Sex & Romance
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What do I say?

I've been dating my SO for the past 8 months. He is only the 3rd person I've ever slept with. The sex is amazing. Seriously, the best I've ever had. We've both been tested and while I have an IUD we are not using condoms. Here is my problem- when we are having sex he always asks me where I want him to ejaculate. But he asks it like I'm supposed to give some sexy answer. I have no idea what I'm supposed to say! FWIW I'm not good at "talking dirty" during sex. I usually end up feeling ridiculous. And not because of anything he says- its my own insecurities. So, every time he asks me this I usually end up saying something boring or ridiculous like, oh on my stomach is fine. Gesh.  Help a girl out.

And any suggestions on getting better at talking during sex? I never know what to say...

Re: What do I say?

  • I understand being uncomfortable with dirty talk at first. It feels silly in the beginning, but just let yourself relax and lose your inhibitions. Start little, and work your way up as you get more comfortable with being more vocal. Next time your SO asks you that question, if you don't really know what to say, try saying "wherever you want" and see how he responds. Use his feedback as a guide. Good luck!
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  • Oh man, I feel for you girl. My husband talks dirty sometimes and it makes me uncomfortable....kinda puts a damper on the moment for me. Sorry I don't have anything good you could say back to him!
  • Well your responses could be simple like "on my tiits" or "on my asss," you could turn it around as a pp suggested and as"where do you want to come" and then whatever his response is, followup with "oooh I like that idea." 

    Ease into dirty talking in general with small things like "that feels so good," and "I love how you touch/lick/kiss me" or whatever.  Once you are more comfortable with that kick it up a notch with things like "I love how you feel inside me," or "You turn me on so much." As you become more comfortable, you can get more raunchy.  My other advice is tailor it to the moment and just be aware of when to use raunchy talk.  You really can't ever go wrong with "that feels good" and using his name.  Many men love to hear their names, you'd be shocked at what a turn on this is.  You could also try texting him dirty things, sometimes that feels less awkward and gives you a place to start.

    Hope this gives you some ideas. Good luck. 

     

  • I like turning it back to him. I'm not sure what kind of an answer he wants so that might help and then take his lead on it.

    Thanks for the suggestions. I like the thought of using his name more. That I would feel comfortable with! Thanks ladies!

  • Yeah I would say turn it around on him. If you just say "wherever you want" you can't be mad when he does it in your face or whatever, lol.
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  • I'm just wondering why he's bothering to pull out if you have an IUD.
    image
  • A good way to learn to talk during sex is just speak up when you like something. 

    "Oh yeah, that feels real good"

    "I love it when you touch me there"

    Don't say something just to say it though,only if you feel it say it. That keeps him doing stuff you like, and also helps reduce the feeling silly factor.

     

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  • I would actually talk about this outside of the moment and the bedroom.  Tell him that you never know what to say in that moment and that you don't think you are being very sexy.  Ask him if there are particular places on your body that he would find more or less sexy to ejaculate on.  Figure out where your boundaries are (sperm in the eyes is distinctly uncomfortable in my experience).  Ask if there is a phrase that you can use that would be most erotic to him.  Then use those phrases on a rotating basis.  You can try things like "Oh baby, shoot it all over me" or "Oh baby, give it all to me".  If you want him to finish inside of you, say "I want to you come deep inside of me.  Pump me full!"

    Guys who have been watching porn are used seeing the "money shot".  In porn, if the male actor ejaculates inside of the woman, it isn't very "cinematic".  So ejaculating on a  woman's body is considered the norm in porn.

  • imageReturnOfKuus:
    I'm just wondering why he's bothering to pull out if you have an IUD.

    I was wondering that too

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  • imageiluvmytxrgr:

    imageReturnOfKuus:
    I'm just wondering why he's bothering to pull out if you have an IUD.

    I was wondering that too

    I asked him this as well. He said that he is still very paranoid about something not working and me getting pregnant. I've told him the likelihood of this happening is soo small and yes, sometimes he doesn't pull out. It's just the times that he does that I'm not sure what to do.

  • imageDaringMiss:

    I would actually talk about this outside of the moment and the bedroom.  Tell him that you never know what to say in that moment and that you don't think you are being very sexy.  Ask him if there are particular places on your body that he would find more or less sexy to ejaculate on.  Figure out where your boundaries are (sperm in the eyes is distinctly uncomfortable in my experience).  Ask if there is a phrase that you can use that would be most erotic to him.  Then use those phrases on a rotating basis.  You can try things like "Oh baby, shoot it all over me" or "Oh baby, give it all to me".  If you want him to finish inside of you, say "I want to you come deep inside of me.  Pump me full!"

    Guys who have been watching porn are used seeing the "money shot".  In porn, if the male actor ejaculates inside of the woman, it isn't very "cinematic".  So ejaculating on a  woman's body is considered the norm in porn.

    Thank you so much for this advice. I am definitely going to talk to him outside of the bedroom about this. I feel like I'm making it so much more of a big deal and being harder on myself than it really is and if I just talk to him it might make it less awkward for me.

  • I agree that you let him choose where to ***.  But, like someone has already stated, you might not like his choice: i.e. your face, hair, mouth, ect..

    If you've already had your "O", then help him maybe.  Have him pull out and use your hands or mouth on him.  Then, tell him that if he wants to ***, just do it.  You should be able to control where it goes pretty good as long as you have a firm grip on him.  Try a few different places to see where you like it best.  Have him *** on your breasts, or face, or neck (pearl necklace), on the floor, in your hand, be creative.  Let him know that you are experimenting and want to try different places to see where you and he like it best. 

    Communicate to him that you feel at a loss when he asks.  Don't be afraid to say that you don't know or aren't sure.  Add that you need to try a few different places to see what is best.  At the least, you get a lot of sex while you are trying to figure it all out.

    Again, don't be scared to ask him what he wants or to say that you just don't know.  But at you are very willing to try out a few spots.  I know I am repeating myself, but really, communication is the key here.

     

    Hope this helps

    I'll try anything once. Yes, anything, well almost!! :)
  • imagehunter8768:

    I agree that you let him choose where to ***.  But, like someone has already stated, you might not like his choice: i.e. your face, hair, mouth, ect..

    If you've already had your "O", then help him maybe.  Have him pull out and use your hands or mouth on him.  Then, tell him that if he wants to ***, just do it.  You should be able to control where it goes pretty good as long as you have a firm grip on him.  Try a few different places to see where you like it best.  Have him *** on your breasts, or face, or neck (pearl necklace), on the floor, in your hand, be creative.  Let him know that you are experimenting and want to try different places to see where you and he like it best. 

    Communicate to him that you feel at a loss when he asks.  Don't be afraid to say that you don't know or aren't sure.  Add that you need to try a few different places to see what is best.  At the least, you get a lot of sex while you are trying to figure it all out.

    Again, don't be scared to ask him what he wants or to say that you just don't know.  But at you are very willing to try out a few spots.  I know I am repeating myself, but really, communication is the key here.

     

    Hope this helps

     

    If i was taking charge of things, and then had my husband ejaculate on the FLOOR he would not be happy. 

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