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Can I just vent? Seriously... NOTHING for our 3 year anniversary???

How are you not going to give me ANYTHINGGGGGG for our 3 year anniversary?? Flowers, candy, a decent dinner date (not the usual place that we go at least once a week!!!!!!). I mean come on!!!!!!! I thought I taught you well. I mean I already forgave you for barely acknowledging our first valentines day together, but seriously... 3 years???? Ohhh boys, can't I just have a man already? 
Daisypath Graduation tickers
Daisypath Anniversary tickers

Re: Can I just vent? Seriously... NOTHING for our 3 year anniversary???

  • That sucks! 

    Tell him how you feel about it. This happened with DH and I when we were still engaged and I MADE IT CLEAR to him that stuff like that was not ok. He doesn't need to get me a gift or plan something elaborate, but he at least needs to acknowledge it with a card or a letter or flowers or SOMETHING!

     

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  • How often does he blow off celebratory events like this?
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  • Have you made it clear to him in the past how important it is to you?
    Sorry, girl. 
    image
  • Tomorrow, run out and get a paper hard copy calendar, hang it in a promient place and before you hang it, circle in red all significant dates, including your anniversary.

    Did he forget? it is possible.  If he sincerely forgot -- and it happens, married a short time or not, he didn't mean any harm.

    Suppose he gives you a belated anniversary gift? Would that be okay?
  • We didn't plan anything, but I figured he was going to take it upon himself to plan something :( This past valentines day he came to my house EARLYYY in the morning and surprised me with flowers, balloons, and candy. I thought he was getting better at it. He acknowledged it, but just said "oh I was going to take you to _____" but its the place that we go to once EVERY single week! 

     

    I'm going to have to CLEARLY lay it out for him what I expect. I always tell him how I feel about my sister's husband never buying her ANYTHING (for 9 years) and he agrees that that is just not right. If midnight comes and he STILL does not have anything up his sleeve I am going to be one pissed (really upset) gf :( 

    Daisypath Graduation tickers
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
  • Oh, he's just a boyfriend?  Well, then I think this is important info about the future, maybe.  How did your first and second anniversaries go?
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  • Hmmm. This could be indicative of how his behavior towards anniversaries, etc will be if you continue this relationship. Usually people are on their best behavior when they're dating. If you expect something different, though, I would lay out your expectations.
  • Whether or not you stay with your boyfriend, you need to read "The Five Love Languages".  Figure out what your love language is - then communicate your needs to your partner.  You seem to be a "Receiving Gifts" person and your partner needs to know that.  For all we know, he may have fixed your car last week or taken you shopping and thought that through these actions he was demonstrating his love for you.

    No one is psychic.  Communicate what you want -- don't be one of those idiots who sits there and whines "I think he should just KNOOOOOOOOOOW!"  If you refuse to communicate, you will be angry and frustrated with your partner all the time or you will be alone because no one will be able to mystically "know" what you want. 

  • imageDaringMiss:

    Whether or not you stay with your boyfriend, you need to read "The Five Love Languages".  Figure out what your love language is - then communicate your needs to your partner.  

    This.

    Also, given that he has shown this behavior before (on Valentines day)...Could mean that there is a huge disconnect. How are you approaching this issue? Considering your tone (saying you "taught him better", lots of exclamation points, ect), maybe you need to re-evaluate they way you are saying and explaining they way his behavior makes you feel.

     

    GL. 

  • imageallygirl09:

    We didn't plan anything, but I figured he was going to take it upon himself to plan something :( This past valentines day he came to my house EARLYYY in the morning and surprised me with flowers, balloons, and candy. I thought he was getting better at it. He acknowledged it, but just said "oh I was going to take you to _____" but its the place that we go to once EVERY single week! 

     

    I'm going to have to CLEARLY lay it out for him what I expect. I always tell him how I feel about my sister's husband never buying her ANYTHING (for 9 years) and he agrees that that is just not right. If midnight comes and he STILL does not have anything up his sleeve I am going to be one pissed (really upset) gf :( 



    Make up a wish list. Give to him about a month before the day..

    Great for b'days and holidays, too.

  • I had a similiar issue when DH and I started dating. I was really big on anniversaries and well he was just not. He planned something the first year kind of remade our first official date and boyfriend/girlfriend. But year two absolutely nothing so I decided if I wanted something special or do something special for our anniversary that I had to plan it and execute it to show him what I wanted. The next year I planned dinner for the two of us and then we spent the night at a hotel on the beach.

     Sometimes you just have to plan it out yourself to set the example of what you expect, tell him what you want, and also remind him that the date is coming up. You can also try telling him something to drop the hint like I've already bought your gift for our anniversary and I can't wait until you see it, etc to remind him (hey I need to get a gift or plan something.) HTH!

    Daisypath Anniversary tickers PersonalMilestone Photobucket
  • imageallygirl09:

    I'm going to have to CLEARLY lay it out for him what I expect. I always tell him how I feel about my sister's husband never buying her ANYTHING (for 9 years) and he agrees that that is just not right. If midnight comes and he STILL does not have anything up his sleeve I am going to be one pissed (really upset) gf :( 

    No one is a mind reader.  If that is what you want tell him. Personally I don't take much stock into these sorts of things and after being married I know there are more important things,  but I guess if this is important just let him know.  Some guys will never see these things as important.  DH never feels our anniversary is a time to celebrate which is fine by me since if I am not planning something it won't get done, many times thats how it is in a lot of relationship. 

