Family Matters
Dear Community,

Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.

If you have questions about this, please email [email protected]

Thank you.

Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.

Not sure where to ask this....

I'm planning a baby shower & want to have everyone (that already has kids) write down "advice" for the new mom that they wish they had been given before they had kids... (everyone will just put the advice into a jar for the mother-to-be for her to take home & read on her own) 
If anyone on here has any advice they wish they'd had before having kids I'd love to hear it & add it the jar!

Re: Not sure where to ask this....

  • Ok,not to be a party pooper, but, do pregnant people/moms actually like this? I hear a LOT of people talking about how sick they are of the "advice" they get while they're pregnant. I can just imagine being like, 8 months pregnant, getting home from my shower, taking one look at a card that said, "Sleep now, because you won't for 18 years!" and lighting those MFers on fire, and throw then and jar they came in (Molotov cocktail style) into the driveway of the person who hosted the shower.  

     

    Oh - and sorry - no kids, so no advice. Other than not to do this. 

  • First of all, I would not restrict the advice to only people who have kids.  There will be people there who have experience with kids through...being an aunt (or uncle), volunteering, or even from being a kid themselves!

    Depending on the size of the shower, I think it's nice to read the advice out loud. 

    There is tons of advice you could give a new mom, but the special part is the "sharing" between people who know the mom-to-be, and the fact that the mom-to-be knows the person who wrote it.  Nobody from a message board fits that bill! 

  • If the advice is supposed to come from your guests, then why are you asking for things from Internet strangers to put in the jar? I'm not even being a smartass here. I honestly don't get it. 

    Something similar was done at my bridal shower ... guests were asked to write some marital-related advice in a little notebook for me. I read it once and now it's collecting dust. 

    If you are looking for alternatives, maybe you could do a wishing well and people can contribute small things that they feel are helpful for a new baby. A specific brand of diaper rash cream, their favorite children's book, a product that a new mom would utilize, etc. 

    image
  • I'm going to ditto the advice to not keep this to only guests who have children.  This is rather exclusionary and could be hurtful to guests who do not have children for whatever reason (miscarriage, biologically unable, lost a job, personal preference, etc).  Plus those of us who do not have children still likely have something valuable to add. 

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Stolen from someone on thebump...(where the baby showers board is)

    You can tell you child to pick up toys or any other chore and they will ignore you, but Elmo can say to cut out some guy's spleen and they will have a scapel in their hand in an instant.

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
  • This was done at my baby shower. It was kind of fun to read the different ideas that people have about what is the most important thing and why. Sometimes it was as simple as just have patience, and other times it was a story and a lesson they learned over the years. I think it was fun hearing what you family and friends have to say about their experiences!
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • image SueBear:

    First of all, I would not restrict the advice to only people who have kids.  There will be people there who have experience with kids through...being an aunt (or uncle), volunteering, or even from being a kid themselves!

    Depending on the size of the shower, I think it's nice to read the advice out loud. 

    There is tons of advice you could give a new mom, but the special part is the "sharing" between people who know the mom-to-be, and the fact that the mom-to-be knows the person who wrote it.  Nobody from a message board fits that bill! 

    I agree w/this!  OP, I think this is a GREAT idea!  I am not a parent yet, but would love to have something like this.  I think people will keep it light-hearted & funny but also sentimental for the people who are close to the mom-to-be.  I think it is a very sweet idea.  I would keep it in the baby's nursery & then make it a tradition by passing it down to the son or daughter that she has.

    To add to the jar - I am an Aunt, so I can only give "perspective" kind of advice, not so much experience.  I always say to DH, "Pleeeease, don't let me be *this way* when we have kids or do this...", etc.  so, on that note I would say to not "lose" yourself - get out there, still have friends, still go on dates w/DH, although your life will change - don't let it "diminish".

    This is advice from a CW of mine who is a new mom which surprised me (seeing as though she is a 1st time mom!), she said, "You're bringing your baby into *your* life, not the other way around...change & adapt together..". 

  • Instead of a jar, I'd think about a book-- either a notebook or maybe a recipe book. They did it at my shower, only they mixed up all the advice. I found it the other day and saw that there was an issue addressed I was having with my child and I couldn't find the answer. I was frustrated!
    [IMG]http://i45.tinypic.com/2czvlhx.jpg[/IMG]
  • Thanks ladies, I may be thinking this one through a little more...have a happy thanksgiving everyone!
  • image GreenMonkey1:

    I'm going to ditto the advice to not keep this to only guests who have children.  This is rather exclusionary and could be hurtful to guests who do not have children for whatever reason (miscarriage, biologically unable, lost a job, personal preference, etc).  Plus those of us who do not have children still likely have something valuable to add. 

    This.  As someone who cannot have children, it is already a bit difficult to attend baby showers.  It is even worse when people assume I have nothing to add when, in reality, I happen to know a lot about children.

  • image MKESweetie:

    Ok,not to be a party pooper, but, do pregnant people/moms actually like this? I hear a LOT of people talking about how sick they are of the "advice" they get while they're pregnant. I can just imagine being like, 8 months pregnant, getting home from my shower, taking one look at a card that said, "Sleep now, because you won't for 18 years!" and lighting those MFers on fire, and throw then and jar they came in (Molotov cocktail style) into the driveway of the person who hosted the shower.  

     

    Oh - and sorry - no kids, so no advice. Other than not to do this. 

     

    LMAO!

    TTGP March Siggy Challenge - Tina Fey inspires me!
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic AlternaTickers - Cool, free Web tickers
    My Ovulation Chart
    My Blog
  • I have an alternative suggestion.  It might not be up your alley, but I had a baby shower for a friend and I bought a bunch of colored clay and we all made her birth beads to bring with her to labor, along with note cards with some words of encouragement to help her through the labor process. 

    TTGP March Siggy Challenge - Tina Fey inspires me!
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic AlternaTickers - Cool, free Web tickers
    My Ovulation Chart
    My Blog
  • I agree that this kind of thing gets really old when you're pregnant. I'm 8 months and am fed up with hearing all the negative crap about losing control of your life, prepare to never shower/sleep/have sex again, blah blah blah.  Parenting is also incredibly personal, so there's a lot of irrelevant advice out there.

     If you go ahead with this, maybe make it clear you're looking for some POSITIVE suggestions/stories! 

Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards