I took some time away from this board and then just lurked for a bit. I told my counselor what had gone down and she advised the time away. I have been seeing her since a yr after seperation which has been a total of 2.5 yrs. She knows everything about me and therefore I feel she has more room to give advice than the few pieces I've shared on here. So here is a little update:
I'm still talking with J who will be here June 2nd. DS will not be meeting him, my mom will take him when he gets in, then I'm taking that Mon and Tues off to spend time with him while DS is in daycare. He then PCS's to CO which we will be taking this long distance and flying ever so often until he gets out of the army and moves here.
DS's dad flaked again and was advised by both my counselor as well as DS's to cease contact because I'm forcing him in to something he obviously doesn't want which will end up blowing up on DS. Now if for someone reason DS asks to call him then they said to let him. This is what I went through the first yr of DS's life, I felt like I was chasing after him,"take the baby", "spend time with the baby", "be a dad". Married or not, he didn't want to be a dad to DS or his first son. He is more than willing to be a dad to his daughter and that is all he wants. As of yet, DS has not asked for him since. It's kinda like he knows he has a dad now but doesn't need him.
I can handle a good flaming because I've had many but what I was upset about and found very disappointing was that someone would stoop to saying I was screwing up my child.
There you have it. I really won't be on much at all for the next few weeks. I'm leaving for a conference out of town today then starting monday I'm commuting 3 hours round-trip each day on top of my working hours to launch a system in a hospital out of town for 2 weeks. I would have stayed there but DS had a hard time when I was in KY for a week so this way I'll be home for dinner/bedtime each night.