The situation is this- My younger half sister is just 14 y.o. Our dad and her mother are divorced. Technically her mom has custody but she has always just floated freely between houses. Her mom works one of those rotating shift schedules, so she stays with my dad for lengths of time when it works best for Dad & Stepmom to take her to school and activities. Baby sister also has a tendency to take advantage of this system when one parent makes her mad or she doesn't get her way. She doesn't come right out and say it, but she'll get the other one to come pick her up and essentially boycot that parent for a while.
In the last probably 3-4 months her grandma (her mom's mom) has sunk her hooks into Baby Sister. I grew up in the church and am completely fine, and supportive of her going to church and being very active in church youth programs if she wants to be. The problem is that it seems like her grandparents and the church family she has come into, are really using their beliefs to manipulate her. It's almost as if she's been brainwashed. I think it's great if she's making these decisions for herself, but I feel like it's more like they are manipulating my young, impressionable sister.
I know her grandma has essentially bribed her in the past with things like, If you don't cut your hair I'll buy your this or let you do that. There was also a boy at this church that she really liked and that was a driving point for her at one point too. That's not the way to get a kid to make good choices.
In just a couple months time, this 14 y.o. has basically lost interest and dropped all of her extra curricular activities for different reasons that have been justified by this church, completely changed the way dresses, does her hair - completely different kid. And she was very outgoing, involved, vibrant before - not the kind of kid that was messed up with the wrong crowd or anything like that and needed a change. And now she ostracizes anyone that refutes anything she says related to her church. She is coming to our Dad's house less and less, and she blocks us on facebook, etc. The facebook thing seems petty but I live out-of-state and we used to keep in touch that way a lot.
I keep hoping that as she gets a little more mature with age she will be able to make choices about her faith on her own. If that's what she wants to continue with fine. I'm just worried that family relationships will be ruined in the process. My Dad has mentioned doing some counseling sessions with her and she was open to it. I don't have any experience with that type of thing so wondered what your thoughts are on that?
Please understand that I am not against this denomination in general, just this situation. How would you handle this? Have any of you been through a similar situation in your family?