June 2008 Weddings
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whocoulditbe never works for me

I've tried before to respond to whocoulditbe posts anonymously... no dice. I wanted to post a vent (but I was going to tell you it was me) ;) but I can't sign in. I've tried yahoo, msn, and aol... all caps, no caps, first letter capped. Nothing. Apparently I'm not meant to post anonymously.

So, I reserve the right to DD tomorrow.

DH is driving me crazy. Crazy. We don't really have any marital problems. We've always been happy. He's a good dad, he does things for us to make life easier on me, etc. But for some reason, I'm just not into him right now. Every little thing he does drives me crazy. I hate sleeping with him. I'm tired of trying to have a conversation with him that goes nowhere. 

I have no idea if this is just pregnancy hormones talking, or if it's something deeper. I feel like we're just in this rut and I'm..... bored of him. (It's not like I want to leave, or cheat, or anything like that! It's just that everything's the same ole same ole and thinking about it being this way for the next 50 years is a little nauseating.) 

Am I alone? Am I just hormonal or is this kind of the normal progression of a marriage of someone whose been together for 10+ years? 

Thanks for listening to me vent. I'm going to bed now in hopes of falling asleep before he goes in there because lord knows once he goes to bed and tosses and turns and snores and grinds his teeth, I won't get any sleep! Stick out tongue

Re: whocoulditbe never works for me

  • I'm sorry you're going through that.  I have phases where my H gets on my last nerve, but I always come back around.  I think it's normal.  And I used to get resentful of my hubby's annoyingly loud snoring too.  Hang in there!

    And the sign in info for whocoulditbe is:

    [email protected]

    june2008

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  • It's not just you. I also go through phases like this. Luckily they're usually just phases. And although I won't completely blame it on pregnancy hormones I definitely don't think they help. 

    Sounds like you guys need to switch it up. Maybe go have a fun date night and do something you normally wouldn't do. That may spark new conversation and interest. Best of luck to you. :) 

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • image korndog99:

    It's not just you. I also go through phases like this. Luckily they're usually just phases. And although I won't completely blame it on pregnancy hormones I definitely don't think they help. 

    Sounds like you guys need to switch it up. Maybe go have a fun date night and do something you normally wouldn't do. That may spark new conversation and interest. Best of luck to you. :) 

    Usually when we hit a rut we need to get out and spend some quality "just us" time. I know we don't have any kids so it is easier for us but a little connection time gets us back on track. Sex never hurts things either....

    image
    PitaPata Dog tickers
  • I feel the same way, and have for a while. I know it's not hormones because I felt that way before getting pregnant. H tried to shake things up with our weekend away, but it didn't work. I also try to go to bed before him in the hopes I'll fall asleep before he gets there. The idea of sex actually turns my stomach a bit, sadly. I don't even like him regular touching me, like even just resting a hand on me. I have no idea what to do to make it better, but I hope it turns around for you.
  • I go through things like that too. Usually comes in waves. No clue why it happens, but it does come around. I find sometimes going out and not just having dinner helps (mini golfing, bowling, etc). Something that you do funny stuff to get yourselves laughing again and if you don't talk it is still fun. 
  • I went through the same thing when I was pg.  I honestly,  think it was mostly stress that caused me to be permanently annoyed with him.  I was freaking out about money, having to get a new car, 3 in daycare, possibly having to go on bed rest etc.  As for the rut and constant routine.... that is driving me crazy.  I feel like I am stuck on Groundhog day because every day is the same thing... I hate the monotony but at this age with the girls, there is no way to break it.  I do look forward to the day where things will be easier and less routine.
  • We've been together for 10 years too and we have ruts every now and then. I notice that hanging out with a group of people always helps me which is kind of odd. I see DH the way that originally attracted me to him when he's interacting with other people. I don't really notice these things when we're by ourselves and sitting around the house watching tv. Maybe you could celebrate making it through Nolan's first year with a date night or hanging out with some friends :)

    Happiest place on Earth!
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  • *whew* I'm not alone!

    Last night was especially bad for some reason. I think part of it is that I'm annoyed that it's Nolan's birthday and he's acting like it's just another day. I had big plans of things I wanted to do today and he's just so 'whatever' about it. Grr, men! 

    Ranger, I think you hit the nail on the head too. He is so stressed, which is causing me to stress and quite frankly I just don't want to be around him when he's like that! 

    A date night would probably do us good... but I just don't wanna. haha. 

  • You aren't alone. I was in a very rough patch back in Feb. I just checked out for about a month. Everything he did drove me batty.
  • image TeacherTiff:

    *whew* I'm not alone!

    Last night was especially bad for some reason. I think part of it is that I'm annoyed that it's Nolan's birthday and he's acting like it's just another day. I had big plans of things I wanted to do today and he's just so 'whatever' about it. Grr, men! 

     

    I always make a big deal about birthdays, holidays, firsts, etc.  Everything is just another day for DH, it drives me crazy.  He doesn't seem to care about the twins birthday party and whenever I show him things he just nods and is so not enthusiastic!  It drives me crazy!!!

    DH and I go out on a date night at least once a month.  I think it definitely helps.  We've been together for 10 years too, and as much as I can't stand him sometimes, I can't imagine life without him.  LOL  Since having the twins I've come to appreciate him more because i can't do it all by myself and need so much help!

  • You are definitely not alone. It may be the pregnancy hormones, but I recently had the same feelings and I am not pg anymore. It seems to have gotten better since DH switched jobs and has different hours at work. But, I would say we are in dire need of a date night just me and him. That would help tons. Maybe you guys need the same? Hope it gets better soon. 
  • You're not alone.  And I've never been pregnant.

    Good luck!

    Anniversary
  • image MrsJaay:

    We've been together for 10 years too and we have ruts every now and then. I notice that hanging out with a group of people always helps me which is kind of odd. I see DH the way that originally attracted me to him when he's interacting with other people. I don't really notice these things when we're by ourselves and sitting around the house watching tv. Maybe you could celebrate making it through Nolan's first year with a date night or hanging out with some friends :)

    This is completely true for me as well.  When I see my DH interacting with our friends, he tells stories, makes people laugh with jokes, and even kind of flirts with me.  It's like being reminded of all the reasons I fell in love with him.  Jaay's suggestion of a gtg with friends is a great idea!

     

    Married in 2008 - DD born in 2010 - EDD 6.15.2012!
  • You're not alone. I feel the same way and feel terrible about it. :-( The whole reason were taking our trip to Mexico is to give breathe some new life into our marriage. It's so easy to fall into a routine and take one another for granted and get annoyed with another. As much as it pains me to leave Neena for five days I know that our marriage NEEDS this trip.

    I agree with Jaay and Star, going out with friends does help. Unfortunately, we don't get to do that very often.

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    Neena Mae. 1/7/10
    "A baby nursing at a mother's breast is an undeniable affirmation of our rootedness in nature." - David Suzuki
    Pregnancy Ticker
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