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Update to 50% Sister, 100% Fabulous 1000% Jealous

So my DH decided to go for a dry run. "Let's go visit your dad" he says. He had kinda pissed Dad off by bailing on a BBQ last minute so DH wanted to make it up to him by taking him to the Olive Garden We don't even pull up to the house and my sister is at the door. And my cousin (half-cousin?). And my little brother. And another cousin I've never met. And my brother's friend that I used to babysit.

 Um....hi?

 So we get into the house and I had no time to be jealous. Our 21 month old hasn't seen any of these people in months, if at all and was TERRIFIED. Which made me put things into prospective. My son is totally missing a large part of his family because of my resentment and jealousy. Which I didn't even feel anymore. Okay she has an iPad. Whatever. I wasn't even jealous when she passed out her prom pictures (GORGEOUS).

We spent the whole time talking and laughing and re-capping my wedding ("WTF was the photographer doing back there?" "What was up with your MIL's extensions? {they were pretty bad but I love her anyway lol}" and my favorite "girl, that dress was beautiful"). It was nice. I think it helped that my cousin was there. We were really close when we were little kids and I totally forgot that. It also turns out that many other closer relatives of mine will be at the party on Sunday so there'll be a lot of buffers in case I do get a little uncomfortable.

A lot of you are right: my stepmom is really superficial and judgemental and most of my sister's spoiling is due to her. According to my dad, my stepmom should kinda cut back because she actually can't afford all those gadgets and labels but feels like she just has to have it. So she might be the one I want to avoid.

I might have been just having a bad day yesterday. Job hunting can really bring a girl down.

<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/[email protected]/7469717568/" title="Marty swing by MrsG.2011, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8025/7469717568_952b66eb93_n.jpg" width="320" height="240" alt="Marty swing"></a>
<a href="http://lilypie.com/"><img src="http://lb4f.lilypie.com/kamRm6.png" width="400" height="80" border="0" alt="Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickers" /></a><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/[email protected]/7469757522/" title="6060686904_317183011b_z[1] by MrsG.2011, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8003/7469757522_95750e1e3e_n.jpg" width="320" height="214" alt="6060686904_317183011b_z[1]"></a>
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Re: Update to 50% Sister, 100% Fabulous 1000% Jealous

  • I am glad that you are feeling better about your family!

     

    The most beautiful things in the world are not seen nor touched. They are felt with the heart. -- Helen Keller Daisypath Anniversary tickers
  • Wonderful.
    My darling daughter just turned 4 years old.
  • Glad to hear you are feeling better about the situation.  There's nothing at all to be jealous of like you've realized.

    I'll also add I'm 10 years younger than my half-sister (although we lived together growing up) and we are actually very close despite the age difference.  Definitely keep making the effort because my bet is that she'd love to feel like you want some kind of relationship with her.  You don't have to become best friends, but not resenting her anymore is a very good step.  :)

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  • I am glad you seem to be working things out, but I'd caution you against seeing your dad as this great guy while your stepmom is the "bad one." 

    It seems as if you have a history of your dad disregarding you / your feelings (missing your own birthday party, having your stepsister almost skip out of being an attendant at YOUR wedding so she could have an entourage and two proms).  It seems he is ALSO extremely superficial, and that he is eager to keep up the appearance of "one big, happy family" with no regards to your feelings. 

    So what if dad is angry that you can't make a barbecue?  If something came up and the time no longer worked for you, you don't go.  Ditto all of the other "family" parties.  And while your dad claims to be frustrated that his younger daughter has "too much," it seems as if he never sent any extra funds your way. 

    Sorry, I'm not trying to rain on your parade, but trying to be realistic.  You're allowed to be angry at your dad.  You don't have to make your 1/2-sis, or your stepmom the "bad guy."  I am personally not impressed by your dad by what you have wrote about him.

    I would also say, you are an adult now, and don't have to pretend that your stepmother's family is your family.  I've never heard the term "step-aunt," - - any relationship with your stepmom's family should be strictly by YOUR choice.  If you don't like her FB comments, then un-friend her and tell her you're deleting a lot of people and only friending those CLOSEST to you.

  • image SueBear:

    Sorry, I'm not trying to rain on your parade, but trying to be realistic.  You're allowed to be angry at your dad.  You don't have to make your 1/2-sis, or your stepmom the "bad guy."  I am personally not impressed by your dad by what you have wrote about him.

    Oh yeah, my dad is a d**k in his own right. I think that's what brought him and my stepmom together.

    <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/[email protected]/7469717568/" title="Marty swing by MrsG.2011, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8025/7469717568_952b66eb93_n.jpg" width="320" height="240" alt="Marty swing"></a>
    <a href="http://lilypie.com/"><img src="http://lb4f.lilypie.com/kamRm6.png" width="400" height="80" border="0" alt="Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickers" /></a><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/[email protected]/7469757522/" title="6060686904_317183011b_z[1] by MrsG.2011, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8003/7469757522_95750e1e3e_n.jpg" width="320" height="214" alt="6060686904_317183011b_z[1]"></a>
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