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Need advice about sharing private life at work

About a month ago I posted about a situation and asked for advice.  My 22 year old son and his girlfriend are having a baby.  I was having a hard time sharing that with people at work.. because of some of the girls being catty and like to gossip, and the environement that I work in, some people are very nosy.  All the advice I got was great and I decided not to share this news with anyone at work.  I'm a private person to begin with, I don't talk much at all about my personal life. 

I do have a couple of concerns:  

1.)  My company summer picnic is next month at a baseball game. My son and his girlfiend who will be 8 months pregnant are coming with us.  There will also be other friend with us.   Although it will be chaotic and packed, there's a good chance I may bump into someone I work with.  

2.)  My son is facebook friends with a girl who's mom I used to work with and was friends with in another department... My son will probably post pictues on facebook after his baby is born, and this girl may tell her mom or show her pictures.  

My concern is that people talk... and the people I currenty work with may find out and wonder why I didn't say anything.  Am I being ridiculous not to say anything about my son to my coworkers?  I feel like if I tell them now, they would wonder why I didn't say anything sooner.  

 I am pobably a little crazy about this... but I am looking to get a perspective from someone who doesn't know.  

Thank you! 


Re: Need advice about sharing private life at work

  • A few thoughts.

    Are your CW's really going to care all that much about your son's PG girlfriend?  If it were about YOU, I'd see the gossip.  But I'm not sure why your son about to be a dad is fodder for gossip.

    Past that - in the end, your personal life is just that. YOUR personal life.  Don't over think it.  People see her?  "Oh, why didn't you tell us?!" - you just say "Oh, I just tend to keep quiet about my personal life" w/ a smile and then move on.  "we're so excited!", blah blah blah.

    On #2 - that's a huge stretch, to be honest.  Do you really, honestly think that you're life is that important to your CW's???  And if it is, then I'd start feeling sorry for them!  They clearly have NO life if your son having a child is really going to be a big deal.

    But in the end- the less you react to any of this, the less of a big deal it will be all together.  Just smile and say "I dont' like to talk about personal stuff at work", and comments like that.  ANd again- just move on. 

    "Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
    ~Benjamin Franklin

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  • It is what it is.

    I think he should post whatever he wants, so long as it isn't harmful or embarrassing to himself or other people.

    No matter where you go, you'll get cattiness and gossip and bullshit. Don't worry about those people and enjoy your grandkiddo.:)
  • I think you might be projecting your own feelings on your coworkers.

    Your son is 22, not 16. Someone of that age having a baby is not all that uncommon.

    Maybe people will talk, maybe not.

    image Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickers
  • I think if you felt less shame about the pregnancy, you'd feel a lot more confident and a whole lot less conserned about people knowing about it.

    Feel free to be delighted that you are having a new grandchild, even if s/he wan't conceived in the most ideal way.

    And as for talk and gossip, an unplanned pregnancy is hardly very interesting. And inviting an 8 month pregnant woman to a group get-together is hardly keeping it a secret. Let it go, it's a baby, it's okay if people know about it.

  • I think you are REALLY overthinking everything.  This is not something to agonize over!  Your son is 22!!! 

    If anyone says anything to you, I'd just say "yes!  My son is having a baby with his girlfriend - - I'm so excited to be a grandmother!"  If people asked why you didn't share, just tell them you like to keep your life private, or that it's really your son's news to share, or that you are a little bit superstitious. 

    You have never OWED a co-worker any details about your private life (or your son's private life).  But I would NOT act anything less than thrilled.  If you act like this is anything but a blessing, then your co-workers will assume there is something shameful.

    And if you work with people THAT judgemental, it's time to find a new job!  Who wants to spend 40+ hours with people that judgey?  I hope you are just paranoid.

  • Why on earth are you bringing a 22 year old son to work events?!
  • CuaoCuao member
    Fourth Anniversary 10 Comments

    ReturnOfKuus, it's a family picnic.  And my son loves baseball!  Smile

    Thank you all for your input!  I wish I wasn't so reserved.  

    My only concern is people at work finding out and wondering why I didn't say anything.  Good advice everyone!

  • image susiederkins:

    I think you might be projecting your own feelings on your coworkers.

    Your son is 22, not 16. Someone of that age having a baby is not all that uncommon.

    Maybe people will talk, maybe not.

    This.  You are worried about what your CWs will think because YOU have mixed feelings about your son's situation.  Of course you do!  Your his mom, this probably isn't what you had in mind for him at 22, you're worried about his and the child's future, etc.  You may even be feeling some guilt -- didn't I raise him better than this? -- about the whole thing.  I think that's pretty normal. 

    But you're the only one (short of the girlfriend's mom, possibly) who has this outlook on it.  Don't confuse your feelings about this with the general population's. 

    In their eyes, there are far more "gossip-worthy" topics than the son of a co-worker being a stand-up guy and becoming a father.  There are so many examples of young men NOT doing the right thing that your son's situation is unremarkable.

  • CuaoCuao member
    Fourth Anniversary 10 Comments
    Thank you Neverblushed.  That is very true,       
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