Little backstory - husband is an only child. His Mom's parents are the only grandparents that are still living. He has one aunt (Mom's sister), she has no children and lives with the g-parents. In past years (prior to marriage) my family has hosted Thanksgiving and inivited my ILs. They have come, had a wonderful time, etc. Since then my husband's grandmother has become ill, she can't travel, be out of the house for too long, etc.
Now Thanksgiving is rapidly approaching. My FIL sent me and my husband an email asking us to call him to discuss Turkey Day plans, implied he'd like us to do it with husband's grandparents and aunt this year, I'm assuming at their home (since Grandmom can't be out for extended periods of time).
Now, my family always hosts Thanksgiving, and it's a much larger affair. We generally have 15 people or so. I personally love Thanksgiving with my family and don't really want to miss it. In order to maximize the holiday and see as many people as possible, I think it makes sense to celebrate Thanksgiving with the ILs on the Saturday or Sunday after. Problem is, his parents go out of town... Every Weekend, pretty much without exception (meaning yes, they would and HAVE missed get togethers, holidays, etc). This is actually a long running point of contention with the ILs. We always get guilt tripped about never seeing them. But they are out of town (i.e. 90 miles away) every weekend. Weekends are when most people are free!?!
So if his parents refuse to celebrate on the weekend, should I just suck it up and go? I feel a little selfish. His grandmother is sick and we don't know how much longer she has. But being around them all is taxing. His aunt is not exactly nice to me (she's implied I "don't give her the time of day" because I don't call her, I often feel she tries to compete with me on who is more important/knows husband better, etc). No one on that side gave us a card for our wedding which was a little hurtful - I don't blame the sick grandmom or her 96 year old husband, I think the Aunt had something to do with that.
So... thoughts? Be honest. Thanks
Edit - it's also not an option for my parents to host T-Day any other day. Since there are so many people in attendance, I think it makes most sense to celebrate with ILs another day (5 people versus 15... it's a lot easier to switch days when less people are involved.)