Trouble in Paradise
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crazy dilemma

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Re: crazy dilemma

  • If you can't pull away from someone after dating for 6 weeks, than you have bigger problems than being attracted to this guy. Please see a counselor.
  • image MKESweetie:
    image kmount:

    Thanks for the wake-up call, but it's all easier said than done!  We'll see.

    Ok - this is not a time for "easier said than done," and "we'll see." For real, if you want a drama free life, with a man who doesn't have one foot out the door as he walks towards another woman, don't date a man with one foot out the door, walking towards another woman. This is not that hard. 

    That was hard to read... point taken.  This may be the most concise and poignant thing on here.  I can't believe I didn't see it.  (and no, I'm truly not being sarcastic)  This is why I love these boards.  No one can tell me like it is like a true outside person.  Ugh.  Yes, I am falling right back into the same pattern.  Ew.

    m/c 12/20/09 @ 5 1/2 weeks ~ CP 1/25/09 @ 4 weeks ~ missed m/c 4/6/10 (stopped growing @ 6 weeks, stayed with me until 10) ~Foster parent to B, 9/10-1/12~ Proud Mother of Gage Stephen, born 12/26/12 Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • image kmount:
    image Derniermot:

    If he were for real he would not agree to fvck her to see the kid. He would take more legal action.  Even if he were in a different state, if he made the effort (even if it were diffucult) to see the child (and if she said no/didnt follow the court order) and he documented and went to the court each time, eventually the court will do something and it lays a nice foundation if a new court takes jurisdiction.

    The fact that you arent outraged that he was like 'let me go boink my ex' makes me uncomfortable.

    Oh, it makes me absolutely SICK to think about!!  This is the part I have the hardest time with-- breaking up with me because she's crazy, fine, we can work it out in a month when she changes her mind and leaves.  But sleeping with her makes me feel ill.  It seems to make him feel ill, too.  I am a psychologist and feel like I have a pretty good BS-meter myself-- this guy is just not a BSer.

     

    HE is crazy if he is hopping on her crazy train.  YOU are crazy if you think he is justified in breaking up with you and/or sleeping with the ex.

  • image Derniermot:
    image kmount:
    image Derniermot:

    If he were for real he would not agree to fvck her to see the kid. He would take more legal action.  Even if he were in a different state, if he made the effort (even if it were diffucult) to see the child (and if she said no/didnt follow the court order) and he documented and went to the court each time, eventually the court will do something and it lays a nice foundation if a new court takes jurisdiction.

    The fact that you arent outraged that he was like 'let me go boink my ex' makes me uncomfortable.

    Oh, it makes me absolutely SICK to think about!!  This is the part I have the hardest time with-- breaking up with me because she's crazy, fine, we can work it out in a month when she changes her mind and leaves.  But sleeping with her makes me feel ill.  It seems to make him feel ill, too.  I am a psychologist and feel like I have a pretty good BS-meter myself-- this guy is just not a BSer.

     

    HE is crazy if he is hopping on her crazy train.  YOU are crazy if you think he is justified in breaking up with you and/or sleeping with the ex.

    Seriously. If he was really ill at the thought of this HE WOULD NOT BE DOING IT.  

    image
  • image 8daysaweek:
    image BowiesInSpace:

    I think you need to be single for a long while.  Your picker is not close to fully functional. 

    Who's the famous father?

     

    This please. Wasn't Charlie Sheen's daughter knocked up recently?

     

    OP, you know the answer here. This doesn't make a bit of sense and this is not what you want in your life.

     Take some time for you and figure out what you want and deserve in life. Your ex wasn't it and this surely isn't either.

    It's really not fair for me to answer this question.  You can see why I need to protect people's privacy.

    m/c 12/20/09 @ 5 1/2 weeks ~ CP 1/25/09 @ 4 weeks ~ missed m/c 4/6/10 (stopped growing @ 6 weeks, stayed with me until 10) ~Foster parent to B, 9/10-1/12~ Proud Mother of Gage Stephen, born 12/26/12 Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • image kmount:
    image Derniermot:

    If he were for real he would not agree to fvck her to see the kid. He would take more legal action.  Even if he were in a different state, if he made the effort (even if it were diffucult) to see the child (and if she said no/didnt follow the court order) and he documented and went to the court each time, eventually the court will do something and it lays a nice foundation if a new court takes jurisdiction.

    The fact that you arent outraged that he was like 'let me go boink my ex' makes me uncomfortable.

