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Bunking with FILs...?!

This is my first post (I don't even have my profile set up) but I needed some quick advice if anybody has a minute, I'd really appreciate it!

My future In-Laws are coming to stay with us for a week and over one of the weekends we will be going seven hours away from where we live to join in a fishing tournament. This was my FILs idea and sounded like fun..."Hotel's book!" was my fiance's confirmation to me that his parents booked us a room. They did, however, it turns out it is one room for all four of us! Not only was I looking for a nice little getaway with my man and his fam but it will be our five year anniversay that weekend and a little action wouldn't hurt. Any advise on how I can manuvour around this one without hurting the planner's feelings (FML) and still get some alone time with my Man. It seems so weird to me because my F and I have always shared a room when we stay at his family's place.... should I say something to my FILs about the booking or wanting another room? or just suck it up this once?

Re: Bunking with FILs...?!

  • I think you can lice w/o sex for one weekend. But past that, i would NOT want to share a hotel room w my ILs. Or even my parents. Your I needs to handle this, though, and I think a simple "we're going to get another room so that we can all have some privacy" should be sufficient. Or so I'd hope.
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  • I think it is perfectly reasonable for your fiance to book another room and simply tell his parents, "we appreciate the offer to stay with you but we're going to get our own room."

    However, I would get rid of your expectations of a romantic weekend, your in-laws are coming to visit, the priority should be spending time with them. Schedule an anniversary date for another weekend.

    I would also be concerned that after five years together your fiance doesn't know that sharing a room with his parents would make you uncomfortable, do you guys talk at all?

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  • image tallgirl206:

    However, I would get rid of your expectations of a romantic weekend, your in-laws are coming to visit, the priority should be spending time with them. Schedule an anniversary date for another weekend.

    I would also be concerned that after five years together your fiance doesn't know that sharing a room with his parents would make you uncomfortable, do you guys talk at all?

    This. Why are you considering marrying someone that you don't feel comfortable talking about this with?

    And I truly hope do you didn't expect your future ILs to know their trip was occurring on your "anniversary".

  • You or your FI should book a second room and your FI can tell them that. 


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  • I think it's weird that you haven't booked your own room or looked into other accomodations in the area. It's not hard to google and read some reviews and reserve a room.

    What are they gonna do - shoot you for booking your own room? Please. You don't want to bunk with them, so get a room and graciously side-step the sleepover. You do have a credit card and money, right?

    And BTW ... ick to the whole sex with my man overtures. Grow up.

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  • DH and I shared a hotel room with his parents when we went to a funeral.  We didn't realize it until we got to the hotel and there were no other rooms available.  We didn't make an issue out of it, considering why we were there.  However, it will never happen again!  Too weird.
  • DH and I traveled out of state for a wedding with his entire family and due to DH and I (at the time not being married) and his sister not being married to her wedding date)  - the six of us stayed in the same room. (His parents are uber traditional and would not let us share a room together even though we had been living together for quite some time).

    It wasn't as uncomfortable as we expected. Its more in your head than you think. It was only for 2 nights and we were all just sleeping. We even stayed completely out of the room until it was time for bed. The worst part about that was my MIL's snoring habits. 

    Perhaps your future IL's did it to save you money. Our IL's said it was so we didn't have to spend money (HA! Like I believe that one). One night doesn't sound bad to me though. If you're that worried about sex make sure you have a good romp before they arrive. 

  • Don't make a problem out of one that isn't. There is a very simple solution here. Call and reserve your own hotel room. FI can thank his parents for their gesture, and let them know he's booked another room.

    And ditto the PP that all the "My man" talk is cringe worthy.

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  • if you dont want to share a room get your own. it's entirely up to you and FI what you want to do....
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  • Get your own room and pay for it yourselves.

    And for pity's sake stop with the 'my man' stuff. It's repulsive.

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  • DH and I just got back from a wedding where we shared a hotel room with his parents. It's not weird at all. Everyone had their own bathroom time, and no one walked around naked. I even nurse my son and had privacy for that, too.
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  • Am I the only one who thinks it's weird that the FI didn't give the immediate hell no to sharing a hotel room with his girlfriend and his parents?

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  • image ReturnOfKuus:

    Am I the only one who thinks it's weird that the FI didn't give the immediate hell no to sharing a hotel room with his girlfriend and his parents?

    Nope.

    But I have a feeling that the OP and her "man" are both very, very young and immature.  I'd even be willing to bet that he still lives with his parents and they still do everything for him, which is why this set-up didn't seem weird at all to him. 

    ETA: nevermind, I see that they actually live together and apart from his parents.  Ok, I lose that bet. 

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  • your fianc? should have told his parents from the start that it's a big no-no!

    i don't even understand why your FILs even suggested such a bad.  every couple needs his privacy especially on their anniversary! Let your fiance break it to them. It 's his responsibility since it are his parents. Good luck! I wouldn't want to be in your shoes!

  • I would change the room immediately. Just tell them that you are uncomfortable sleeping in the same room as them. This would spell disaster for me. You can be nice about it, just say "I am really excited to take this trip with you, but I feel uncomfortable sharing rooms with you."
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  • Funny.  This weekend I was away with my kids I was wondering how long we would share are room with our own kids, I would never consider sharing a room with my kids and their SOs!     

    Just book a room on your own.  Have your FI tell them "we booked our own room.  Thanks for the offer."

    Your FILs might be trying to do you a favor by saving money...there might not be a large number or rooms available...they might not think it's a big deal....but what is ok with them doesn't have to be ok with you. 

    I would say - you can go a weekend without "a little action with my man." 

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  • I'm going to hope against hope, and assume that it was possibly a miscommunication between your FFIL and FI.  Perhaps FFIL sent almost that exact "hotel's booked" message to FI, and FI didn't bother to check what that meant.

    Honestly though, to avoid the possibility of hurt feelings, which is one of my favorite activities, I'd probably just book our own room and "confess" to them that "you snore and don't want to keep them up at night".

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  • my husband and i have shared a room with his parents before, we weren't in the room long since we had other plans, but it was fine...not like we were sleeping in the same bed. if you want some action on your anniversary, tell them it is your anniversary and the two of you would like to go out for a romantic dinner just the two of you that night and then get yourself some action in the car! a little excitement never hurt anyone :)

     as for your time in the room, idk what you are worried about, but take a book to read or take a bunch of movies to choose from if the room has a dvd player...or just pick up a fun board game (catch phrase is always fun!)

    maybe our families are just closer than most? i just don't see it being a big issue

  • I would never sleep in the same room as my in-laws nor would I make my husband do that with my parents. We stayed over at my parent's at Christmas, and it was weird enough sleeping in the same house. Tell your fiance to tell his parents that you two have booked a separate room, but thanks for the offer.
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