January 2012 Weddings
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The great telling the parents debate.

DH and I cannot agree on this and its seriously annoying me. My mom wants us to go to Disneyland with her on Saturday night. Part of me wants to tell her then because I know shes going to want to go on some of the rides that I wont feel comfortable going on.

DH says if we tell her Saturday then we need to tell all the parents this weekend. I do not agree. I think we should tell his parents after our appointment on Wednesday. He thinks that isn't fair and I told him I would totally understand his point if I was saying we need to wait weeks before we tell his parents, not days. My justification is partially the disneyland thing and is partially hello! Its my mom, I'm her baby! And I'm a mama's girl, I need to talk to my mom about this stuff. Ok, and its killing my sister that she has to keep remembering not to say anything to mom lol. We tell our mom just about everything.

What are your thoughts on this?

Lilypie - (2f9f)Lilypie - (y2el)
Daisypath - (30fE)

Re: The great telling the parents debate.

  • Can you tell her and tell her not to say anything to your DH, and don't tell DH that you told her? Tell him you guys will announce it to all the parents on Wednesday after the doctor's appointment. This is something I would do, but I'm sneaky like that, lol.

    If I test positive tomorrow I'm telling my mom right away but we will probably wait on telling DH's family. They are so judgemental and we won't want to hear, "How can you afford a baby!" That will make us mad. Plus, Saturday is MIL's 70th birthday party and I don't want to take the spotlight off her. I know I'm talking like I already got a positive. I need to stop this talk before I get my hopes way up.


    Married the love of my life on 1-21-12. Our princess arrived on 5-28-13.
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  • We had this debate for about 10 minutes tops.  I just flat out said I was Face-timing with my mom to tell her. Big Smile

    Honestly we were going to wait until after our first appointment but it was more than a week away and my sister was texting me asking if I'd taken a pg test.  I knew if I told her and not my mom, there'd be crazy drama.  Hubby said if I was able to tell my mom, he was telling his.  Not a problem since it was the 4th of July and we were having dinner at her house.  Me refusing the glass of wine she always offers would have tipped MIL off about it.

    Now for your situation, of course tell your mom on Saturday.  I wish I could have done mine in person.  As for DH, is he wanting to call them or will you be able to tell them in person too?  To me in person is so much better but not always a possibility.  I can see where he's coming from, it's his news too and he's probably just as excited to share it as you are.   So my vote is telling in person.  If he can do that this weekend, then totally cool.  If he can't, how long will it be before he can?

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  • His dad and step mom can be told in person.... we live with them. I've been a crazy fool hiding stuff in the trash. His mom we can tell in person as well. I am not looking forward to telling her at all. She's going to say we cant afford it and we are not ready simply because she isn't ready. I just really dont think she's going to be over the moon excited. I know step mom-in-law and my mom will over the mood excited.

     I'm going to talk to DH one more time about it tonight and see what he says.

    Now... how to find a cute way to break the news....

    Lilypie - (2f9f)Lilypie - (y2el)
    Daisypath - (30fE)

  • Hopefully his mom reacts more positively.  I was worried about that reaction from some of our family as I'm still in school and we just got married, ect.  But if they think it, so far they haven't mentioned it to either of us.

    If not, at least you know you'll have awesome support from everyone else.  I forgot you lived with you FIL and step MIL.  So many cute ways to tell people.  In the end, we just said it.  LOL.  I even bought a cute card for DH to tell him but I ended up bouncing on the bed to wake him up and tell him.  

    You could do pink and blue balloons with a pacifier holding them tied together.  Or a cake.  Ohhh, or a cute shirt.  There are a lot of cute shirts out there. If you could talk DH into that, maybe he could wait until Wednesday so you could order a shirt?  

     

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  • I think it's only fair that he should be able to tell his parents if you're going to tell your parents.
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  • I understand completely your reasoning for wanting to tell your mom this weekend. But I get the feeling you'd want to tell your mom this weekend even if you weren't going to disneyland :p And I'm sure in DH's mind, when you say "hello! It's my mom, I'm her baby", he's thinking he's his parent's son too. He may not want to play favorites over the grandparents already, and maybe consciously or subconsciously is worried that this is the start of it. I am voting for if you tell your mom this weekend, he should be able to tell his parents too :)

    That being said, in my situation, I would tell my parents right away and tell them not to tell anyone. And we would wait until AT LEAST after the first appointment and maybe even after the first trimester to tell J's parents. They will be very excited to have another grandchild (it would be their 5th), but his mom has no filter. Whenever she has big news, she mass texts EVERYONE including family on the east coast. For example, J's old sister, boyfriend, and two kids (3yo and 5 months) are living with MIL and FIL. She's been searching for some little house to move in and was trying to put an offer on one. We got a mass text saying that she put an offer, how much they were spending on it, when they could get it, etc. She even said the money details. So in our situation, we tell MIL when we want the whole world to know. I'm not sure if there are any other reasons for you not wanting to tell his parents, but I think he's feeling a little left out for his parents
     
    Sorry that was so long O_O 
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  • image shellmaneth:

    Hopefully his mom reacts more positively.  I was worried about that reaction from some of our family as I'm still in school and we just got married, ect.  But if they think it, so far they haven't mentioned it to either of us.

