I grew up in a very stressful household. My parents divorced when I was one, and my mother remarried when I was 3years old. For a better part of my childhood and teenage years my mother and stepfather argued with each other. Full out screaming matches sometimes. He was incredibly verbally abusive to all of us. My mother would constantly threaten to leave him and all of that. For about 4 years she used to tell us every day that she would leave him. Which I don't think is a really healthy thing to put on your child. Anyways, needless to say I did not grow up with very great role models on relationships.
Being in a 6 year relationship with my hubby, we have a baby. I find it hard to communicate with him without getting defensive. I think it has a lot to do with all of the negative criticism I received from my stepfather growing up. I don't want to make excuses, but I truly never learned how to have a healthy conversation without getting upset. I want to go into relationship counselling to help learn better ways to communicate with him. And also to help me work through the issues from my childhood.
My husband however has the mentality that if we can't fix it ourselves, there is no point in fixing anything. I feel like having a neutral party would benefit us and give us pointers on how he can better talk to me so I don't feel cornered and how I can handle my defensive attitude. [I have explained all of the above to him in my reasons for going to a counselor]
Does anyone have any helpful advice on how I can make him understand this could be beneficial for our relationship? I would really appreciate it.