Sex & Romance
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Pleasuring yourself

Hi everyone,

   I'm new to this board but have a question for everyone. Whats the most effective way you have with pleasuring yourself? I just can not pleasure myself without a toy i dont know if im doing it wrong or i just dont know how to do it proper but i just get no effect from it at all but if DH uses his fingers on me i love it! TIA  

Re: Pleasuring yourself

  • Welcome to the board! I usually use a vibrator to masterbate, I have a silver bullet and I love it- does the trick every time. I know what you mean when you say that masterbating yourself has a totally different effect than when H uses his fingers, it is the same for me. Sometimes I use my hands down there and it feels good, but I usually can't get myself to orgasm. The vibrator just gives me this constant pressure that I could not achieve by myself, know what I mean? I hope this helps a little, sorry if I'm rambling.
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  • I can get myself to orgasm manually, but I prefer a toy any day.  I don't think that there is a right way or a wrong way.  I too find it way better when my DH does it for me.  When I do use my hand I find that I need some sort of visual stimulation (porn) whereas with a toy I do not.  I say if the toy works, then go that route ;)
  • I use both methods.

     When I am getting ready for work, and the house is empty, and I just feel the urge, I use my toy. That works pretty quickly for me.

    At night, when I cannot relax enough to go to sleep, I usually just use my finger. I find that fantasizing about sex helps it along - at least for me it does.  I also do it "manually" if I want it to last longer than with the toy.

    I love it when DH plays with me!  Sometimes he will say all he wants is to play, then we end up having awesome sex is always good. 

    One some porn before you start pleasuring yourself might help you reach orgasm without a toy, then masturbate while watching. 


  • The toy is really the way to go. I never pleasure myself without one, in fact it would be boring if I ever tried to. The bullets are the best, I agree with the previous poster. The tiny female toys are actually more fun then vibrators in my opinion, although most of these rabbits are pretty good too. I think everyone knows about the rabbits so it's nice to try something different. Use the tiny clit vibe during sex it's totally explosive or make sure your rabbit is waterproof and use it in the shower. Long time ago I lost my fears about these being bad for you, it's the way of life now and no need to feel ashamed about it.
  • WaitAMinuteHere - are you able to orgasm WITH a toy but can't with just your fingers? You might simply have trouble getting enough stimulation to your clitoris.  This is actually quite normal - many women have clitorises that are fully-hooded and need a bit more power to get to. Vibrators have WAY more potential for stimulation than just a couple fingers. On that regard, the next time you and your DH start getting intimate, ask him to show you how he does it. He might be using some time-honed technique that he can help teach you. Keep in mind, many women can't get themselves off without something battery-powered, it's nothing to be ashamed of, just start buying AA's at your local bulk-store. 

    That, or you might just need to get yourself in the mood beforehand (pun intended). Like others have suggested, try watching some porn, start fantasizing, or whatever gets you in the mood. You might even be psyching yourself out via performance-pressure - you're worried you can't do it manually, and the stress kills your arousal. 

    Odds are it's some combination of both a physiological problem and pyscological stuff. Keep working at it. 

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