as possible without leaving out key info. Hubby and I have been married almost 5 months. We were together for 7 1/2 years prior to the wedding. He has recently (over the last month or so) been increasingly distant-he blamed it on work stresses when I have asked what's up, and assured me it was nothing to do with me. He also started going to the bars with his co-workers with increasing frequency. On Thursday night/Friday morning (a week ago) he came home at 4:45 AM. He was out with co-workers in town from Japan. I teach, and during my lunch break I had to e-mail him about a few things. I added in the e-mail that I would like to talk to him later that night about the extensiveness of his going out and to see if we could come up with some ground rules together. A few minutes later I get an e-mail that says he is going to visit his dad in Virginia because he needs to think about some things before we talk.
So he gets back on Sunday night. He says he is unhappy with us, in our marriage. He said he didn't know why, or how long he had been feeling like this. He had no answers for me. I felt like my world and everything I knew was crumbling around me.
Monday, he agreed to see a counselor by himself, and at some point we will go together for marriage counseling.
My question to this group of people is how do I make it through the pain of knowing he is not happy and the pain of the drinking issue that he wont stop (he went out again tonight, but wants "points" because he was home 5 minutes after the agreed upon time). The "D" word (divorce) is not an option. So, does anyone have wisdom on to which I can lean in order to make it through the healing process once it begins?