**Please note I am not condoning FB as a great way for two people to get to know one another.**
So the lowdown...
Mom: liberal, voicing opinioning even if you don't want it, non-religious, non-traditionalist, sometimes immasculates my stepdad, loving, caring person, and means well.
Me in their eyes: loving, caring, but my mom handles me as a child and thinks my complete outlook on life matches hers exactly to the T. It doesn't I'm more like my SW and very traditional in my thinking of relationships. And politics- hang in the balance. I'm free-thinking on different topics and others not so much.
Sweetie: conservative, hard-headed, opinionated, religious, traditionalist, loving, caring, and does not want opinions from other people unless asked.
Situation: All started with a post that my SW posted a status on FB regarding politics. Thinks most politicians are vermin <--note this word> and that we need to clean out the white house, congress, etc.ok. My mom took it from a racial standpoint and accused him of being racist and that Nazi's used the word "vermin" in reference to Jews. Totally off topic but an opinion and insight of what he was saying in her words. (doesn't help that my SW is of german background-not that matters to me). Anyway, it escalated into a big thing and my SW placed another post asking for "individuals" to allow him to work his first amendment and not play FB Police. Clearly we know who that was for. So my mom called me up crying hysterically and then going onto accusitory and then hurtful. She didn't like my SW and felt like I could do better. I was making a mistake and this all happened after he and I had gone ring shopping and she found out from my Stepdad that we talked about it in passing. (my parents are separated) Again, I hadn't had time to call my mom and give her the weekly update as we live 700+ miles away. Which I think is very hard for her as we've always been close. Now my SW can't stand that she just yells at me and makes me feel bad for making choices and decisions on my own. He feels that she manipulates me and takes things out on me. NOW I've sort of stepped up to my mother w/o trying to hurt her feelings. I've explained what my SW meant and that maybe they should not be friends on FB, b/c clearly its not a positive way to get to know someone. So I had my SW delete her off of his, b/c I would've spent an hr just trying to walk my mom through it. She's trying to be supportive but I know she's more ambivilant towards me now after all this....she's gone as far as to accuse me of going dress shopping w/ my SW's aunt and doing things out here and not including her.....WE ARE ENGAGED YET.We've done our ring shopping and we're waiting til my SW finishes school. I can't stand I'm thrown in the middle and my SW swears once we're married he's going to tell her what he would like from her and not like. I doubt he'll remember...i just know he dislikes seeing me walked on so much and beat down for my choices.
SO what should I do? I don't want to ignore my mom, but I'm trying to build a relationship w/ my SW and a life too. This is the man I'm going to marry and she already seems to hate the thought. *sigh*