My SIL is graduating in the spring and has been applying to college. She goes to a private college prep high school. Almost all of the colleges that come visit the school are private catholic schools that cost a ton and are picky about who they let in. Most of the kids in her school have outstanding grades and end up getting scholarships because they are at or below poverty line.
DH has been helping her, going to college meetings at school, looking for schorlarships, advising her about her college essay, etc. Last week I asked her if she decided which schoold to apply for (her school will pay for up to 7 application fees.) She started acting odd and finally said a list under her breath. Turns out she hasn't talked to MIL at all about her college plans. All of the schools she applied to are private catholic schools and out of state. She told me her "back-up plan is Regis." MIL overheard us talking and got very upset saying she needs to apply to places here, school costs too much and she should just stay here where it is cheaper. We as in DH, both SIL's and myself think she just doesn't want her to leave state.
Anyway the problem is she doesn't have the grades or test scores to get into any of these schools. She has a C-B average and didn't do too hot on her ACTs. At this point we are all worried that when she gets all 7 of those denial letters she is going to feel defeated, upset, not worthy of going to a "good" school, and start making excuses. My other SIL thinks she is applying to schools she can't get into on purpose to stay here with her loser boyfriend who probably will not graduate. She tried to talk to her little sister but came off more as attacking and never got to the point because it turned into a fight.
MIL has tried to talk to her but she will not mention a single thing about college. She shuts her out and walks away. The only people she seems to be talking to is DH and myself. He wants to talk to her but doesn't want to come off as he doesn't believe in her and crush her dreams sort of attitude. My MIL thinks we should force her to apply to other schools but I don't think that is going to go over well. She has pretty much checked out of the situation and told DH it is his responsibility to make sure she gets into a school she will like. Hos other sister agrees with his mom and says since he is the "man" of the family he needs to force her to do what the family wants.
DH called her college adviser and she told DH that it is sad that we don't believe in SIL and give her more credit. She gave him zero advise and told him she has reached the limit the school will allow her to apply to. I think this is crap and the adviser is not being realistic with SIL.
She has only considered schools with smaller classroom size, are out of state, and are in a medium-large city. She has less than 2 months to apply to some schools and we have no idea how to get through to her. I am really frustrated with everyone in this situation and DH feels guilty if he doesn't try because of his mom and sister. At this point I am trying to help him come up with a successful way of aproaching SIL because I am concerend about her getting into a school.