I love my mom. I really do. She has been a very strong role model in my life. But I feel like if my husband and I don't get ourselves as far away from her as possible, she's going to rule my life (and ultimately our family's lives) forever! Sounds like I'm exaggerating but I'm really not.
I just don't know what to do. I love my mom but even from 4 hours away, she still has a strong hold on me. When we first moved into the apartment we are currently living in, she bought us a queen sized mattress. It was $40 at an auction. Sounds great, right? Especially since up until then, we'd been sleeping on a futon. But not an hour after she told us she bought the mattress, she called again to tell us she'd bought us a headboard and a matching dresser with a mirror. This was $350 and she said we could pay her back once we had the money. We didn't even ask her to look for a mattress or dresser for us in the first place! So now, a year after, we still "owe" her for the dresser we never use and have been stressing out for the past few weeks on how to transport it to our new apartment.
I just don't know what to do. I've tried talking to her about it--actually talking, not yelling--and she always screams at me and says she's just going to abandon me completely instead of backing off just a little. I didn't want to cut her out completely but I feel like if she's ever going to learn to respect my husband and I for the adults we are, we've got to put some distance between us and her. I can't stress enough how much she's abused me and my husband both over the years, and now that we're married, there's no change!
I mean, my dad had a heart attack in January and not only did she not tell me about it (I had to find out from my little sister who acts as my mom's personal secretary), but she even went as far as accusing me of being the cause because wanting to get married was putting too much stress and drama on the family. This, of course, was all going on while Stephen and I were struggling to pay for the wedding ourselves because we didn't want any drama with our families.