Family Matters
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husband's childhood possessions

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Re: husband's childhood possessions

  • I agree completely. As I said in beginning, I had NO intention of taking any of the items. The book we only wanted to borrow for a few hours, I think some posters missed that. I only put that in as an example of her sentimentality, I probably should have come up with a better example because posters really latched onto it.

    DH is on board with scanning photos in, we have scanner we can take to ILs house. At some point, when we have kids of our own, he will want some of his childhood things. But for now, this will work fine.

     

  • The birth certificate thing is tripping me out.  My parents gave me mine when I was 14, when I needed it to get my first job.  Same as my social security card.  Do peoples parents really hijack their birth certificates into adulthood?  Why would they even need it at that point?
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • My parents gave me mine when I was 17 or so, just in case I needed it for something. 

    I am still not sure why she balked on the birth certificate. She had no need for it and we did, which is why she finally parted with it. Plus we told her we may not get a copy in time for wedding, which would have sucked!!

    Just to update, since this got so many responses. DH called and asked MIL about pictures. She was hesitant at first but ok once she understood we just wanted to scan them, not take them.

     

  • I have no momentos from my childhood expect for a few things I kept myself when I was in high school. My mom was not the type to keep old report cards or school projects. I have never seen anything from my DH's childhood either. Perhaps there is a great big box in storage somewhere, I doubt it.

    It never occured to me to feel this was a loss of any kind. I wouldn't even know what to do with such things.

    If you want to make a scrapbook of your husband's childhood things, then ask for what you want. If she's weird about giving it up, then sweeten the deal by offering her a copy of the scrapbook. Sounds like she would want one.

    Or skip it. Surely, you have other projects to focus on. It's a cute idea, but hardly worth any extra weirdness with your MIL.

     

    My darling daughter just turned 4 years old.
  • image sprky79:
      Her refusal to share any of that information speaks volumes.

    This is not factual, however.  The original poster said in one of her follow up posts that she has in fact *not* asked for the items she wishes to have for scrapping.  She's presupposing only.   

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • That is true chavayjakov. And after DH asked really sweet and explained everything, she agreed to scanning of pics. I definitely wanted to get a feel of how other people felt about this, since my family is so different about it, before we approached it. 

    I think sprky79 may be referring more to birth certificate and not allowing borrowing of other thing DH and I wanted. And DH did want to show my little brothers the book, he is very fond of them of course. We just let that one go.  

     

  • image cidness:

    Remember, he is yours NOW. That means you are the real winner!

    Indifferent

  • Wow, I'm actually a bit shocked at how some posters are reacting to this.  In my family, aside from the things specifically given from child to parent (cards, gifts, etc.), everything is ours.  All of my art, my report cards, my recital videos, my school work, my baby things, everything is mine and has always been mine.  My mother has never insinuated that these things are hers, nor did she try to stop me from leaving with these things when I became an adult and moved out.  In the same vein, my mother has her high school artwork, her Barbies, her baby clothes, her baby pictures, etc. from her own mother (who is sentimental, but sees those things as my mom's).  The idea that a parent would refuse to turn over any of these things to their child if they asked for it just boggles my mind.  Would I ever ask my mom to give me the clay jewelry box I made for her in 5th grade art?  No.  Would I ask for my mom to please give me some of my baby photos/scan them for me? Absolutely.  I don't see how that is entitled, but as others have pointed out, each family sees these things differently.

    I'm glad things are going to work out for you, OP! 

  • Print this out and save it somewhere.  When your future son's wife wants to take his childhood photos, crafts and memories pull it out.  I can't imagine how hard it would be to part with that stuff.  I would scan the photos and books and stuff.

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