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The worst feeling ever

The worst feeling ever is when your ex with whom you shared 10 years of your life publicly rips you apart :(   I don't think he's realized how much he hurt me.  I feel like I gave so much of myself and made so many sacrifices throughout those years and this is what I deserve?  Now I just want to completely leave my past behind and start fresh. 

 How can I get rid of this resentment?  How can I forget that I ever met him?  I wanted to end things on a good note and at least cherish those good memories. I don't know how its possible when he's been saying nothing but unpleasant things.  I couldn't that to him.  But now I just want to forget him and forget I ever met him.

Re: The worst feeling ever

  • If you don't mind sharing, what exactly did he do? 

    Either way, you gotta think about YOU.  If he wants to be jackass and "rip you apart" let his sorry ass do it.  Take solace in knowing you are better off and are on to bigger and better things.  Whatever happened, eventually it will blow over and you will move on.  Keep your chin up, keep your dignity.  Seriously, you will look back on this in a few months - maybe years - and you won't care, not one iota.

  • I forgot everything he has said but he's said a lot of negative things.  That I'm a big regret, waste of time, had an opportunity to be with another girl etc.  I think he's bitter about what happened.   I've wrote him two nice friendly emails before wishing him all the best. He doesn't respond.  No matter what I do or say, I'm like a horrible person to him :(  I just feel so stupid for trying to make things better and he takes everything the wrong way.

     

    This is part of the reason, I decided to end our engagement.  I felt like there were all these unrealistic expectations.  It just seemed like he didn't think I was good enough with the constant criticism.  I started to wonder why would he want to be with me if all he focuses is on the negative.  I had a gut feeling I wasn't making the right choice and so many doubts. I really love him but I don't want to care anymore, not one bit.   

     

     

  • All things considering, wow, you were too easy on this guy!

     2 nice friendly emails?? I give you a lot of credit. 

    You did the right thing by saying goodbye. Sorry for your troubles.
  • May I assume that this "public" way of ripping you apart is over Facebook or something?  Just block and delete him from your friends list.  And for pity's sake, stop talking to him, even over e-mail.
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  • He's got the opportunity to be with another lady?

    Great....

    DO hold the door open for him so that he can partake of his opportunity.
  • If he was contantly critical of you when you were together, why on earth would you think he would be polite to you after you break up?

    I'm sorry this is hard, I know it has to be. You get over caring by not keeping tabs on what he has to say about you. By putting one step in front of the other. By doing new things, and also doing things that you used to do with him on your own. By giving yourself a pat on the back when you've gone a day without crying, then two days, three, a week, a month etc. By developing new relationships. In general, just getting on with your life.

    You're not going to be able to change him or what he's saying, but you can control how it makes you feel by NOT feeding into it. Best of luck!

    Break cycle BFP on 11/6/12 after 17 cycles and a failed IUI - TTC/BFP details in bio
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    Nestie Bestie with the lovely RockABye
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  • The best thing you can do is go no-contact with this guy. Quit trying to email him, take him off your FB, and both of you move on. You cannot be friends with him, so don't even try.
    Pregnant with #4... It's gonna get real image
  • I second this.

     With an ex I had that used those critical/harsh words to be manipulative, when we ended things, I paid the extra $5/month to my cell phone carrier to block his number with a family control feature. It prevented me from dialing out. Yes, I could have changed it when I wanted, but that took more time and gave me more time to rethink contacting him. It also prevented him from contacting me. All this allowed me to move on because whenever he contacted me before when we were on the splits, I started to hurt and be guilty again.

    So do all that you need to in order to stop yourself from contacting him and vice versa. It will give you time to breathe.

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Sweetheart,

    Sometimes you just can't be friends with your ex. Just remember this:  He is an ex for a reason!  He did his public ripping on you, because he is still grieving over the loss of you and your relationship.

    Time heals all wounds.  Not sure how long it has been. but try not to contact him by email, phone or face. 

    I left my ex husband 2 years ago.  We are now cordial to each other.  We can now wish each other happy birthday.  However, on my birthday, he took it upon himself to tell me how upset he was to see me goto the beach with my boyfriend, go to a dance club with my BFF. Basically he was upset that I was happy and moving on with my life without him.

    Enjoy your life without him.  Someone sweeter and more loving is waiting for you!

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