Sex & Romance
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Sex: couldn't care less

I've been married to DH for 4yrs now- together for 6yrs.  I the last 6yrs I can't remember having an orgasim with him.  While masturbating I've been able to orgasim within 2 minutes and did previously with the bf before DH.

 

I know some women can have a hard time during intercourse but I've gotten to the point of thinking why should I bother? Is there something wrong with me? I've really wanted to talk with my Dr. but he had an 'emergency' about 2 months ago & has been on a leave ever since!

Re: Sex: couldn't care less

  • Why not show him what touches turn you on? 

    You went for 6 years without addressing the problem? Why didn't you do something about it when the problem began?

    Has he ever indulged in oral sex with you? If he hasn't eh, he needs to start and start immediately.:)  It's a sure fire thing to get an orgasm through oral --- not every woman can get an orgasm from vaginal intercourse.
  • So has your husband ever been able to give you an orgasm?
  • Is it that you cannot O vaginally...or cannot at all with your husband?  As the previous poster said, vaginal is often more diffult for women.  If this is the case, make sure and get the clitoral stimulation you need before the act...and definitely tell him what you like.  If he is giving you the stimulation... but not doing it right maybe you need to demonstrate.  Most men would definitely be happy to watch and assist you.  Also, try some new positions that will stimulate all areas, there are many great books and they often list the type of stimulation with the position.  Good luck !!  Just be honest with your husband that you want to try something new...to enhance your sex life.  You should have been talking with him about it all along...so just be tactful in how you say it.  Most men would welcome a little spicing up... especially you initiate.  Again GL !!

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  • Why did you marry a man who couldn't give you an orgasm?
  • Im interested in seeing the statistics again for female O. Last I remember reading a good quarter of woman will never have any O. And of the 3/4 that can only 25% of those can have a vaginal one. It makes me sad too, but at least Ive come to realize its not my fault- its nature.
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  • Ok, so your current guy isn't tripping your trigger. That kinda sucks. Unfortunately, there's a lot of women in your position, but that does mean you're not alone. Let's see what we can do for you:


    First off I need to ask you a bunch of deeply personal questions before I can issue any real advise: 

    Does he turn you on anymore? Or have you lost interest in sex with him altogether? 

    If/When you do have sex, is the act itself stimulating and pleasurable for you, but you're just not getting off? Or are you getting -nothing- out of it?

    Do you enjoy oral-sex, fingering, fondling, etc but not the penetration? Has your DH tried doing a long session of cunnilingus? 


    Have you tried masterbating yourself during penetration? If you can get yourself off, sometimes combining the two can make things better for all parties.


    Finally, does your DH know you haven't been getting-off? If not, you need to come clean with him, and let him know that it's not his fault, and you want to work to make it better for you. As males, we're pressured by culture to be the big orgasm providers, and if we're not, it can cause some big insecurities, and make sex a negative thing for him as well.





    Also: @ Artbyallie: 

    >> Why did you marry a man who couldn't give you an orgasm?


    It turns-out some of us are useful for things aside from being orgasm-machines. Some of us even do the dishes regularly. I don't know why you women always obsessed with sex - you need to realize there's an emotional component to relationships too! ;) 

  • I just read this VERY enlightening piece in a medical magazine that was talking about women's orgasms...they mentioned that if a woman's clitoris is a certain amount of centemeterrs away from her vagina its almost impossible for her to achieve orgasm with just having him inside her. They mention that the best positions to try (if you haven't already) is to have him on top with his pubic bone pressing against yoru clit. Or you sitting on him, facing him, where you're able to run your clit on his stomach or whatever you can touch. (Sorry if that's so graphic!)

    Anywho...maybe if you ehausted all your options and still can't find a position that works you could show him what you do with your hands and make his hands do it for you!

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  • image artbyallie:
    Why did you marry a man who couldn't give you an orgasm?

    Woa... That is not the only reason to marry a man. Geez.

  • image Shivati:
    Im interested in seeing the statistics again for female O. Last I remember reading a good quarter of woman will never have any O. And of the 3/4 that can only 25% of those can have a vaginal one. It makes me sad too, but at least Ive come to realize its not my fault- its nature.

    Wow, your response could not be more depressing.  Maybe you just typed your statistics in correctly, but you are wrong about a quarter of women never achieving an O.   You are correct about the small percentage of women who can reach O by vaginally, I happen to be part of that small percentage.  That being said, even though I can reach O that way it is not an easy feat.  I can also achieve an O manually and by oral (if the guy knows what he is doing).  But it sounds like you haven't had one in a while or ever either.  It is entirely possible for you to have one, you just need to take the time and effort to find out where your happy place is, and not have such a shiity attitude about it.  Don't blame nature for you lazyness, take charge of your sexuality and Os and go find what makes your toes curl.  That goes for the OP as well...

    If you know what turns you on, then do it in bed with your husband.  Have open lines of communication.  I'm not married, but one of my best friends, he and I have done the horizontal boogie several times and because he and I are so comfortable with each other, he knows what turns me on, what feels good, and how I can reach an O.  In turn, I know his favorite positions, and what he likes best.  Neither one of us have no problem talking to one another in bed and giving gentle direction.  You need to be that open with your husband because he can not feel what you feel.  You need to be able to tell him what feels good, what doesn't what kind of pressure you want where.  You need to be open enough to try new positions, or even new locations, like the shower or counter tops.  Take charge, and talk to him...that is the best advice I can give.

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