    If not, at least you know you'll have awesome support from everyone else.  I forgot you lived with you FIL and step MIL.  So many cute ways to tell people.  In the end, we just said it.  LOL.  I even bought a cute card for DH to tell him but I ended up bouncing on the bed to wake him up and tell him.  

    You could do pink and blue balloons with a pacifier holding them tied together.  Or a cake.  Ohhh, or a cute shirt.  There are a lot of cute shirts out there. If you could talk DH into that, maybe he could wait until Wednesday so you could order a shirt?  

     

     

    Haha more "positively". Yay she's pregnant!!!! :p 

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  • If we were not going to Disneyland I would probably be able to hold out until Wednesday to tell her. My only reason for telling her this weekend is shes going to think it's awfully strange that I'm not going on some of my favorite rides.

     Thank you so much for everyones advice on this! I really do appriciate it!

    Lilypie - (2f9f)Lilypie - (y2el)
    Daisypath - (30fE)

  • image Am12712:

    If we were not going to Disneyland I would probably be able to hold out until Wednesday to tell her. My only reason for telling her this weekend is shes going to think it's awfully strange that I'm not going on some of my favorite rides.

     Thank you so much for everyones advice on this! I really do appriciate it!

    Awww, I sympathize about the rides part.  SIL is wanting to take her oldest to our local 6 flags place next weekend.  She asked MIL to either come with to watch the baby or stay home and watch the baby.  I want to go, but I know I wouldn't be able to ride most of the fun stuff.

    Ohhh, can you get a baby mickey mouse ear hat to announce?? Not sure that's your cup of tea, but it'd be cute. 

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  • That's a really great idea Michelle! They embroider names on the back, I could see if they could put June 2013 on the back.
    Lilypie - (2f9f)Lilypie - (y2el)
    Daisypath - (30fE)

  • image Am12712:
    That's a really great idea Michelle! They embroider names on the back, I could see if they could put June 2013 on the back.

    I love this idea.


    Married the love of my life on 1-21-12. Our princess arrived on 5-28-13.
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  • image TaraW1979:

    image Am12712:
    That's a really great idea Michelle! They embroider names on the back, I could see if they could put June 2013 on the back.

    I love this idea.

    Awesome idea! 

  • I love this idea, wasn't sure what it was at first though because I accidentally blocked Michelle!

     If you do this, please show us a picture! Hope you are having fun!

     

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  • I am probably too late, but I would tell her.

     

    Let us know what you decided to do!


  • Ha ha way late to comment but I love that you could get one embroidered. 
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  • We told all the parents and both DH and I are alive and breathing!

    We first told FIL and Step MIL. I bought them some coasters that have phrases on the edge and you can put a picture in the middle. They alreay have some picture coasters so I knew it was perfect. I used the "bundle of joy" coaster and put arriving June 1 2013 in the picture area. When they got home I told them when we were out shopping I found something perfect for them that I had to get. So I gave them to SMIL. It tooker he a minute and as soon as it clicked she goes Oh Sh*t! No, No, OMG, No way! She was so excited! When FIL saw it he had a huge grin and did a little happy dance. The funniest part was 2 seconds after it happened SMIL told us how they reacted, as if we weren't standing right there lol.

    Next we told my mom. For her I purchased a Grandma and Me book, along with 2 of my favorites growing up, The Pokey Little Puppy and The Sailor Dog. On the card I put "You better start brushing up no your reading Grandma! I'm arriving June 1, 2013!" I told her I got her a gift for completing her first week at work. She read the card and laughed at the first part and as soon as she saw the due date she said "Sh*t!" and started crying. She was like oh my god I so was not expecting this! She repeated that about 10 times. She is over the moon happy and has already been price checking baby items. I told her she needed to wait a few before actually buying things.

    Yesterday we told SFIL and MIL. We were a little worried about this one because we just never know how MIL is going to react. This past week was SFIL's birthday so we got him a birthday card and said Happy Birthday Grandpa! Love DH, Me, and Baby due June 1, 2013. He got a big grin and went wow, really?! He then passed the card over to MIL, she read it and went "oh f*ck" and kinda laughed. And then she said, you should have waited! DH asked why and said said because you need to do this, this and this and DH said well we have done all of that. She couldn't argue about it. Overall her reaction was better than I had expected. She offered to give us the cradle that DHs grandfather hand made, which is awesome.

    Ok this got super long....so to sum it up it seems as though everyone is happy!

    Lilypie - (2f9f)Lilypie - (y2el)
    Daisypath - (30fE)

  • Yay!  So glad you got positive (or at least mostly positive) reactions.  Both your FIL/SMIL and Mom's reactions cracked me up.  My mom has been looking at stuff too, but she agreed to hold off until finding out what the sex was.
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  • I am glad it was a positive experience!!! All of your ideas were so cute!
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