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Him, im 22 yrs old and has been married for 4 years this october. We are happy together we've gotten over the bickerng stage but i just seem like we've hit a dead end. He works long hours 5-6 days a week and that causes us not to havve as much quality time together. what could i do to spark thingss up again in the little time that we do spen together?

Re: Stuck

  • I don't know.  Married at 18 would make me feel stuck, so I have trouble relating to this enough to give advice.  Judging by the lack of other responses, I'm guessing so does pretty much everyone else.
  • I don't think getting married young is necessarily a reason to feel stuck, it sounds like it's just the OP's current life situation. (For the record, I got married at 21, which is extremely young compared to most people I know, and I definitely don't think age is the main cause in any type of marriage rut because there's a difference between age and maturity.)

    As for the quality time thing, does your husband know you feel this way? Making sure you're both on the same page is a huge first step. For example, quality time is a really big deal to me, and I'm also fairly introverted. My husband hunts and fishes a lot and is occasionally out of town for work over a weekend, so I oftentimes need to let him know if I feel like we're not spending enough time together. Otherwise, I get emotional and easily upset and he doesn't understand why because he shows me he loves me in other ways and doesn't realize anything is wrong from my point of view. Sometimes I'm even able to head it off (especially during hunting season when I know he'll be gone for several weekends in a row) and we can set up date nights for when he will be home. 

    Usually once I've let him know I'm feeling a little neglected, we'll have a movie night or cook dinner together (we're not big on going out, but you and your husband should set aside time to do whatever you like to do!). Sometimes it's even just as simple as deliberately picking out a morning to sleep in together. It's really just about both of you making an effort. Sometimes all the difference in the world is made because you spent an evening cooking and being playful with each other rather than bickering over the bills. 


  • I got married young too - a long time ago.  Marriage has ups and downs.  Think about some things you like, talk to dh about what he likes.  Plan and make your marriage a priority - this is the time to build a firm foundation - when kids come you need things to be as stable as possible.
  • nsfwnsfw member
    Anal saved my marriage.
  • My hubby was working 6 days a week, long hours, and it was pretty tough.  It felt better when we started planning dates for his days off.  Even if it's as simple as going for a long walk and out for coffee.  You need to make that time memorable, so it doesn't pass by in the blink of an eye.  Also starting some type of routine on the days he works, so you have at least a little time every day together.  Get up and have breakfast together.  Also, split up the chores proportionately to how much time you have at home, and do them as much as possible when the other is not home, so you're precious time together is not spent doing housework.
    BabyFetus Ticker
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