Our mother has shaky relationships with all of the older kids in my family. (She's very much self-involved, tries to control everyone & everything, she plays the victim, denies any responsibilities, & will not apologize for anything - ever. No exaggeration) *There's a ton more, but it's very complicated*
Well, because of this behavior, my siblings & their spouses have been reluctant & even had it out because our mom has pushed & pushed to keep the 'grandbabies' for some time (a week or longer).
Knowing this, I was pretty surprised when I heard that my sister & her hubby are letting my eldest niece stay about a week or so with mom. A few weeks ago, my sister was telling me how emphatic they are about not having mom alone with any of the kids because her behavior is so unpredictable.
I was a bit bothered that my mom is all over the place with this "I my grandbabies!" & "My grandbabies make me smile & my world better!" & the like. It just rubbed me the wrong way because she is all about the 'grandbabies' but it's as though she's overwhelmingly more interested in the grandkids rather than her own kids. (My siblings range from ages 27-13; my nieces & nephews range from ages 10-1). When with the grandkids, she's more about "Give me that pillow.", "Go set the table", & "Pour me a glass of water-only 2 ice cubes this time." & not about the quality time like teaching them tricks, crafts, or other things that their parents can't or don't know. You know, the role a grandparent should be.
I want to approach her on what her deal is & why all of a sudden she went from obsessing with her own death & how we need to all understand she wants to go soon (she's not even 50!) & now it's all about the grandkids. It's like a bad ride on a crumbling rollercoaster & I'm not the only one tired of it, but nobody else is willing to step-up & call her out on her B.S. Any advice on how to approach this one? *tia & sorry for the length of this post*