Trouble in Paradise
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The List

Is anyone currently going through a divorce and had to make the list of common property you want to take with you? I'm having to make the list right now and email it to my attorney by 2pm. I hate doing this. I don't want a divorce. I cant believe my husband wants to throw away our marriage. Even when he is being hateful telling me how much he hates our marriage and doesn't want me anymore, I still care for him. He is the love of my life and I meant our wedding vows with all my heart. Now our marriage has come down to a list of what I want and what he wants. I miss the good times. The baseball games, the football games, holding hands together during church. My heart is broken.

Re: The List

  • I haven't personally been through a divorce (not married yet). I was 18 when my parents divorced. They made lists of what they wanted and the other party had to agree or they had to hash it out. My dad was told what he could and could not take when he moved his stuff out of my mom's house.

     I wish I had words to make everything better.

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  • I'm so sorry that you are going through this.  I've been through a divorce and it was the toughest thing I ever had to do.  I know you are going through a roller coaster of emotions right now and it will take some time to sort out.  Believe me in that it gets WAY better and you will look back and realize that this happened for a reason...you may not know it right now but you will.  I thought my life was over and I didn't know what to do...all the lawyer stuff was overwhelming and I just wanted my "happy" marriage back.  I will not lie, it is tough...but it really made me a much much stronger woman.  Now, I found the love of my life and I'm getting married in 2 weeks.  No way did I ever think I would get to where I am today but it is wonderful and all the pain I went through with my divorce is a distant memory.  Hang in there!!!!!  (((hugs)))

    As for "the list"...I was pretty lucky that my ex-husband did not want to fight over material things (for the most part) so it wasn't bad.  We just went room to room and I told him what I wanted and started writing it down.  He agreed to about 90% of what I was asking for.  Hopefully it is that easy for you as well.  Try not to sweat the "small stuff"....it's not worth getting in a huge fight over. 

    Best of luck to you and please let me know if you have any other questions.  As much as you still care for him...you can NOT trust him anymore.  It's time to protect yourself and never agree to anything without talking to your lawyer.  I know its hard but my ex started lying and being very sneeky through the divorce...I couldn't believe it but he became a different person.  So my advice...do NOT trust anything and write down everything you talk about, etc.  Protect yourself!!!!

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