A little disclaimer: This is an AE, of course, as you can see from the SN. I don't want this following me around...its not MUD, but it is horribly sensitive. Please spare the snark, even if you feel like I deserve it. This is already so, so hard for me. Adding insult to injury just wouldn't be good. TIA.
My mother has finally reached the verge of destruction and the decision as to how I should handle it (or not handle it) has been eating me alive for some time now.
And now, for the mess that has become our lives.
My mother is young....very young, actually....and she is already killing herself. She got hooked on heroin when I was about 13 years old. She disappeared for a long while until my grandfather and I found her living with a man who would later become her husband. My grandfather paid for her to go to rehab but she checked herself out two days later and it took a good week for the family to realize that she was MIA again.
She eventually came back into my life when I was 15. For some reason, my grandparents had me go live with her, despite the court order that said I was not allowed to unless she was clean and had attended a number of NA meetings. She hadn't fulfilled any of those requirements...but off I went, into the depths of hell.
8 months later, addiction returned with a vengeance.
She had been fired from her job as a regional manager (retail) because she had processed fake returns and pocketed the money which left her with 6 felony theft charges and 3 petty theft charges. The drug problem escalated and an alcohol problem was added to the mix. She stole from everyone, myself included and she started "dancing" for money. Finally, her father kicked her out of our house (he owned it) and I was left there alone, 16 years old, in the ghetto...just perfect.....
My house was raided three times because she had skipped her court date. She never returned.
So, she ends up in NY. She was dating a man that lived there (far less unsavory than the rest, thankfully) and had gone to live with him. Things seemed ok for a bit..but then, again, she went back into self-destruction mode with opiates and alcohol. She crashed her car twice because she nodded off behind the wheel. She still has the scars on her face. I drove there to see her and make sure she was ok, but still....I could tell that everything was not okay...but what could I do? I was only 17.
Over the next 2 years, I saw her a few times. She came home for Christmas and a few other holidays but it never turned out well. She got trashed before Christmas dinner so I had to drag her out of the house because I didn't want her to upset my grandmother with her belligerent words. A few days later, she was back in NY.
Since then, things have gotten worse. The guy she had dated had been letting her rent from him even though they broke up, but recently, he's decided to move (or he is just using that as an excuse to get her out...either way, I don't blame him). It came to my attention that she had gone into a world far worse than the one she had found at the strip club...if you know what I mean. I even found her "ads" on the internet.
Now that the guy has moved, she has nowhere to live. One of her friends told me that she had seen her sleeping in the park a few nights with her boyfriend (who apparently has issues w/ addiction as well). Its gotten to the point that I am afraid to answer my phone because I don't want to hear that she has been found dead. She's sleeping on a bench in the middle of the slums of NY. She's selling herself. She's doing drugs. Its almost inevitable that something terrible will happen to her.
I have debated calling the police and telling them where she is so that they can arrest her for skipping out on court and make her serve her sentence for stealing from her job...but I don't know if that's the right thing to do. She committed the crimes a few miles over the NY state line, so they would have to extradite and I don't know if they will. I also fear that they will let her go on bail, giving her the chance to disappear again...and this time, she'd probably never, ever come back to our home state. I'd never know what happened to her.
Is it time to turn her in? Or do I walk away? I don't know what else to do. I'm only 22, so I don't have the funds to get her back into rehab or to house her if she is released.
I am so lost. Any advice would be so greatly appreciated.