Relationships
Dear Community,

Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.

If you have questions about this, please email [email protected]

Thank you.

Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.

Replies

  • I am the original poster.  To update you all with what happened, I went to my doctor, was tested, and found positive for all high risk strands of HPV.  The Dr said there was a slight possibility there was residual HPV from my last boyfriend, but I broke up with him in August 2011 (also for lying/cheating) and was tested in October 2011, so wouldn't the HPV have gone by then after the colposcopy? When I confronted my fiance about this, he remained strangely calm and told me he would give me all of the support I needed, but would not answer my questions if he did not use condoms in the past with his past partners. I had asked several times to see a copy of his STD results, and he refused to show me, but said that he was negative and I needed to trust him. If he refuses to show them to me, obviously he's hiding something! It made no sense.

    The final straw was when my adoptive mother passed away earlier this week, and although I begged him to come with me to the funeral for support, he said that he had to work.  He sent me very flowery texts that "he is always there with me even if not physically there, blah blah," which were ok but still didn't make up for the fact that he deserted me at my worst time. Once that happened, I knew things were over for good.  I know that I shouldn't have done this, but I looked into his phone and saw that his MOTHER had written an email to him which was the exact text he had sent me! So she was feeding him information on what to say to me all along. When I confronted him with this, he flipped out, began screaming, threw his phone against the wall and broke it.  I ran to the closet to try to quickly pack my things and he cornered me there. I was afraid he would hurt me.  He took my suitcase and either kicked it or threw it so everything fell out.  I took the ring off and placed it on the counter, saying it was over.  I was shaking and ran to the door, where he followed me, and as if nothing had happened, said, "come here, let me hold you." I told him not to touch me and ran out the door.  Haven't heard from him since.  He still has my key so I'm afraid I need to change the lock. I have an appointment with another doctor closer to me on Tuesday to confirm all of this information about the HPV, if it's really from him, and what to do. I'm so scared.

    Additionally, when my ex Fiance accompanied me to my old gyno up north a few weeks ago, he waited in the waiting room while I explained to the doctor about the Rx for the warts medicine and the paper I found.  She said it was questionable and wanted to speak with him.  When I went into the lobby to say, "the dr would like to speak with us," he panicked.  Suddenly stood up and said, "I have to go. Something came up at work (he hadn't been there in 2 weeks because of a medical issue)." and ran out of the office.  I followed him to the men's room and waited outside the door.  When he finally came with me, the doctor didn't even get a few words out about the warts issue when he began to scream at her, saying he didn't have anything, and that it was none of her business.  It was so embarrassing.  When I returned last week for a follow up, she asked why I was still with him, and that she got the sense he was hiding something.

    I tried to give him the benefit of the doubt but as everyone noted, there were too many red flags, and I can't stand even white lies. Please wish me luck that the HPV will be cured and if anyone has any knowledge, to share whether it's likely ex Fiance who gave it to me.  Thanks all.

  • It's a sad ending for me because I used to think he was the one and had loved him. He wooed me like a proper boyfriend should, called frequently, took me to dinner, paid for my apartment, and spent a great deal of money on me to make me happy.  The thing is that money is not the most important thing to me - though nice. Honesty and fidelity were and I just am tired from all of the omissions/stories being changed/white lies. Sad Granted, we were together for only 6 months before he proposed.
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