    Some guys just don't care about dates like that, and thats just the bottom line.  But other then that, is your bf good about everything else?  IF so, I probably don't consider this to be a huge issue really, there really isn't a lot of important dates out there maybe bdays, holidays, anniversaries?  All of which guys hate buying stuff for or even planning.  So if you want to do something plan it and send him a google invite.

    image
  • imageallygirl09:

    We didn't plan anything, but I figured he was going to take it upon himself to plan something :( This past valentines day he came to my house EARLYYY in the morning and surprised me with flowers, balloons, and candy. I thought he was getting better at it. He acknowledged it, but just said "oh I was going to take you to _____" but its the place that we go to once EVERY single week! 

     

    I'm going to have to CLEARLY lay it out for him what I expect. I always tell him how I feel about my sister's husband never buying her ANYTHING (for 9 years) and he agrees that that is just not right. If midnight comes and he STILL does not have anything up his sleeve I am going to be one pissed (really upset) gf :( 

     

    What did you plan for the day?  Why does he have to be the one to plan??  You assumed he would - that was your own fault.

    If my husband showed up with balloons and flowers on Valentine's Day, I'd laugh at him because that is so over-the-top unnecessary.  You seem more focused on the BIG to-do than the actual event.

    I love my husband.  We plan our anniversary stuff together.  We discuss it like adults and don't expect the other to be a mind reader.

  • imageJoy2611:
    imageallygirl09:

    We didn't plan anything, but I figured he was going to take it upon himself to plan something :( This past valentines day he came to my house EARLYYY in the morning and surprised me with flowers, balloons, and candy. I thought he was getting better at it. He acknowledged it, but just said "oh I was going to take you to _____" but its the place that we go to once EVERY single week! 

     

    I'm going to have to CLEARLY lay it out for him what I expect. I always tell him how I feel about my sister's husband never buying her ANYTHING (for 9 years) and he agrees that that is just not right. If midnight comes and he STILL does not have anything up his sleeve I am going to be one pissed (really upset) gf :( 

     

    What did you plan for the day?  Why does he have to be the one to plan??  You assumed he would - that was your own fault.

    If my husband showed up with balloons and flowers on Valentine's Day, I'd laugh at him because that is so over-the-top unnecessary.  You seem more focused on the BIG to-do than the actual event.

    I love my husband.  We plan our anniversary stuff together.  We discuss it like adults and don't except the other to be a mind reader.

    Yes

    Why exactly is it only his responsibility to plan something?  What did you do for him?  I think you are being unfair. 

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  • imageJoy2611:
    imageallygirl09:

    We didn't plan anything, but I figured he was going to take it upon himself to plan something :( This past valentines day he came to my house EARLYYY in the morning and surprised me with flowers, balloons, and candy. I thought he was getting better at it. He acknowledged it, but just said "oh I was going to take you to _____" but its the place that we go to once EVERY single week! 

     

    I'm going to have to CLEARLY lay it out for him what I expect. I always tell him how I feel about my sister's husband never buying her ANYTHING (for 9 years) and he agrees that that is just not right. If midnight comes and he STILL does not have anything up his sleeve I am going to be one pissed (really upset) gf :( 

     

    What did you plan for the day?  Why does he have to be the one to plan??  You assumed he would - that was your own fault.

    If my husband showed up with balloons and flowers on Valentine's Day, I'd laugh at him because that is so over-the-top unnecessary.  You seem more focused on the BIG to-do than the actual event.

    I love my husband.  We plan our anniversary stuff together.  We discuss it like adults and don't expect the other to be a mind reader.

    This exactly.  We should the guy always be the one planning stuff? Next time, plan where you want to go to dinner together.  Get him a gift if that's your thing, and he'll probably do the same.

    Lilypie Fifth Birthday tickers Lilypie Maternity tickers
  • I understand your frustration, but remember he is human, as we all are! Take the initiative and plan something nice. Or better yet, plan something together! Sometimes that can be the fun part is planning and looking forward to what you have coming up! We do that and knowing that a special day is coming up gives both of us something to look forward to AND neither one of us are disappointed. We are not about the gifts (to be honest- I am anti- Valentines gifts) I say this because my birthday is the day after Valentines day, so I joke and say "If you feel the need to get me flowers at least do so on my birthday at a clearance price! Say what you need out of your relationship! We have been dating 3+ years as well and have learned without communication, there is no foundation to build upon!

    Best of luck in the future with planning big days!

  • Sorry to be a total downer because I don't know anything at all about your situation, but I didn't get anything for my 3 year anniversary and I got dumped a few months later.  However, ex had always been good about giving me flowers, etc for all special occasions.
    "How often does the other woman get a happy ending?" Chuck Bass, Gossip Girl
  • It's been my experience that if you want a man to do something, you'd better tell him about it.  They aren't good at mind reading at all.  If not surprising you with something on anniversary is this big of a deal, you might want to start reevaluating your relationship with him. People don't tend to change much and it's not likely that he'd start surprising you with gifts and dinner plans if he doesn't have that type of character.
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    [/url]

    [center]Me: 25 SO: 35

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  • Its always been the man's job to do everything.  Give the boy a break, plan something yourself, maybe?

     

    Also - sex dice.  Relationship saved.

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