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I think I want to keep the baby...

Not really sure what board I should have posted this on because it's a little bit of both baby and relationship. So anyways long story short I'm preggo, and we both are on the fence cause we want the baby but we don't ( please spare me of the negative comments only reply with advice) we want the kid because honesty we both want a kid but it happened at a bad  time because the boyfriend had to quit his job and go live with his dad to take care of him. So he's now not planning on working (which I'm not mad at him because taking care of his dad is a full time job) so since we found out all this was going to take place we have been extra careful but it didn't matter because I was already preggo (so im clearly a little further along then we were hoping as well)  so now if we keep the kid I'd have to move to a different town, hope I can find a job, that can pay for me and child and be away from my family. I need advice please.. Thanks in advance for the ones who will give real advice 

 

Also if I do keep the kid I wouldn't want to resent that he's not working, just like I wouldn't want him to do if it was switched but let's be real and baby needs its mother more in the beginning  

Re: I think I want to keep the baby...

  • You seem defensive already.  How old are you and your boyfriend?  How long have you been together?  Is it possible to live with your bf and his dad?
  • How old are you and your BF? What is your financial situation? Can you afford basic needs? What's your family/friend situation like? In your BF's absence, do you have a strong support system in place?

    It's one thing to *want* a baby, and I understand you when you say you do. It's another thing to actually have one. 

    Good thing - I'm sure this is a difficult decision for you. 

  • If you quit your job and move, will you lose your health insurance? How far away is your bf living now? And how old are you?
  • Why on earth would you be moving, especially if it means to live with someone who is already tasked with taking care of someone else full time and has no source of income?  You stay where you are, especially assuming you already have a job.  Don't gamble on a new town and finding something while pregnant.  Don't go following your boyfriend.  If your desire to be with your boyfriend is stronger than your desire to provide some security for the baby, then there's your answer as to whether you should have it or not.
    image
    "That chick wins at Penises, for sure." -- Fenton
  • Sorry didn't seem to come across defensive, just when I read some of these post as soon as someone says they aren't sure what to do another person comes on like god said its wrong to do this and that, that's all I ment. So sorry about that. We both are 27. And my one job after I have the kid I'd probably lose because there's no maternity leave. if I moved I wouldn't lose my insurance. Plus the boyfriend does make money for rent and his needs, it's just not, typical 9-5 that would provide more. Also the distance is plane ride away. It's not so much a desire to be with him over a child, it would be more why would we not raise the child together in the same home if we are together? We've been together for 3 and half years.
  • Oh also I wouldn't consider moving till after the baby because who's really going to hire a pregnant women? and where I'm at now I'm make decent money. 

  • Most companies don't really "have" the paid maternity leave that you might be looking for these days.  However, if you've worked there more than a year, and the site employs 50 or more employees, then your position is protected by the Family Medical Leave Act. This means they have to allow you to take up to 12 weeks off for the care of a newborn and allow you to return to a comparable position. 

  • Again, don't give up a job where you make "decent money" to move to the unknown.  But I'm curious as to how you will still have insurance if you move.  Please explain.
    image
    "That chick wins at Penises, for sure." -- Fenton
  • I have two jobs the one is just me so if i leave for say even a month, they'd need a new hire and my other job because I can work from my computer I can do anywhere but it doesn't make alot of money but they pay for insurance and cellphone its very helpful
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