Hi All! I need your advice. I have been married almost 3 years and my husband and I live in NYC, his mom and siblings live in FL. To make a long story short, he lived in FL before we got married however he could not find a job their and it became OUR financial ruin, we went through foreclosure of his house and a bankruptcy shortly after getting married.
NYC has got us back on our feet, he had a full time job for a while, then we decided it was better for him to go to school full time and work part time so he could get that out of the way and start a career. I work full time with a salary that sustains, us, maybe its not enough to live large, but enough to get by.
I love my in laws but my issue is that they can be very controlling and they always need to get their way. My husband is like putty in their hands, he can be such a mommas boy! Sometimes I feel like he puts their needs before ours. In May his mother called him because she needed his help to move and he actually flew to FL to help her move and cancelled his summer class! He wasted time he could have been in school or worked; he drives taxi, he does not get money unless he works, which is basically pennies anyway to go to FL and he had to waste a lot of money for a last minute flight there.
A few minutes ago he calls to tell me his sister has gallstones she needs surgery and he wants to go to FL, im not trying to be insensitive but usually these surgeries are laproscopic. I told him to wait after the surgery and if he still wants to go then we will book him a flight. These surgeries are usually not that serious, i do not think it warrants us using the last of our savings to book a flight. Im not trying to be mean, but im the one making the money, paying the bills and its so annoying he keeps spending it on his mom and sister! he barely makes enough to pay for gas and groceries. I dont know what to do any more. then just now he tells me, why dont we move to FL! Seriously! I do not want to move to FL, I will never make the money I make here. I have student loans, a loan to my mother, and car payment. He does not have a college degree so school would have to be put back again and we would go through the same cycle again! I cant take it. He says if we move he wont have to keep traveling, seriously I know people who are married and live in other states as their parents and do not visit as much. My grandfather lives in Canada and when he gets the flu my mother does not pick up and go to Canada. My husband fails to see he has responsibility to me, to OUR family. He acts like he needs to be the man of the house for his mother and sisters house! They both have boyfriends. Let them take care of it!
I am so annoyed right now. I do not know what to do, and how to get him to see reason, we cannot afford for him to keep going when they call. He needs to man up and realize I am his family. I understand he misses them but seriously we dont have the money for him to keep doing this.
What do you think I should do? Any advice appreciated.