    Oh, it makes me absolutely SICK to think about!!  This is the part I have the hardest time with-- breaking up with me because she's crazy, fine, we can work it out in a month when she changes her mind and leaves.  But sleeping with her makes me feel ill.  It seems to make him feel ill, too.  I am a psychologist and feel like I have a pretty good BS-meter myself-- this guy is just not a BSer.

    Hold the phone!

    You are a psychologist and you think that this is acceptable behavior from this man? I don't know exactly what you do, but what if a client came to you with this 'crazy dilemma'?

    I agree with everything that muddled said. You should listen to her. -ESDReturns
  • You aren't divorced yet but have stars in your eyes over a guy you met 6 weeks ago, who has a psychopathic ex-GF and is planning a fake get together with her which may or may not include a charity f*ck so that he can possibly maybe see his child again while hoping that he doesn't get her pregnant.

    Here's an idea: RUN LIKE HELL.

    He doesn't have to put you first, especially over his child. You aren't his GF. He JUST MET you 6 weeks ago.  You sound as psycho as the ex-GF.

     

  • image Muddled:
    image kmount:
    image Derniermot:

    If he were for real he would not agree to fvck her to see the kid. He would take more legal action.  Even if he were in a different state, if he made the effort (even if it were diffucult) to see the child (and if she said no/didnt follow the court order) and he documented and went to the court each time, eventually the court will do something and it lays a nice foundation if a new court takes jurisdiction.

    The fact that you arent outraged that he was like 'let me go boink my ex' makes me uncomfortable.

    Oh, it makes me absolutely SICK to think about!!  This is the part I have the hardest time with-- breaking up with me because she's crazy, fine, we can work it out in a month when she changes her mind and leaves.  But sleeping with her makes me feel ill.  It seems to make him feel ill, too.  I am a psychologist and feel like I have a pretty good BS-meter myself-- this guy is just not a BSer.

    Hold the phone!

    You are a psychologist and you think that this is acceptable behavior from this man? I don't know exactly what you do, but what if a client came to you with this 'crazy dilemma'?

    Yeah, I can't believe you're a psychologist. Are you in counseling??

  • Oh, I think a break from dating would do you a WORLD of good.

    Oh yes, indeedy.

     

    image
    Yeah that's right my name's Yauch!
  • image His#1Girl:

    You aren't divorced yet but have stars in your eyes over a guy you met 6 weeks ago, who has a psychopathic ex-GF and is planning a fake get together with her which may or may not include a charity f*ck so that he can possibly maybe see his child again while hoping that he doesn't get her pregnant.

    Here's an idea: RUN LIKE HELL.

    He doesn't have to put you first, especially over his child. You aren't his GF. He JUST MET you 6 weeks ago.  You sound as psycho as the ex-GF.

     

    Ouch... I've known him for longer than I've been dating him.  He's a friend's roommate.  But still.  psycho?  ok...

    I get it... this is a bad idea.  Can't a person be in a bad place and feel really good when someone makes her laugh again?  That's where I've been.  I never said it was a brilliant idea.  But it sure as shiit felt amazing, and I'm really going to miss him.

    m/c 12/20/09 @ 5 1/2 weeks ~ CP 1/25/09 @ 4 weeks ~ missed m/c 4/6/10 (stopped growing @ 6 weeks, stayed with me until 10) ~Foster parent to B, 9/10-1/12~ Proud Mother of Gage Stephen, born 12/26/12 Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • image kmount:
    image His#1Girl:

    You aren't divorced yet but have stars in your eyes over a guy you met 6 weeks ago, who has a psychopathic ex-GF and is planning a fake get together with her which may or may not include a charity f*ck so that he can possibly maybe see his child again while hoping that he doesn't get her pregnant.

    Here's an idea: RUN LIKE HELL.

    He doesn't have to put you first, especially over his child. You aren't his GF. He JUST MET you 6 weeks ago.  You sound as psycho as the ex-GF.

     

    Ouch... I've known him for longer than I've been dating him.  He's a friend's roommate.  But still.  psycho?  ok...

    I get it... this is a bad idea.  Can't a person be in a bad place and feel really good when someone makes her laugh again?  That's where I've been.  I never said it was a brilliant idea.  But it sure as shiit felt amazing, and I'm really going to miss him.

     

    People that do hardcore drugs like heroin will say it feels amazing BUT IT STILL A REALLY FVCKING STOOPID TO DO THE DRUGS.

