I know mother-in-laws every where do things to frustrate their daughters-in-law. Help me gain some perspective on mine, PLEASE!
My in-laws moved to Florida (from Ohio) in September of last year. This has been their dream for many years, and we (hubby, siblings, and spouses) supported this dream. My husband is the youngest child, but by far the most mature and the most sound financially speaking.
My mother-in-law's parents still live in Ohio (about 1 hour away from where we live). Almost two years ago, grandpa began to have a lot of health issues. My mother-in-law was the caregiver out of her 4 siblings (only my MIL and her oldest sister lived close enough at the time to be the caregivers). My MIL assured us that her sister would be the caretaker once they moved to Florida.
About a month ago around Easter, my husband informed me that my MIL was coming to Ohio to take grandpa to a doctor's appointment. I was in complete shock. Then, my husband informed me that he had PAID for my MIL's roundtrip flight to do this. I was furious. He had never consulted me about this purchase, and he constantly criticizes the way that I spend money. He apologized and things seemed to be fine.
While MIL was in Ohio, she reported that she would be driving to South Carolina from Ohio with her parents to spend Easter with her brother, then driving to Florida with her brother, sister-in-law, niece, nephew, and both of her parents for a few days. No big deal. She told us what day she would be returning to Ohio, and she was scheduled to fly back to Florida then next morning. At 10pm three days before she is expected, she calls my SIL to say she will be at our house the next day at 5pm. She never called me or my husband to report this. Thank God my SIL let us know! Again, I was upset. I work FT, I am going to grad school FT, I have a horrible back injury that prevents me from doing heavy housework (my mom and my sister often come to help me with this), my hubby works FT, and he goes to school FT.
Next day, MIL shows up to our house at 12pm, and she sounds like she has pneumonia (cherry on the sundae, right?!?). She never called. I was frustrated again. She has done this to us multiple times, even before she lived out of state. I just don't appreciated my time being disrespected like that. Hubby asked her to be respectful of our time and schedules and to call in advance in the future.
She called this weekend to say she will be visiting again in June. She is driving to Ohio, and she wants to stay with us. If I truly believed that she could be respectful of our time, I really wouldn't have a problem with it. This last incident was just so ridiculous and it is still so fresh that I'm having a hard time agreeing to it.
*Side note: My MIL always has a perfect home/always neat and clean. She has made comments to me about my SIL's house, her step-daughter's house, and her SIL's house. I feel like my house needs to be in tip top shape when she visits. Again this is hard because of my back injury and hubby NEVER helps. Most frustrating feeling in the world! *
My husband thinks I'm being unreasonable. I asked if she could stay with one of the other children or at a hotel. He thinks there is no room for her to stay with her other children and that she can't afford to stay in a hotel. Am I being unreasonable? I don't want to burn bridges with her, but she is so rude when it comes to respecting our time. Thoughts?