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I think my BF is bi-polar...

I have days worth of stories but I will spare you the details for now and just start by asking these questions...  

Has anyone ever dealt with a significant other who suffers from Bi-Polar Disorder or Erratic moodswings?

If so, what are the outcomes that you have experienced after he/she seeked therapy?

I think I have gotten myself into a nice little relationship over here ladies! I now need the therapy as well!

Re: I think my BF is bi-polar...

  • He needs to see a physician first and foremostly.

    Mood swings need not be caused by bipolarism.

    He could have diabetes or low blood sugar (both can cause erratic mood swings) or a thyroid problem --- also can cause mood swings, depression and erratic behavior.

    I think also that hormone problems can cause mood swings also.

    He neds a complete medical checkup and then an evaluation by a psychiatrist.

    If he won't see a doctor or refuses, don't stay with this guy. Move on. You don't need a guy who is not proactive about his health. Good luck.

  • My HTB was having severe mood swings and bi polarness ...my mothers bi polar so i know! well he went to the dr and he had high blood pressure, low sugar and some depression,,,the doctor put him on medicane for high blood pressure and depression and 2 weeks later OMG he is the man i fell in love with 2 yrs ago NOW DONT GET ME WRONG its not no miracle pill BUT it definately helped, alot of times theres an underlying issue or issues to his mood swings. Have you tried talking to him? if he says Nothings wrong , somethings wrong, but getting into therapy is a MAJOR STEP IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION!! 

    good luck and remember you both are in this together, maybe try goin to a session with him :)

  • image nipsnnibbles312:

    My HTB was having severe mood swings and bi polarness ...my mothers bi polar so i know! well he went to the dr and he had high blood pressure, low sugar and some depression,,,the doctor put him on medicane for high blood pressure and depression and 2 weeks later OMG he is the man i fell in love with 2 yrs ago NOW DONT GET ME WRONG its not no miracle pill BUT it definately helped, alot of times theres an underlying issue or issues to his mood swings. Have you tried talking to him? if he says Nothings wrong , somethings wrong, but getting into therapy is a MAJOR STEP IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION!! 

    good luck and remember you both are in this together, maybe try goin to a session with him :)



    All of these health issues are treatable and resolvable.:)

    His health is potentially at stake here. I don't know *what* kind of mood swings he's got -- if you could give more backstory, with examples, it would be great - but he needs to get to a doc for a full checkup and that is the top priority that should be on his agenda.
  • Yeah its pretty hard to be the SO of that person. My ExH was undiagnosed bi-polar, but even my psychologist said every thing i described abt him would fit a severly bi-polar, manic depressive person. He did a number on me...but I survived it and we got a divorce and now I am SOOO much happier.

    Also, he also thought it was not him...it was everyone else's fault...he was "completely normal" in his mind. So no therapy was needed for him (yeah right!!!)

    If you would like to talk abt this let me know...GL!!!

    TTC#2 with my hero, my inspiration, my United States Marine! Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Image and video hosting by TinyPic
  • Thank you so much for your advice! The thought that his health may have an impact on him mentally has never crossed my mind, so I will be sure to bring that up to him.

    A long back story: My BF and I have been together only a little over a year. We moved in with each other after only being together 6 months so as you could imagine little arguments would come about here and there regarding who does what chore, who pays what bill, etc. I would notice that whenever I would bring any issue or concern up, he would get very defensive and almost immediately shut down and either not want to talk about it, or storm off. This posed a huge red flag for me and at first, I would insist that we talk about whatever it was that needed to be addressed- right here, right now. Well, to make a long story short, what started out to be as little as "I would appreciate it if you would take the trash out before it starts over flowing.." would escalate into a heated argument very quickly. I would insist to talk about it, and he just "needed a minute to cool down". This would then turn into me nagging him to get him to talk, in which he would further shut down. It was so frusterating to me because I could not understand how something so small needs "cooling down" from. But as time progressed, we learned each others quirks and I would let him do just what he needed- to cool off. After learning that if I give him those 5 minutes to himself, he would come to me and sit down like a normal human being and calmly talk, very rationally and we would quickly figure out what needed to be addressed in the first plce, it would be over with and we would move on.

    Now, the reason that I am considering him to be "Bi-Polar" or something along those lines is because of how quickly he gets upset or angry over anything- big or small, it affects him the same. At first, he is a nightmare to talk to- only to be in a matter of minutes, calm, cool, and collected. It is to a point that when I see him start getting irritated or bothered, I have to be on egg shells around him in fear of setting him off. Also, after whatever anger-fit he was on, he doesn't recall the things he said or what he did- almost like "blacking out". I repeat the things he said, to him (of course, calmly) and he expresses to me that he is ashamed of what he has said and feels truly remorseful. It could be as little as a couple of weeks later, and the episode repeats itself.

