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M-I-L Invasion

I have an over-bearing and intrusive mother, and now my MIL is doing the same thing!!!  She won't stop sending me texts and emails and wants a daily relationship.  I can't deal with my own mom in my business and now this!  I need major help so I don't lose it on my MIL, or worse, my husband.  Any advice???  

Re: M-I-L Invasion

  • Perhaps she thinks she's being friendly, perhaps she has a lot of time on her hands.

    Here's what you do: Give her a call or take her out to coffee and say, "I appreciate the texts and emails but to tell you the truth, I don't have time to answer them all. How about I call you once a week and we chat and catch up on news -- sound good?"

    See what she says to that. Once a week to talk to the MIL is fine.  She shold be okay with this. Let us know how you make out; GL
  • What Tarpon said
  • You don't have to respond every time she tries to contact you.  Let her text and email you- get back to her at your own convenience.
  • image renegade gaucho:
    You don't have to respond every time she tries to contact you.  Let her text and email you- get back to her at your own convenience.

    This. My MIL is retired and in her words "always wanted a daughter"...well tbh I already have 2 mom's I don't need a third person who needs to be in constant contact with me (I love my mom and my bm but they don't even need me to talk to every day like mil would like). Between H and I we have successfully dodged giving her my number for 2 years now...she asks constantly but we brush it off, or say, well when you have your phone on you, or something. She has the house phone, but with caller ID I don't answer it so she only gets to talk to us when H is around so I can pass the phone off after a couple minutes.

    Don't answer and take your time to get back to her, she will either take a hint and back off or she'll get mad and confront you about it. If she confronts you I actually see it as a good opportunity to say "I love you MIL but honestly it works better when (fill in with what does work for you.....maybe if she calls on a specific day of the week, or only between 6-7, or maybe if you can compromise and go out for coffee with her once a month, or that you prefer txts to calls or whatever)...

    It is going to take some compromising on your part too though!

  • Thank you all for your great advice!  I know I have to give in a bit too, and I'm working on that. I hate to complain about having people in my life who love me, I know I'm very lucky to be so accepted and welcomed by my husband's family. It helps to have this forum, and a way to get it off my chest without blowing up on my loved ones!  
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