  • Tell us who the famous person is. We totally will keep it a secret. Pinkey swear.
  • LEAVING ASIDE the entire f*cked-up-edness of the ex-girlfriend, do you really want to be involved with a man who voluntarily signs himself up for several rounds of 18-year child support and contact with this woman?

    This is fully ridiculous.  If you can't see how dumb and Jerry Springer this entire thing is, then you deserve each other.

    image
    Updated September 2012. Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
  • image kmount:

    The stipulation she made was that he break up with me.  And sleep with her.  She wants to get pregnant again (BF says he will make absolutely certain that doesn't happen). 



    Just no. I would never be okay with this crazy. The fact that he's going along with it would be the nail in the coffin for me. You can do so much better than this.

    I also agree that he's not thinking clearly here either. Please do not hang around for this man. He's got years and years of dealing with his ex. You're facing a lifetime of disappointments with him in regards to his child and the BSC ex.

    Move on.
    [img]http://tinyurl.com/7s2uy4a[/img]

    DS#1: 11-21-2007 DS#2: 05-05-2012
  • Do you think it is possible that it felt  so amazing simply because you were hurting so much.  Two months ago you were on here talking about how much you missed your exH.  Two weeks later you started to date this guy.

    Do you think that if you weren't coming from a place of loneliness and heartache and instead a place of happiness and confidence that you would have even given this guy a second look.

  • If he knew she was crazy why did he have a kid with her?
  • Ok look, as the stepmom of two girls out of state, he should take visitation with his kid and spend time with him. Build a rapport and then refile. NOT sleep with his ex. This is not adding up, I agree with the other poster that said it sounds like he wants to have his cake and eat it too. Think of this, if you stay with this guy this drama will not go away. She is the mother of his child. This drama is not temporary, this will go on until the child is 18. We don't have this with DHs ex or I would be so far gone its not even funny. Move on ASAP. As for the comment about you being a psychologist, I'm in the field as well and some of the most messed up people I've met have been psychologists and psychiatrists. The MOST effed up person I've met was the director of a mental hospital. just being in the field does not exempt you from bad judgement.
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    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Um IMO he sounds like a d-bag and just as crazy as her.
  • image kmount:
    image Derniermot:

    If he were for real he would not agree to fvck her to see the kid. He would take more legal action.  Even if he were in a different state, if he made the effort (even if it were diffucult) to see the child (and if she said no/didnt follow the court order) and he documented and went to the court each time, eventually the court will do something and it lays a nice foundation if a new court takes jurisdiction.

    The fact that you arent outraged that he was like 'let me go boink my ex' makes me uncomfortable.

    Oh, it makes me absolutely SICK to think about!!  This is the part I have the hardest time with-- breaking up with me because she's crazy, fine, we can work it out in a month when she changes her mind and leaves.  But sleeping with her makes me feel ill.  It seems to make him feel ill, too.  I am a psychologist and feel like I have a pretty good BS-meter myself-- this guy is just not a BSer.

    Your BS meter is broken.  Dude should NOT sleep with a woman he believes to be crazy.  I'm just flabbergasted that this is even a question!  The fact he would even CONSIDER sleeping with her is like a sky full of red flags.  Move on.  Go to counseling, be alone, and get your life in order.

  • Add me to the list of those that are shocked that you are a psychologist.

    It was only two months ago (8/14 to be exact) that you were posting about your H and how badly you wanted to work things out.  You were desperate to keep him even though he was clearly done with you and you started dating this guy two weeks later?!?!?  How on earth did you make that jump?

    You need to take a serious break from men and dating completely.  Figure out how to be happy with yourself and why you are so desperate to be in a relationship that you'll put up with anything, including a husband that strings you along while he starts a relationship with someone else and a BF that asks you to wait for him while he bangs the ex.

    I would cut off all contact with this guy and swear off dating for a solid year. 

    image Grayson's side-eye
  • Sounds to me like he's already slept with her and gotten her pregnant and this was just his little made up story to explain it all to you.
  • I've been handling custody/visitation cases for the past 16 years, and there's no such thing as "I have to screw my ex for visitation." Normal people do things like... I dunno... fight it out in court. He's either spineless or full of sh!t. Either way, who wants him?
  • image ReturnOfKuus:
    Find a rebound guy with less drama.
    Wow. This. Either that or he's making this up because he's a wuss, and doesn't know how to dump you. Eff him. There's other fish so to speak.
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