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Bachelorette Party Fiasco

I am the maid of honor in one of my best friends upcoming weddings. She is a very close friend, and was also in my wedding party when I was married. She had a short engagement (about 3.5 months) and I threw her a bridal shower and also planned a bachelorette party based on what she explained she wanted at the very beginning of her engagement. I had emailed save the dates to the other bridesmaids for the bachelorette party to make sure the most important people could attend. At the bridal shower, which was a monthbefore the wedding, the bride told me that she had changed her mind and wanted a traditional, going out to bars and drinking bachelorette party instead of what I originally planned (and she had told me she was happy with). Because the original party was planned for a weeknight to include some out-of-towners, the date had to be changed to a weekend as all the bars here are deserted during the week. I talked to the bride about what she wanted and when she was available, and told her I would plan it. 


I again emailed the bridesmaids a plan to go out to dinner, shower her with lingerie and then go to a local club. I then got a call from the bride saying that the weekend I suggested wouldn't work because she forgot she would be out of town, and that she would prefer to go uptown then to the location I suggested, and was that okay?

I didn't want to upset the bride so I agreed to what she wanted and planned the party to her specifications. But because of the last minute change of plans, none of the other bridesmaids were able to help me at all, so I ended up having to plan and pay for everything. The bride wasn't trying to be controlling, but i am really upset with her. I planned two parties based on what she told me she wanted and she didn't like either of them, so ended up throwing her a party I didnt want to throw at all, and am still really mad about. Her wedding is in two weeks and I haven't mentioned any of this to her. I essentially just want to avoid her until I cool off.  I don't think I will talk to her about it until after the wedding, but any suggestions on how to approach her at that point?





Re: Bachelorette Party Fiasco

  • She was being controlling. There really isn't anything you can or should say to her now or after the wedding. Let it go and learn from it. Saying something will only make you look bad and make her feel bad and that may ruin your relationship.

    First, you accepted the role as the planner. Second, you went along with her each time she changed her mind...sorry, but the fault for the inconvenience to you is your's, not her's. If this was such an issue, you could have said any number of things...

    "Oh, we got the thing booked and there's a fee to cancel." "If we do this/them then so and so cannot come." "No, I cannot change this since I've put lots of work into it."

    Anyway, it stinks. Sorry.

  • Thanks for responding. You are right. Talking to her about it won't do anyone any good. I have just been so frustrated I needed to get it off my chest, and didn't want to complain to people who know her. So thank you for letting me do that!
  • I have had some difficulties with friends and can be a crazy time for everyone. If there is something on my mind, I usually wait until after the wedding and I am really ok with everything. At that point, I usually do mention if something has truly hurt my helps get it off my chest, and it doesn't worry the bride. This has worked for me. =)
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