    I have talked about this with him and to his parents (with him present) and both of his parents brought up the fact that Manic Depressive Disorder runs in the family and that he needs to seek therapy. My BF has agreed to go to a counselor and to take it from there. He has also been researching different mood behavioral issues and says that he can relate to what he is reading. Being that he does want help and is taking steps to get help as of now, I don't feel like leaving him is what I should do just yet, but of course if he doesn't follow through with the help and or things don't improve, I will not be continuing this relationship.

    Thanks again for the advice and if you have read this entire reply!

  • Yes he sounds very similar to my ExH. I can completely relate!!

    THANK GOODNESS he is doing research and trying to figure out too what is wrong and wants to go to therapy. My finace is also bi-polar but he takes Fanapt (Rx) to help stabalize his mood. If he runs out or misses a few days I can tell a change in him.

    GL to you and him and since he is willing to get help, that is a great sign!!!! :)

    TTC#2 with my hero, my inspiration, my United States Marine! Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Image and video hosting by TinyPic
  • my DH is bipolar. He was prescribed lithium which he never took, but had some success stabilizing his moods with therapy sessions.
  • A lot of the abusers I deal with claim to be bipolar in order to excuse abusive behavior.  Any truth to that for you?
    image "...Saving just one pet won't change the world...but, surely, the world will change for that one pet..."
  • image ReneeAdele1013:

    Thank you so much for your advice! The thought that his health may have an impact on him mentally has never crossed my mind, so I will be sure to bring that up to him.

    A long back story: My BF and I have been together only a little over a year. We moved in with each other after only being together 6 months so as you could imagine little arguments would come about here and there regarding who does what chore, who pays what bill, etc. I would notice that whenever I would bring any issue or concern up, he would get very defensive and almost immediately shut down and either not want to talk about it, or storm off. This posed a huge red flag for me and at first, I would insist that we talk about whatever it was that needed to be addressed- right here, right now. Well, to make a long story short, what started out to be as little as "I would appreciate it if you would take the trash out before it starts over flowing.." would escalate into a heated argument very quickly. I would insist to talk about it, and he just "needed a minute to cool down". This would then turn into me nagging him to get him to talk, in which he would further shut down. It was so frusterating to me because I could not understand how something so small needs "cooling down" from. But as time progressed, we learned each others quirks and I would let him do just what he needed- to cool off. After learning that if I give him those 5 minutes to himself, he would come to me and sit down like a normal human being and calmly talk, very rationally and we would quickly figure out what needed to be addressed in the first plce, it would be over with and we would move on.

    Now, the reason that I am considering him to be "Bi-Polar" or something along those lines is because of how quickly he gets upset or angry over anything- big or small, it affects him the same. At first, he is a nightmare to talk to- only to be in a matter of minutes, calm, cool, and collected. It is to a point that when I see him start getting irritated or bothered, I have to be on egg shells around him in fear of setting him off. Also, after whatever anger-fit he was on, he doesn't recall the things he said or what he did- almost like "blacking out". I repeat the things he said, to him (of course, calmly) and he expresses to me that he is ashamed of what he has said and feels truly remorseful. It could be as little as a couple of weeks later, and the episode repeats itself.

    I have talked about this with him and to his parents (with him present) and both of his parents brought up the fact that Manic Depressive Disorder runs in the family and that he needs to seek therapy. My BF has agreed to go to a counselor and to take it from there. He has also been researching different mood behavioral issues and says that he can relate to what he is reading. Being that he does want help and is taking steps to get help as of now, I don't feel like leaving him is what I should do just yet, but of course if he doesn't follow through with the help and or things don't improve, I will not be continuing this relationship.

    Thanks again for the advice and if you have read this entire reply!



    His problem is he's an immature jerk.

    Find yourself another boyfriend. THis guy isn't an adult; he's like a little third grader.

    Why do you need a guy who is not mature and cannot handle problems like a full grown adult? Ask yourself why you're willing to take damanged goods.
  • Thank you again for the responses! :)

    Tarpon, I have asked myself that plenty of times... and I agree that it would be easier to walk away from this relationship, like I have done so easily with my past relationships. I suppose that I am taking the route of therapy and couples counseling to help me make the decision of "do I stay, or do I go?". If we can work our issues out, I feel that we could be great.

    Just an update, I went to a therapy session on Saturday and gave a play by play of our arguments/fights and my therapist brought to my attention that I am constantly "pushing his buttons" and that most of our fights would be prevented if I would just back off him a bit and choose my battles. I have heard almost word for word him say the same things to me but being my stubborn self, I don't listen. It was an eye opener to hear it out of her mouth.

    My BF works very hard to make sure that all of our bills are paid and I am taken care of before he is, so I guess I have to give a little too. Maybe I will just start taking the damn trash out myself! LOL

    Today, I am at a better place with myself and my BF. I am hopeful that our relationship is not doomed and that counseling will offer the help that we need to learn to understand and communicate with each other better. We have a tough road ahead of us...

  • He needs to see a doctor.  I have a good friend whose husband is bipolar.  He is just fine when he takes his medication.  It can be managed but he needs to see a doctor to see if that is really the problem.
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