Sex & Romance
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E.D.

Hi ladies.

I do have another account and have been on the boards a lot in the past, but since this topic is a rather delicate one I decided to create a new one. 

First, I know that most of the ladies here wouldn't do this, but I feel the need to put it out there. I would like serious responses and no rude or inappropriate comments.

My DH and I have dealt with E.D. off and on since we have been together. I would like to note that we are fairly young for this, I'm 29 and he's 28 and have been together for a little over 6 years. I have been supportive from the start because I know it has nothing to do with me or specifically with him, it's more of a physical problem that needs to be addressed. He has just started seeing a doctor about it, which I'm really proud of him. He's still undergoing certain tests to make sure that his E.D. isn't caused by an underlying health condition.

Now that brings me to my dilemma. We both have decided that we want to have kids and have discussed TTC. Our original thought was that we were going to start this past fall, however, most attempts to make love ended in not being able to do so. We talked about it and decided that we needed to take that pressure off while he's working this out. I know there is no right time when things happen, but I find myself becoming very sensitive to others announcing their pregnancies. I'm happy for my friends, but am also a little jealous. I haven't really spoken much to my DH about these feelings because I don't want to hurt him anymore then I know he already has been with dealing with his E.D. It's especially been hard this past week for me. 3 of my friends announced pregnancies over Christmas and this is also my time to try. Even though we aren't actively TTC we have left it at if we time it right great if not no big deal. I haven't been sharing with him the best times anymore so he doesn't feel pressured, but this was my week and every time we have tried this week it has ended in failure.

 This has become longer then I had anticipated. I know there is no real question here, mostly me just expressing my emotions while trying to be supportive. I never realized how much it would start to weigh on me and part of me feels guilty for wanting to have a baby right now. Thank you for letting me tell you though, because I have not shared this with anyone.

Re: E.D.

  • hats off to your H for seeing a doc.

    The dipstick to a man's health is his penis --- and for women, a woman's red flag is her period.

    E.D. can signify a great many things -- I'm sure he is being screened for cardiac, hormonal and thyroidal issues and diabetes..

    If it's not any of these it very well could be a psychological issue and in which case it would be a good idea to see a sex therapist together.

    Maybe he's not ready to be a parent and the erectile problems is manifesting itself that way.

    In themeanwhile, why don't you and your H get your kid fix in other ways? You guys sound like you would be great to be volunteers for kid's programs -- kids always need volunteers for church/worship groups, teams -- they need coaches and others ---, after school programs, mentoring, tutoring -- amd a lot of times, kids need somebody cool to look up to and to talk to.:)

    I would strongly suggest holding off on TTC until your H's health issue is resolved 100%. Good luck --- let us know what happens.

  • Well hopefully after he sees the dr. they can help the issue and you can get pregnant. May i ask why it took 6 years to see a dr? I kjnow if i were you i would have made him go years ago or i owuldnt have been so patient.


  • It wasn't a continual issue, so I think he felt the problem would go away after awhile. Believe me, I was trying a long time ago to get him to see a doc. Now, I will say that this year he lost his mother to cancer which may be a reason for more of the issues surfacing now. It's more important to me that he's healthy then to have children, I know we can always adopt, it just doesn't mean that I always feel the greatest about our circumstances.
  • So what you are saying is that you don't think the problem will be resolved or he does not want it resolved???

    This is foolhardy and you're also selling yourselves and your sex lives short.

    When this was an issue for more than a month, that is when he needed to see a doc.

    Forget the stigma attached to problems with the penis --- as I said, erectile problems can be indicative of potentially dangerous health issues. Why should a man screw around with his health?

    The adoption issue isn't it --- he's got a problem and he needs to have it resolved stat. I suggest a trip to an endocrinologist. Make an appointment with one, also see an internist and a urologist.

    Do not encroach the topic of having kids -- either via adoption, TTC or other -- until his health issue is signed sealed and delivered.  Sex is a big issue that a couple will argue about and it's indeed possible that the situation with his ED can lead to many an argument. GL.

  • image TarponMonoxide:

    So what you are saying is that you don't think the problem will be resolved or he does not want it resolved???

    This is foolhardy and you're also selling yourselves and your sex lives short.

    When this was an issue for more than a month, that is when he needed to see a doc.

    Forget the stigma attached to problems with the penis --- as I said, erectile problems can be indicative of potentially dangerous health issues. Why should a man screw around with his health?

    The adoption issue isn't it --- he's got a problem and he needs to have it resolved stat. I suggest a trip to an endocrinologist. Make an appointment with one, also see an internist and a urologist.

    Do not encroach the topic of having kids -- either via adoption, TTC or other -- until his health issue is signed sealed and delivered.  Sex is a big issue that a couple will argue about and it's indeed possible that the situation with his ED can lead to many an argument. GL.

    You are missing the point. I already said that his health is what is important. It has lead to many an argument, however, I can not MAKE him do anything he didn't want to do. Me trying to force him to see a doc before he was ready would have been stupid on my part. I did pressure him, but not to the point of ruining our relationship. Sex is important, but not everything. And he has been seeing an endocrinologist who is currently working with him to actively find an answer.

    You blew this WAY out of proportion. I haven't been forcing kids down his throat. We have had many a healthy conversation about TTC and he has been completely on board. It was ME who suggested backing off so it wasn't a pressure on him. He still wants to be actively TTC. I'm more concerned about his health because it could be a HUGE health issue. All I said is that we are at the point of NNT and that his health is so important to me that I'm willing to adopt in the end if that is what we need to do. I never meant it to be that my little world is all about TTC and even though he has this issue that's all I care about.

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