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My SIL is disciplining my son

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Re: My SIL is disciplining my son

  • you are reading way to much into this.  To me it sounds like you are inventing ways to be annoyed with your SIL simply because you don't like her.
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  • Ehh I don't see the big deal.  Her choice of words is laughable, but I don't see it as a big deal.  I have told my own nephew to stop doing something if I thought he might hurt someone or something.  This is my sister's kid so that might be different.  She does the same to my DD.  No one gets bent out of shape about it. 
  • I don't have kids of my own. If I see a child doing something danergous or stupid, I will tell them to stop, whether their parents are in the room or not. Why does it bother you that another adult enforces a message you claim to have already given your kid?
  • Maybe the comment was directed more towards you, than your son. 

    Does she have kids?  Would she allow her own kids to shoot this object in the house?  If the answer to both is NO, then its absurd for you to think its OK to do it in someone else's home. The fact that he has never shot it also symbolizes to me that you don't even let him shoot it in your OWN home.  WTF

    I have, and will in the future, correct children in my home if the parents are not doing so. 

  • image JoJo+Leo:
    image Nicola05:

    I would really like it if some of you could have just given some positive advice. I never said that I didn't say something to my son. I did. I told him to shot at the wall. However, he has never shot that stinkin' thing and it went to the side and hit an ornament. I was on top of it. She just chimmed in and it frustrated me. I tell you, if I took the views some of you had, I wouldn't have any friends. I am a great parent and my son is very well behaved. I never put my child on anyone and try to teach him the proper way all the time. I fall down on my job because...hey, let's face it....life happens. I guess I was coming from the angle that things are so tense with her, that I don't think I could discipline/tell her children anything. She doesn't have children yet. What I was trying to do was NOT make a mountain out of a mole hill. But, illumine....man, you were too harsh. If you knew me and said I didn't do a good job as a parent...maybe I could see. That's just not the case. Your being very judgemental....

     Thank you to those of you for just letting me know that I may be off base. I take that advice and go with. Everyone have a blessed day ;~) 

    Hmm  Welcome to the internet where you cannot control how people respond.  You did not mention that you had said something to him.  Furthermore, I would have said something just based off the fact you were letting him shoot in a house near breakables.  Even if he IS shooting at the wall, it could bounce off and hit other things/people.  Next time, bring an appropriate indoor toy.

    Thank you!!  This could have been avoided by doing so.  Still, I really don't think it's a big deal.  Can you deal with the underlying issue with you SIL so that these minor incidents don't bother you.  I have always believed that it takes a village to raise a family, so I believe that other adults should correct (with minor incidents like this) children, especially if they are related to the child.

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  • I just wanted to add that if you don't want to be judged don't post your problems on the internet. By posting you are ASKING for people to make a judgment call on the facts you present and everyone did just that. You are mad because they judged YOU instead of your SIL. Had they judged HER and called her rude/uptight/out of line you would have been perfectly happy to take that judgment to the bank! So... post and get the judgment you are asking for or don't post. Ya can't have it both ways!

     
  • I am new here, and not looking to make enemies Embarrassed. With that said, I will admit that to me it does seem people reacted too strongly to your post.

    I don't have kids, but I do have friends with kids and I can't imagine taking issue with them shooting a nerf gun in my house. Maybe I am forgetting what a nerf gun looks like, but isn't it a small piece of styrofoam? It seems like an off-chance it would break anything.

    Ideally, yes, you redirecting the child makes sense. As for her stepping in, that doesn't seem appropriate unless the child kept repeatedly shooting at breakables and you repeatedly did nothing. And, if it were me, rather than addressing the child directly I would ask you if he could take it outside (or whatever).

  • image tinylight:

    I am new here, and not looking to make enemies Embarrassed. With that said, I will admit that to me it does seem people reacted too strongly to your post.

    I don't have kids, but I do have friends with kids and I can't imagine taking issue with them shooting a nerf gun in my house. Maybe I am forgetting what a nerf gun looks like, but isn't it a small piece of styrofoam? It seems like an off-chance it would break anything.

    Ideally, yes, you redirecting the child makes sense. As for her stepping in, that doesn't seem appropriate unless the child kept repeatedly shooting at breakables and you repeatedly did nothing. And, if it were me, rather than addressing the child directly I would ask you if he could take it outside (or whatever).

    Actually, if you go on line, the smallest / least strenght nerf dart gun has a range of 30 feet. If there is enough force to shoot this item 30 feet, there is enough force to make even a foam dart break something or hurt someone.

    Look, if YOU want to open yourself up to that chance, that is great for YOU.   But it is MY right to protect MYSELF from harm if the parent does not want to be responsible.  And that is what at least I was trying to get across. 

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  • as the sil who doesn't have kids, i will and do say things to my niece and nephew when they need some redirection or discipline.  i don't step on my sil's toes, and i don't usually say anything if she's in the room.  my sil is awesome and perfectly capable of handling her kids.  however, as an adult who loves her niece and nephew and isn't going to say anything unfair or spiteful to them, i feel that i should be able to say something if i see one of them do something they shouldn't without my sil getting her panties in a wad.  luckily, my niece and nephew are usually really well-behaved, but occasionally, they need to be told that something they're doing is unacceptable.  i think it's doing them a disservice if i don't say something.

    your relationship with your sil is different, but i think you should let this one go.  it probably wasn't a dig at you, and it doesn't sound like she was trying to be mean to your child.  then again, i would find it annoying if my niece or nephew were playing with a toy that could break things in my parents' house and my sil didn't actually do anything to stop it. 

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  • image tinylight:

    I don't have kids, but I do have friends with kids and I can't imagine taking issue with them shooting a nerf gun in my house. Maybe I am forgetting what a nerf gun looks like, but isn't it a small piece of styrofoam? It seems like an off-chance it would break anything.

    The one that I bought one for my nephew for Christmas was almost as tall as his five year-old brother, and made of hard plastic.  I didn't let him shoot it in my home, either, because although it's pretty kid-friendly, it's small, too.  I didn't want one of the 20+ people we had over getting shot in the eye. 

    I agree with the bulk of the PPs who said that the OP's SIL wasn't in the wrong.  In my experience (both as a kid and now as an adult), it was expected that if you were doing something wrong, the nearest adult would stop you and, if necessary, correct you.  I've never physically disciplined a niece or nephew (or young cousin), but I've given my fair share of time-outs. 

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  • I totally feel your pain and your comment around walking on egg shells! It's so frustrating.

     because of the way the person can respond, esp when you already don't get along it's so easy to over react to what the person did.

    Annoying!

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